


Ever After and then Some

by touchreceptors



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, Imported, M/M, Mpreg, Post R2, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-11 21:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 44,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/touchreceptors/pseuds/touchreceptors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-R2. Basically a SuzaLulu happy family take on the ending, whereby Suzaku saves Lelouch, Lelouch retires to the countryside with C.C., and then... gets pregnant. Geass-wise, that's not going to be so hard to believe - right? Expect large amounts of fluff and a minor amount of crack. Other (het)pairings briefly co-star.</p>
<p>(Originally posted on ffn in 2009 and completed there in Feb 2013. Now that I've shifted my base of operations to AO3, this is still slowly being imported with very minor edits. Will backdate accordingly once all importing and editing is done.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER: This started out in late 2009 as an indulgent attempt at a (somewhat) silly, sweet, happy-family take on the ending, written entirely for the purpose of my own amusement. By the time I finished, it had turned into my most massive and cherished personal project on fanfiction.net.**
> 
> **Nonetheless, PLEASE BEAR IN MIND that I wrote the bulk of this when I was younger and less sociologically educated, and that my earlier work does not necessarily represent my current views, not to mention the current style/maturity of my writing.**
> 
> Given that it wasn't meant to be too serious, I suppose the bulk of this fic is still acceptable enough to me to leave online/archive here. However, there are two or three instances in the entire story where Lelouch is teased for displaying stereotypical 'feminine' traits and where he responds by being utterly vexed - owing to my younger self's interpretation of his characteristic frustration/ embarrassment whenever he is made to don women's clothing in the side materials. I had intended for this to add to the humor (and for the record no one has ever taken up issue with me over this), BUT I recognize now that not everyone may find this funny. So please be suitably warned if you find such things offensive!
> 
> I do also attempt to provide a sense of closure w.r.t. certain aspects of the series throughout this story, and the first half of this chapter may appear a little more serious and will contain most of the transitional information you may want - but on the whole, you are looking in the wrong place if you'd like a meaty plot.
> 
> That said, I have tried to make this as believable as possible (as far as Geass goes, anyway ;D) and I have tried to tie it in with the canon end as much as possible, too. (Canonically, I still believe Lelouch is better off dead, but this is a fanfic and we'll give them a nice lighthearted fairytale-esque ending, yes? Yes. Okay.) Enjoy.

One

The first thing Lelouch remembered upon waking was the sound of Nunnally screaming. Slowly, his eyesight shifted to focus on his surroundings and he became aware of a steady, dully burning throb in his abdomen. There was a wall next to him, and dim lighting in the room... This wasn't heaven. Nor was it hell. Probably an apartment of sorts.

The Requiem. Had their plan failed?

And then he realized his hand was being kept warm in those of another. There was someone gently shifting the hair away from his eyes, green irises as he focused on the face...

"Where am I, Suzaku? What happened?" His voice felt like it hadn't been used in  _days_. He became aware of C.C. sitting quietly in the corner as well, watching them intently with a somber expression.

Suzaku gave him a small smile. "You're safe. Don't worry, Zero Requiem still went exactly as planned. The world knows you to be dead. But you should rest right now... It probably isn't the best time for me to -"

There was a quickening of his heartbeat, a painful throb where his wound - the wound meant to kill him - was. Lelouch spoke quietly.

"I want to know why and how I'm here."

"That's not something you need to -"

"Answer me."

His best friend's smile had disappeared. Suzaku swallowed and took a deep breath. "We... saved you. At that last moment, I... angled my blade... so that it'd cause as little damage as possible, and the LeBlancs... you know, the two doctors who knew of your plan - they helped save your life."

And so Suzaku recounted - how they had brought him in, after he'd lost consciousness and supposedly passed on, to a room only he and Nunnally could access, at Nunnally's request - so she could bid him goodbye in private. (After all, dictator or not, he was still her brother.)

There, at both Suzaku's and Nunnally's pleading, the doctors - who, Lelouch remembered, had been among the few royal subjects during his short reign who'd known the truth behind the Zero Requiem - had willingly done what they could to keep his life hanging in the balance. They'd then rushed him somewhere safer to complete the surgery. In the meantime, the coffin had been prepared and Nunnally had arranged for a quiet, simple burial next to Suzaku's own grave - nothing grand to glorify or honor the Emperor-dictator, but enough to ensure that sufficient respect was still paid to her late kin, and enough to assure the rest of the world that his dreaded reign had finally come to an end.

"...It's been almost six days since the Requiem. Right now... you're in a small private apartment I managed to rent. The doctors have been making visits to check on you and C.C.'s been watching over you. No one else knows you're here." Suzaku was still speaking, explaining things slowly, carefully.

"They say you should be well enough to move comfortably within the next few days or so, so when that happens, the two of you can move off somewhere safer still... the countryside, probably. There's a cottage, a little less than half an hour's ride from Jeremiah's orange farm. And the doctors are actually retiring and moving nearby, too. They'll be closer to the town, but also just half an hour away, if anything happens." Suzaku smiled a little again then, squeezing his hand gently.

"A couple of months' rest now and you'll be  _completely_  fine. Nunnally and I will come to visit, when we can... when it's safer. Things are already starting to settle, in fact. Peace talks are moving, Nunnally's been named the Empress... Ougi's been elected as the new Prime Minister of the United States of Japan, for another, and there's much more that I can tell you later, but Lelouch - everything is moving -  _recreating_ , just like you said it would. And now you'll... you'll be here to see it."

The weak, hopeful smile was still on his face when he finished.

Lelouch wasn't too thrilled about all of this, however. He forced himself halfway up on one elbow, voice trembling as the full magnitude of everything began to hit him.

"Suzaku...  _what have you_ _done_?"

Suzaku looked as if he'd just been struck, though he didn't recoil. The blow had probably been expected. "I..." He swallowed again, face going rigid.

"I couldn't do it." He said hoarsely. "I know this goes against what we promised each other, and I know... I know neither of us deserves this. And I thought I could... I  _trusted_  that I could - I was so sure, but I..." And then his voice cracked, as did the mask he'd put up. "In the end I..."

"Gods  _damn it!_   _I_ _trusted you!_ " Lelouch was shaking, furious. He sat up fully, ignoring even the terrible pain which seared through his side as he did so. "Do you realize how much of a risk we're  _taking_?"

"I do." Came a small voice from the doorway. And Lelouch stopped, stilled, and went silent as Nunnally wheeled herself in.

"But when Suzaku stepped down from that podium and held my hand - when I learnt that he was going to do everything he could to save you... I didn't say no."

Slowly, she reached and took Lelouch's hand in her own, eyes beginning to brim with tears. "A kinder, gentler world... Brother, all I ever truly needed was you. It is  _nothing_  without you.

"Without you, it would be nothing but loneliness."

Lelouch covered her hands tenderly in his. "Nunnally..."

"We love you, Lelouch." Suzaku whispered, the tears already rolling in silent streaks down his face.

Yes, they did... He knew they did. C.C., Nunnally, and Suzaku...

"I know, Suzaku, I know. I..."

"Then will you not try to accept that you're still here, because we do?" Nunnally asked softly.

And the anger, Lelouch realized, had lifted and fled.

"...Of course I will." He whispered hoarsely, squeezing her hands in assurance and feeling his heart warm as she smiled at him through her tears.

And then she was letting go, slowly, so he could reach out to gather Suzaku into his arms as the latter, broken, finally buried his face into his chest, shaking with quiet sobs. He smoothed Suzaku's hair and held him, soothing him even as his first tear made its way silently down his cheek.

"Of course I will."

And when Lelouch turned to look at C.C., the witch's own eyes were glistening, a true smile unmistakably on her face at long, long last.

* * *

In actual fact, Suzaku didn't say he was sorry - though it was not something which needed to be said. Lelouch called him softly to his bedside early the next morning, when Suzaku came in to check on him before he left.

"My King." Mask off but already in full Zero regalia, Suzaku arrived by his side, his formal acknowledgement soft as well in the quiet of the morning.

"You were right in saying neither of us deserves this." Lelouch murmured. "But if I am to accept this situation - if I am to live... then I want you to promise me something."

Sensing the gravity of the moment Suzaku knelt silently before him so that their faces were level, clasping one of Lelouch's hands and waiting.

"Can you forgive yourself?"

\- and for a moment, Suzaku felt his heart skip a beat, but then Lelouch continued speaking, slowly, quietly.

"Forgive the Kururugi Suzaku you once were, the Kururugi Suzaku who is dead, and no more... Let go of the deeds he's done. Can you do that?"

There was a pause, and Suzaku was certain Lelouch felt the tremble in both his hands which were wrapped around his own, but violet eyes remained fixed on his.

"I'm not asking you to forget." Lelouch said softly. "You can't. You won't, and you will continue to live out your punishment as Zero, bearing the hope of the world on your shoulders, while I take mine in the form of exile - but we will keep moving forward... now that things have come to this. Now that we're here.

"There's no point to all that you and Nunnally have done for me unless we're all able to  _truly_  live, alongside one another. And that includes you." Lelouch paused, a thumb moving to run comfortingly along the back of one of Suzaku's gloved hands. "Do you understand?"

Silence. The Geass in Lelouch's eyes glittered in the dim light - no longer something which could command his obedience, but a reminder, an echo, along with his words - of his original command to him, one that Suzaku had fully accepted when the Emperor had fallen on Zero's blade.

It wasn't a command this time. A request - one which had been carefully considered, but which was no less heavy.

When Suzaku finally managed to rasp words beyond his constricting throat there were tears burning in his eyes. "I -"

Lelouch extended his other hand, drawing him closer and stroking through his hair, calming him just as he had the day before. "Hush."

" _Lelouch._ " Suzaku whispered into his shoulder after a shuddering breath - and there, Lelouch knew, was his friend's promise.

It wasn't going to be easy, but Suzaku was certainly going to try.

Slowly, Lelouch lifted his hand to caress the side of his face and bring him in for a soft kiss, and with a small sound Suzaku covered his hand with his own, gripped it tight, and reciprocated. It was long, and heartfelt, and words were not needed anymore.

* * *

Much to Suzaku's and Nunnally's relief and delight, Lelouch recovered rapidly. Within the week, the doctors were happy to pronounce him fit enough to travel, and so he and C.C. set off for the countryside.

True to his plans for his life during exile, Jeremiah Gottwald had indeed begun an orange farm not too far off from the cottage which had been set aside for Lelouch and C.C.. Suzaku was glad to discover that Anya and Sayoko had joined him there to help out with the work, and Sayoko, true to her shinobi heritage, had not needed to be told about Lelouch's survival and had already sent word to say that she would be happy to come down to assist them should they ever be in need of any help.

The doctors, too, as Suzaku remembered telling Lelouch, moved off to their own cottage nearer to the town.

Surgeon Marc LeBlanc, and his wife, Julianna (who, as an obstetrician by profession had helped deliver a few of the younger royals) had willingly served the Britannian Imperial line for over a decade, up until Lelouch's orchestrated death. Like Jeremiah, they'd been delighted to find Queen Marianne's firstborn still alive, and had pledged allegiance when Lelouch had revealed his plan and its motives. At Lelouch's order, however, they'd followed Sayoko, Cecile, Lloyd and other subjects who'd known the truth in joining the opposing forces toward the end - in order to be freed instead of persecuted once the Requiem ended.

They'd least expected, of course, to be asked to go against what was arranged and rescue their emperor in secret, but in an act of compassion and understanding, had done so and brought forward their retirement to the countryside, in order to be near in case of further trouble with the wound.

To all this, and everyone, Lelouch and Suzaku could only express extreme gratitude, and Nunnally, as Empress of Britannia, managed to request the area for her personal use and secure privacy and a good supply of everything for the entire place on that basis.

She had, meanwhile, chosen to stay in Japan, in order to work with Ougi and everyone else to see the country she'd grown up in - and the rest of the world - being healed and rebuilt - and of course, to be closer to where her brother was. As Lelouch had intended in his grand scheme of things, Britannia had since returned freedom to its colonies and shifted to a system based on democracy - in turn enabling Nunnally to act as its ambassador and figurehead from Tokyo, where she both represented Britannia and was still able to assist its new Prime Minister in overseeing the running of things in the motherland. She had already made a couple of visits back, and the restoration of the Pendragon capital which had been wiped out during the Damocles' attack was soon well under way. Ashford Academy was fully rebuilt too, back in Tokyo, with Lelouch and Nunnally making plans with Jeremiah to restore the memories of their former student council mates and light up surprise fireworks for the grand reopening - so that Lelouch's promise of having everyone together to watch the fireworks again someday was still somewhat kept.

Peace talks abounded. Minor problems still existed, but across the globe countries were already striving to work together, and conference after conference was held with focus upon combining resources, rebuilding, lending assistance, aiding those who were poor and who'd lost their loved ones and homes during the war. The Black Knights, under Zero once more, also provided their support wherever they could. Japan looked set to become a frequent conference center for the new world and its leadership, and all this of course kept both Suzaku and Nunnally highly occupied during the first few months, even with Schneizel dutifully assisting them and Cornelia's support.

Lelouch and C.C. coped fine when on their own, though. C.C. had little trouble getting a horse or a cart ride from a nearby farm (Japan still remained largely westernized from its Area 11 days), and she would wander or ride to town for her pizza and some groceries every now and then. And Lelouch, naturally, still handled all the cooking and the household work, unless Sayoko dropped by to visit and lend a hand.

They even began cultivating a little patch in the back garden for assorted vegetables, and in the front - sunflowers, as memories of the happier times during their childhood. Life was vastly different and pleasantly quiet as compared to the past two years of plotting, fighting, betrayal and turmoil (as pleasant as having C.C. around would allow for, anyway), and Lelouch soon grew used to afternoons spent gardening, and nights spent lying in the grass and gazing at the stars.

C.C. smiled a lot more now, too - even amidst her constant snarking and playful bickering with him which, unfortunately, had not changed - but every time she did, Lelouch found himself smiling as well. And now, months after what would have been the end, in what he would never have imagined after all he'd done - where the world was, where  _he_  was, where they all were...

Lelouch had accepted that life and love, perhaps, had somehow given them all a second chance.

And life was beautiful.

Suzaku and Nunnally visited as often as they could, bringing more pizza and groceries with them. Once a month, sometimes twice - using simple wigs and sunglasses which worked fine when disguising themselves during travel. (After all, they couldn't exactly go driving unnoticed into the countryside as Zero and the Empress Ambassador of the Holy Britannian Empire.) And at times, as the months went by, Suzaku was even able to drop by on random days or a few consecutive weekends due to his fluctuating schedule and duties as Zero. Empress Nunnally kept the persona and whereabouts of her silent, mysterious and loyal bodyguard quiet from everyone, and he was often away on "personal matters", especially more so when world relations were settling nicely and he was less needed.

For Suzaku, the weight of the mask and the weight of the cape on his shoulders were still constant reminders of how close they'd come to losing it all, of how much they'd actually deserved, and of his new promise to Lelouch. The past, he knew, would always be remembered as a dull ache in all their hearts. But they were here... here now -  _all_  of them were, and the warmth in his chest which came from that knowledge, from the joy in everyone's smiles - was undeniable.

And Suzaku had, in fact, begun to smile again himself, from the time they'd first stepped into the cottage and from the moment Nunnally's face had lit with loving joy upon seeing her brother. Lelouch had welcomed them both with serene, radiant eyes and in that moment, Suzaku had known for certain that he'd made the right choice to fight for Lelouch's life - no matter now big the risk had been and perhaps still was.

They were here, and they were  _alive_.

Yes, even  _Arthur_. That dear rascal of a cat had still managed to find him eventually, somehow, wandering into his quarters in the capital one night - and Lelouch had only been too happy to take him in (and treat all of Suzaku's cat bites) when Suzaku brought him with him on his second visit.

And then there was Kallen.

The girl had chosen to remain as the ace of the Black Knights and as Zero's personal guard. As Suzaku often reported, she seemed to be healing nicely enough and was now getting along well with Gino. She'd revealed to Suzaku early on, too, that she knew who he, as the new Zero, really was, and that she'd finally understood what he and Lelouch had been setting out to do.

Lelouch had always known she'd figure out these things - and perhaps she had, from the very moment Suzaku had appeared as Zero, to kill him in front of the world. It was good to know she was doing well.

"But she misses you, clearly." Suzaku told him, on one visit. "She speaks about you sometimes, when we're alone in Zero's office. And I think... she's beginning to suspect something."

Lelouch smiled. He'd expected that, too. Kallen had always been smart. And strong - a quality he'd always admired in her - strong enough to move on whether she knew he was still alive or not. But then...

"She deserves to know." He said softly. "But... wait till she asks.

"She'll be ready, then."

* * *

And so time passed, every day a new reason to be grateful, a new opportunity for laughter, a new step forward from what had been into what was now.

Before the Zero Requiem, sex with each other had always been with a gentle, somber finality. Sometimes Suzaku would've wept, and Lelouch would've held and comforted him with soothing murmurs in the dark.

Suzaku still wept, every now and then. Though now, it was no longer from despair.

"Are you happy?" Lelouch murmured to him one night, gazing up at him as he ran a thumb over his cheek to wipe away a tear.

Suzaku kissed his cheek softly in return. "Yes." He whispered, then paused, as if thinking, remembering. "There are - of course, things... I still wish could be taken back... and undone."

Euphy, Lelouch knew. Euphy, and Suzaku's father, and Japan, and the way they'd treated each other, their names, their birthrights, and so many other things they'd been through, which they'd done or not done, which they'd thought and hoped would turn out one way but had only blossomed or careened into another.

Suzaku fingered the scar on the bare skin of his side slowly, silently. "But what I have now is far more than what I could ever hope for, or deserve. And for that... I'm always grateful." He looked up and kissed him again, gently on his lips, his smile small and warm. "Are  _you_  happy?"

"If I said no..." Lelouch smiled against his neck as he nuzzled his ear. "I'd be lying again."

* * *

A year went quickly by. It was still early to be calling it a happily ever after of sorts - but then the kind of trouble they all sometimes anticipated at the back of their minds never actually arrived.

No, it chose to drop on their laps in a very, very different form instead.

The first sign of this "trouble" was when Suzaku stepped in one evening and noticed how Lelouch looked a little paler than usual.

"I'm a little tired." Lelouch waved it off with one hand and turned to walk back into the house.

"He's been throwing up for the past two days." C.C. informed him helpfully as she adjusted Cheese-kun on her lap and flipped another page of what seemed to be a raunchy thriller novel, looking completely bored with what she was reading.

"A minor problem with my appetite. It's probably something I ate."

"I told you to let me get us pizza instead, didn't I?" C.C. grinned, looking up from her book.

"Oh?" Suzaku responded jokingly. "Lelouch vi Britannia, the world's finest chef? Mess up on his perfect cooking?"

Lelouch snorted. "Well, I don't see C.C. having the same problem."

Suzaku hesitated. Lelouch  _did_  seem more or less fine - though his eyes, too, were lacking in their usual sharp luster.

"Okay... Perhaps we should call up LeBlanc, just in case..."

"Don't be ridiculous, Suzaku."

C.C. rolled over on the couch and propped her chin up on her hands. "Oh? But you've been feeling dizzy too, haven't you?"

"It's called  _low blood pressure_." Lelouch retorted.

C.C. gave a short laugh, clearly enjoying the way Suzaku's brow was furrowing further and the way Lelouch was getting more and more irritable. "In fact, if you look at things it almost seems like you're  _pregnant_ , Lelouch. It's too bad you're a man."

There was a moment of silence as Suzaku blinked and Lelouch turned to look at her, expression unreadable.

"... _Witch._ " Was his only grumbled, eventual response toward the highly amused pair of amber eyes.

"Are you  _sure_  you're all right?" Suzaku asked, setting down his coat and the pizza he'd brought. "I know it's been almost a year, but..."

Lelouch sighed. "I'm fine. Just under the weather, most likely."

"Apparently since Wednesday afternoon." C.C. added dryly, though from the way the small smirk of mischief had disappeared from her face and the fact that she wasn't already in the midst of devouring the pizza, Suzaku realized that she was actually a little concerned as well.

He suddenly found himself wishing Nunnally hadn't been too busy to come over that weekend - if there was one person who could persuade Lelouch to see the doctor just in case something severe had gone wrong, it was still Nunnally. (Or perhaps Sayoko, with her full arsenal of Shinozaki heirloom weapons - but maybe that was taking things a little too far.)

"Well, here's what we're going to do then." Suzaku decided. "No pizza for you - and I'll make dinner tonight. You rest. And if you're still having problems tomorrow I'm giving the LeBlancs a call. Alright?"

"Just when did you get so commanding?" Lelouch was grinning. "Clearly it's been too long since you last knelt at my feet, Sir Kururugi."

Suzaku grinned back and pulled him toward him to give him a quick kiss. "Long enough, Your Majesty."

"-Regardless, you do realize that as your knight he'd still have a say when it comes to exercising an overabundance of caution over your safety, don't you?" C.C. pointed out, smirking. "Of course, that boldness _could_ also be influenced by how much control you've been allowing him to take in bed..."

"One more such word from you, witch, and I  _promise_  you you won't be getting anymore pizza for a month. And  _you_..." Lelouch turned back to Suzaku. "If I throw up after dinner, it most certainly won't be my own fault."

* * *

Lelouch didn't throw up after dinner, contrary to what he'd initially expected. Suzaku woke to the sound, however, of his chicken broth and noodles (or what had become of it, anyway) being retched into the toilet early the morning after.

He opened the bathroom door in time to see Lelouch pulling the flush, getting slowly to his feet and proceeding to rinse his mouth.

"You all right?"

"More or less." Lelouch sighed, drying his hands off on the towel. "What I just don't understand is..."

He'd been stepping out of the bathroom when he suddenly stopped, swaying, and Suzaku caught hold of him before he could fall, heart beginning to race in panic.

"Oi, Lelouch - hey.  _Hey!_ "

Half-lidded violet eyes looked at him blearily.

"Oh no. No no don't you  _dare_  -"

His eyes slid shut and Lelouch went limp in his arms.

" _Shit._  ...C.C.!"

* * *

Marc LeBlanc was a pleasant-looking man in his mid-forties, with a dark brown beard and moustache, and warm brown eyes. The doctor's brow was furrowed in puzzlement, however, as he completed his quick examination of the former emperor. Lelouch hadn't yet regained consciousness and was still fully out, his breathing smooth and even as he now lay sound asleep.

"There doesn't seem to be a problem with the old wound." He informed Suzaku and C.C. as he kept his equipment away. "Or a problem with anything whatsoever, actually, not even food poisoning. Other than his blood pressure, of course - which  _is_  low, as you've said - but then the measurement isn't too alarming or too much further from his usual levels. So if he hasn't been in pain or discomfort..."

"None that we know of." Suzaku frowned. "Because he seemed just fine yesterday... just a little tired, that's all."

"Well then, I doubt it's much cause for worry. I could take a blood sample to be sure, and I'll give you a call once we're done analyzing it. If we find nothing, and in the rare event that these... symptoms somehow persist or worsen, we'll bring down some of the more complicated equipment to do a comprehensive scan. But otherwise, he should be fine soon enough, because it doesn't appear to be anything very severe... perhaps a sudden shift in tolerance for certain foods, at the most.

"As for that blood pressure level, I'm sure you know what to do, don't you?" LeBlanc gave him a knowing smile. "Tell him to get enough rest, and more iron in his diet."

The smile Suzaku gave in return was one of relief. "Right. And that's great... Thanks."

Over in the corner where she was seated, C.C. pulled Cheese-kun closer to herself. "Well, I suppose all that fuss was for nothing, then."

"Thankfully." Suzaku managed another small smile. Lelouch had been right, then - it wasn't really anything serious after all.

And yet... Well perhaps he was being paranoid, but there was now a creeping, uncomfortable feeling - a premonition, as he would later realize - that it was going to turn out to be something entirely different.

What it was, though, he hadn't the faintest idea.

He started to worry when LeBlanc called soon after, saying that they'd found something peculiar after running a few tests, and that his wife would like to go down to take a look.

He started to get confused when he saw that Julianna LeBlanc had brought an entire case of her obstetrician equipment with her.

And by the time Julianna had explained that "I'm here because we've actually found an unusual amount of estrogens in His Majesty's blood", Suzaku was very, very confused, somewhat amused, and at a complete loss as to how to react or what to think.

"Well, he does possess quite a few...  _feminine_  traits," C.C. mused, smirking.

Julianna smiled briefly, shaking her head as she adjusted her neat bun of dark blonde hair. "That's not quite all. The levels of progesterone and estriol present are levels usually seen in women during... pregnancy. There also appears to be... human chorionic gonadotropin, which is usually generated by embryos, and is what we use to  _test_  for pregnancy."

"Oh, my." C.C. curled up on her chair, looking more and more tickled by the moment.

"Wait, wait." Suzaku interrupted, one hand already going to the side of his head in distress. "Are you  _actually_  trying to say that -"

Julianna's eyes grew serious and thoughtful. "My knowledge on the research the empire was conducting into Geass is limited, but I've heard that aspects of those who hold the Code may sometimes be passed on to those who receive the power of Geass from them... memories, most commonly... and sometimes certain other abilities. And as preposterous as this is going to sound, Marc and I have both seen our share of queer events having to do with Geass in the Britannian Royal family, so yes, what I am  _indeed_  suspecting here is... that is, especially if His Majesty and you, Sir Kururugi, have been..."

She didn't finish the sentence.

C.C. had grown quiet, clutching Cheese-kun close to her chest.

Suzaku had never felt more confused in his entire life. "But...  _how_  is that even...?"

"It  _could_  be possible." C.C. murmured, chewing slightly on her lower lip. "I've never seen anything like that happen in all these centuries, but if that ability of mine as a woman  _was_  indeed granted to Lelouch as well when I granted him the Geass, and dormant within him..."

"Well, it would certainly explain everything you described. The frequent vomiting, the tiredness, and the dizzy spells - especially since there's likely been a significant shift in his hormone levels. On top of being the usual symptoms of pregnancy, these could be a result of his body adapting to the changes, to keep from rejecting the fetus."

"Hang on..." Suzaku sat forward. "So if this...  _ability_  was actually passed on to Lelouch through C.C., then what are the chances that it's actually C.C.'s... uhm..."

C.C. shook her head. "I don't think  _that_  is possible. Abilities which are inherited become the receiver's own. Geass, for one, manifests differently in each user when granted. Memories are perhaps the only copied transference from a person who holds the Code to a receiver of the Geass. And the rest..."

"So if a womb has indeed developed within him, it'd be acting as a female form of his own reproductive system. Which...  _would_  make it his and your child." Julianna explained to him calmly. "And of course, this is assuming the nature of your relationship is such that His Majesty has been... on the receiving end...?" She raised an eyebrow subtly in question.

"Well he isn't  _always_  the - I mean, he does still... sometimes - but he can't really... so I - we, ah... yes. Yes." Suzaku settled on the answer with a deep blush.

Julianna pressed her lips together in an even line and nodded, not seeming too surprised. "A likelihood exists, then. Then again, all of it is just a theory I have. I can probably explain things in further detail later, but for now, we'll need to confirm if these suspicions are valid in the first place."

Suzaku could feel his mouth going dry. "Do we... have a way of knowing for sure?"

Julianna gave him a small, reassuring smile as she opened her case. "There's a reason I drove up here, after all." She took out a silver hand-held device and switched it on. "This has been used in our practice for slightly over three years now. It's capable of telling in a single, harmless scan if there is new life present in a patient's body, and if all is generally going well. So if I may...?" The doctor asked, looking to Suzaku for approval.

Suzaku swallowed and nodded.

Lelouch himself was still blissfully asleep and unaware of all that was going on, oblivious to the scanner as the obstetrician positioned it in the air slightly above his belly, and moved it slowly over his torso.

C.C. leaned forward in curiosity, and Suzaku grew more and more apprehensive by the second, clutching the edge of his own seat next to the mattress.

Three seconds after the scan... four... five -

And the light at the corner of the device blinked an unmistakable green.

The doctor herself seemed a little disbelieving and utterly fascinated as she stared down at the scanner, at the sleeping Lelouch, and then back again to what the scanner had confirmed.

"Well, it seems I was right. His Majesty is indeed... perfectly and undeniably...  _pregnant._ "


	2. Two

Two

"You're awake," Suzaku smiled.

Lelouch groaned softly in response, reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose. "How long have I been out?"

"About four hours." Suzaku got up to pour him a glass of water as he slowly sat up. "How're you feeling?" He asked gently.

"Better." Lelouch took the warm cup from him, smiling at the affection in his green eyes. "Still somewhat nauseous, I think, but better."

"There's some freshly made chicken stew if you're hungry... though even if you aren't, you should eat something, to make up for all that you've puked out."

At Suzaku's words Lelouch smirked knowingly over the edge of his cup. "LeBlanc was here, wasn't he?"

"Well... both LeBlancs, actually."

Both his eyebrows arched upward as he set the water back down on the side table. "It can't have been that serious."

Suzaku shifted in his seat beside the bed. He'd had the couple of hours spent watching over Lelouch and waiting for him to wake to wrap his mind properly around the full situation and its impending consequences, but there was still a heavy uncertainty about it all, especially since he wasn't sure of exactly how Lelouch was going to take the news. "Uh, well..."

"Oh good, you're awake." C.C. waltzed in, Cheese-kun in her arms. "About time, too.  _Suzaku_  dearest has something to tell you." She settled herself once again into the chair on the opposite side of the bed, where she'd been earlier, a triumphant smirk now on her face.

Lelouch raised a questioning eyebrow in his direction, and Suzaku could tell from the familiar glint in C.C.'s eyes that she wasn't going to miss this for the world. So he took a deep breath, grasped one of Lelouch's hands, looked him in the eye, and said,

"Promise me... promise me you won't freak out."

Lelouch blinked. "What could possibly -"

"Just... promise me you'll try not to, okay?"

"Very well." Lelouch looked at him skeptically. Suzaku was visibly uneasy. "Now what is it?"

Another deep breath as Suzaku tried to keep his voice as steady as possible. "You're not actually sick, Lelouch... You're...  _really_  pregnant."

There was an incredulous scoff. "What is this? Some kind of..." Then it dawned on Lelouch that if it really  _was_  a silly prank, Suzaku would already be laughing.

"Please tell me you're joking."

Suzaku gave a strained smile. "I'm afraid not. Julianna ran a scan on you, Lelouch - it's positive."

"But that's..." Lelouch frowned, deep in thought as to just how on earth and the World of C - " _C.C.!_ "

"Hey, don't look at me." C.C. replied, though the corners of her mouth had quirked up once again when she saw how fast he'd come to his conclusion. "Few men I've granted Geass to actually do go around having sex with other males."

"And Julianna suggests..." Suzaku flushed a little despite himself. "It could be -"

"- the constant presence of sexual intercourse with Suzaku in such a manner, as well as his  _reproductive cells_  in your system, which then triggered your body's inherited ability to react the way a female body would - an ability which would otherwise have remained dormant until your death." C.C. quoted, summarizing the doctor's explanation airily. "Basically, thanks to me, and obviously Suzaku, you've now got yourself a perfect little functional womb of your own."

"And so it...  _is_  an actual child you're carrying." Suzaku finished haltingly.

"In any case," C.C. stretched out in her chair with a gleeful smile, clearly delighting at how all of this was playing out. "It's rather rare that such aspects get passed on with the Geass in the first place. In fact I've not known or heard of this particular ability being granted ever before, so consider yourself very lucky."

Slowly, very slowly, Lelouch covered his face with one hand. "This," he muttered, "is a dream. This is a bad dream. A mere conjuration of my fevered mind. I am going to wake up, and this is all going to have been a dream. Just a dream, and nothing more."

Arthur, who had wandered into the room, leapt gracefully onto the covers and meowed.

When Lelouch opened his eyes to find Suzaku, C.C., and the cat still staring at him, he took a deep, steadying breath, then buried his face in his hand again.

"I don't believe this."

Suzaku swallowed, then took his other hand into his own, grasping it tightly. "Look, Lelouch... I'm sorry. I mean, I know no one could've expected this, of all things, but I... This is still my fault, in a way. But I'm going to be with you throughout this regardless, okay? And no matter what decision you make - even if you want to get rid of it, I -"

" _Idiot._ "

Suzaku stopped his guilty speech with a half-questioning, half-afraid look, suddenly appearing much like a little puppy who didn't quite understand if he was being punished, going to be punished, or not going to be punished at all.

"You really are an idiot." Lelouch sighed, a wry smile forming on his lips. "Why would I want to  _get rid_  of it? That is..." He paused and swallowed. "This is obviously going to take some getting used to... though I suppose we could always do with some new company around here. And we're not in any way ill-equipped." He interlaced their fingers, violet eyes soft. "Besides, if it's indeed true, then... it's our child, isn't it? So as strange as this whole thing is... unless there are severe complications which will arise,  _of course_  we're going to have it."

Suzaku's face brightened and broke into a look of relief - and probably delight as well. "Lelouch..."

"And don't worry," Lelouch grinned. "You can be assured I'll think of a way to torture you for this later."

Suzaku's smile disappeared.

C.C. chuckled. "Poor Suzaku. He's already been sitting there fretting and worrying himself sick over you the whole time, you know. Other than making stew, of course."

Lelouch smiled, softening. "I  _am_  still trying to come to terms with the situation myself." He placed a slow, uncertain hand on his abdomen. "Given what you've said about Geass and abilities, this isn't entirely...  _inconceivable_ , but there are quite a few more questions I now have for Julianna."

Suzaku nodded. "Everything seems fine so far, but the doctors will be over tomorrow to give you a more thorough check-up - while you're awake, of course. I think we'll all have many more questions anyway." He gave Lelouch's hand a gentle squeeze. "For now though, your orders are to eat enough and rest well."

"Yes, yes. Of course. And you're still going back to Nunnally, once the weekend is over. I'm not having you fuss over me like this for the entire week."

Suzaku grinned. "As you wish, Your Majesty, as long as you agree to have Sayoko come down to - " Then he realized - "Nunnally. What are we going to..."

"She'll be delighted." said C.C.

"She will indeed." Lelouch's smile was small and knowing. "But not a word just yet, Suzaku. At least not till her next visit and... not till we're sure about everything. I don't want her to worry."

"Right."

Arthur meowed again, as if to remind them all that he was being ignored, and Lelouch paused to scratch him briefly under the chin. "He's probably hungry." Lelouch shifted the covers and Arthur jumped back to the floor. "In fact,  _I'm_  hungry, so let's all hope that stew of yours doesn't end up like last night's dinner."

He got up, took one step, and promptly staggered again. Luckily Suzaku had been on the alert, and leapt to his feet to support him, laughing.

"Are you  _sure_  you want me to return to the capital with you in this state?"

Lelouch scowled. "Just get me to the damned stew."

* * *

The rest of the day was fortunate. The dizzy spells faded, and much to his own relief, Lelouch managed to eat without more ordeals in the toilet ensuing.

Other than trying to slowly and properly accept that he was actually pregnant, though, Lelouch soon found (especially after more thought as to just how it was even possible) that there was something else he was a little worried about.

...Okay, so perhaps he was more than  _just_  a little worried.

There was nothing when he checked himself over in the shower, thankfully - no effects, no physical...  _alterations_ , - so far, anyway. And logically speaking, he  _did_  doubt this was going to affect...

Then again they'd all certainly realized how anything was indeed possible with Geass, and so the possibility couldn't be ruled out entirely just yet.

Which was obviously more than just a little worrying.

But Lelouch decided to mention none of this to Suzaku or C.C., and forced himself not to panic, because panicking right then would not be an elegant thing to do and would make him look silly.

Yes, he'd simply have to ask the doctors calmly about it once they came over.

And luckily, morning arrived fast enough. There was a fair bit of equipment that the doctors had brought with them this time, though in a little over an hour, they'd managed to set everything up, run an advanced, detailed scan of Lelouch's internal organs - which was also projected on the screen for everyone - and determine the following:

\- That there was definitely a uterus which had developed in his abdominal cavity (since it had not been there before when they'd first operated on him to save his life).

\- That it was connected to his rectum by a small channel which, Julianna surmised after some moments of study, must have opened during intercourse and was how he'd been impregnated in the first place.

\- That the uterus was functioning normally for a pregnancy.

\- That the baby would also be able to grow normally within him, since the womb had developed in the appropriate location.

\- And, with the help of both the information on the last few times Suzaku had slept with him (divulged, of course, with much embarrassment) and the imaging on the screen, they'd also managed to confirm that Lelouch was exactly eight weeks pregnant with a fine and healthy little fetus.

It was a small, magical moment then - seeing the tiny form of life on the screen in front of them, with its oh-so-tiny but steady heartbeat - and in that moment both Lelouch and Suzaku felt any lingering doubts they'd had about seeing the pregnancy through (faint as they had been) immediately dissolve.

"In another four weeks we should be able to tell if it's a boy or girl," said Julianna. Suzaku grasped Lelouch's hand, smiling, and Lelouch smiled back; the boys exchanged indulgent looks and C.C. rolled her eyes while the doctors themselves exchanged understanding smiles.

Once they'd completed the scan everyone settled into more comfortable positions at the dining table to discuss the other important matters.

"Well, I think we're definitely going through with this," Lelouch caught Suzaku's eye as the latter was pouring tea for the doctors, and smiled. The child was fine so far, and most pregnancies, from what he knew, held better chance once they were past the third month - which wasn't far away. Now that they knew there was no likelihood of any major complications despite the circumstances...

The doctors smiled warmly, and Julianna nodded. "We'll be happy to assist you in any way, as always."

Lelouch folded his hands and rested them on the table. "I'm assuming, if all goes well, that we'll have to deliver it by a Cesarean."

"It'll have to be so." She affirmed. "After all the male body was never built for this, and even the connecting channel which has developed appears to be too small to act as a way out... though it certainly seems to have functioned well enough as a way  _in_." She grinned pointedly toward the end of her statement and the young men flushed.

"There won't be problems because of his previous injury, will there?" asked Suzaku.

"None," Marc reassured. "He's healed quite well, compared to how complicated things would've been twenty years ago."

"You may want to be prepared for some other minor problems during the pregnancy, though." Julianna continued. "Like I mentioned, his body wasn't originally built for this, and there's only a certain extent to which it can adapt itself. Bone structure, mainly..." She looked at Lelouch. "Backaches may get worse when you're trying to balance the weight in the last trimester, especially. Then again, almost all women experience similar trouble... and you do already have a slightly more female frame than most males."

"And I'll be here to help," Suzaku said softly, in earnest. Lelouch gave him an acknowledging smile.

But now, speaking of adapting... it was also probably as good a time as any to ask his most deeply burning question: "On the subject of my ability to adapt... There's no chance that having a female reproductive system would actually -"

...Okay, perhaps it  _wasn't_  a very good time to ask that question after all, because Suzaku chose that very moment to have a sudden, related epiphany, straightening in his seat next to him and asking -

"Will he be able to breastfeed?"

There was silence for about two seconds. C.C., who had been sitting quietly at the other end and daintily sipping her tea all the while, nearly spat it out.

"...Suzaku." Lelouch gave him a very calm, very deadly grin. "Don't make me murder you in front of these poor, kindhearted souls."

"But I'm just curious..."

Julianna laughed. "I  _can_  answer that question, if you'd like."

Lelouch spread his fingers slowly over his face, chagrinned. "...Even if it were possible, I doubt that's something I'd want to do."

"Well... it certainly  _is_  possible," offered Julianna.

"All men do possess mammary glands as well," explained Marc. "Theoretically, with enough physical stimulus - which is the baby suckling - one would eventually be able to produce enough milk to nurse."

"But of course, the pregnancy itself and the presence of certain female hormones would make things a lot easier. And you happen to already have this." His wife smiled.

"Wow." C.C. took another calm sip of her tea, eyes gleeful. "It looks like you're actually more of a perfect wife than we've all realized, Lelouch."

Lelouch glared at her and was about to open his mouth with a sharp retort when Suzaku interrupted. (Again.)

"Wait - wouldn't this mean that he'd also develop..."

"Merciful Gods." Lelouch sank his head into his hands. " _Suzaku!_ "

"What?" He asked innocently. Over in the corner, C.C. snorted.

The doctors were chuckling. "I'd say it's actually unlikely," Julianna finally replied, laughingly. "Size doesn't determine the amount of milk - the amount of suckling does. But then, neither does this affect size. Some women experience breast enlargement during pregnancy itself, but then since you're male and there's considerably less mammary tissue... I doubt you'll have to be concerned.

"Likewise, just because you now have a female's reproductive system within you doesn't mean you're going to turn into one... if that was what you were worried about earlier."

"Yes," Lelouch heaved a sigh of both relief and moderate embarrassment, one hand still held to his head. "It was." He paused. "All the same, I shall have to give this nursing issue some thought. And that's provided we -"

"Don't worry Lelouch," Suzaku smiled, teasing. "I'll still love you anyway - it doesn't matter if you have breasts or if you're female, male, or in between."

"You - !" Lelouch was left speechless, almost spluttering as the heat rushed to his face, and Suzaku nuzzled his hair and laughed.

Even Marc still seemed slightly amused. "Well, your other organs  _are_  all still distinctly male and... functioning as they should, aren't they? I mean, just to be doubly sure - "

"Yes, yes." Lelouch answered, already covering his face again, now in pure, unadulterated embarrassment.

C.C. grinned. "I always  _did_  wonder if there were issues with that, actually."

"Oh no," Suzaku responded, a little too helpfully - "He's perfectly fine when we..." - and belatedly realized the intimate nature of the topic and blushed slightly. "Um, yeah... Other than stamina sometimes, of course, but I mean... he doesn't have a... or at least, he still doesn't, so I'm sure - "

"Yes, Suzaku, thank you for so very informatively educating all of us." Lelouch interrupted pointedly through gritted teeth.

"Ah, but now are you sure he's always  _been_  male?"

Lelouch made a mental note to scream at C.C. later; the wretched woman was clearly having a field day. And Suzaku, of course, still hadn't gotten it and  _had_  to go fall for the bait -

"Well...  _yes_... I'm pretty sure he... Because when we went swimming when we were ten - or well,  _I_  went swimming while Lelouch was more or less floundering and so I had to -"

"That's quite enough," Lelouch ordered sharply, cheeks flaming despite himself. " _Thank you_ , Suzaku, I don't believe we'll be needing anymore confirmation from you on this matter."

Holding back her laughter, Julianna smiled reassuringly at the former emperor, who was now looking very, very flustered and very much less composed than he usually was. "You  _won't_  turn into a woman, Your Majesty, there's no need to worry."

"So he won't be losing his -" Suzaku's mouth popped eagerly open again before he could stop himself, and Lelouch let out a mortified, exasperated wail.

" _Gods!_ " He seethed, burying his face back in his hands. "Suzaku, I'm going to -"

"...Puke?" Suzaku frantically scrambled for the paper bag they'd set nearby, just in case. "Do you need me to help you to the bathroom or -"

" _NO!_ "

Suzaku blinked in confusion as C.C., unable to contain herself any longer, covered her face with Cheese-kun and shook with silent laughter. "Then... what is...?"

"Never mind.  _Never mind._ " Lelouch made a large effort to stop himself from trembling, took a deep breath, and tried to will all thoughts of mercilessly slaughtering both Suzaku and C.C. out of the way, as well as the enormous rush of blood which had risen to - and was still staining - his cheeks. He should never have asked that question in front of them. He should  _never, ever_  have asked that question...

"Sir Kururugi, I believe you would do well to start being more...  _perceptive_  of what he's feeling," Julianna had a thoughtful finger tapping the side of her face, amused smiles once again on both her husband's face and her own.

"You mean his moods?" Suzaku guessed, reaching to pat Lelouch's back in concern. Lelouch still had his face buried. "...Is this because I mentioned -"

Marc cleared his throat in alarm and made a cutting motion across it before he could say more and C.C. let out another snort into Cheese-kun.

"Oh." Suzaku said. " _Oh._ "

"...Yes," Julianna smiled wryly. "And yes, I was also referring to how hormonal changes can cause extreme highs and lows in his moods. You... might not be as lucky the next time."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Lelouch muttered, finally lifting his head to glower at him.

Suzaku grinned sheepishly back. "Sorry..."

"Having a baby can be exciting, but it can also be quite tiring. His Majesty will need all the support you can give him."

Suzaku nodded. "I know." He was at least aware of (and mentally preparing for) that much. Now, what else did he already know about pregnancies...? The morning sickness, the backaches, the mood swings, the food cravings... swollen ankles...

"Getting some books to read will probably be a good idea." Julianna supplied, as if hearing his thoughts. She pulled two considerably thick pregnancy and baby care books out of her bag. "I've brought these for starters - they should be helpful in answering many questions and you'll find some useful advice in there. Though I'm sure you're already aware of the more important things like avoiding alcohol and getting plenty of rest and pre-natal vitamins... especially considering that blood pressure level of His Majesty's." She smiled. "And of course, you can ask us any questions when you have them, too."

"I do have another, actually." Lelouch, having almost regained his composure, interlaced his fingers loosely in front of himself. He could feel the beginnings of a headache (probably another side effect thanks to the pregnancy and Suzaku's utter stupidity), but managed to ignore it for the moment. "...As to how things are going to work anatomically with a uterus, especially after the birth."

"Ah, yes, I was getting to that. Your uterus is functioning as it should in a pregnancy right now, though if the ability passed to you by C.C. is simply the ability to have children, then this would've made it slightly different from an ordinary one, given that it has to adapt itself accordingly.

"My deduction is that, in order to prevent instances of menstrual bleeding, you only ovulate when your system registers a presence of Sir Kururugi's reproductive cells in you, and the lining only develops if the egg is fertilized - since the womb itself  _had_  to have developed first before this conception and... you've never experienced any bleeding from anywhere, have you?"

Lelouch shook his head. "None."

Julianna nodded, making sense of his answer. "We're most probably looking at induced ovulation, then. Perhaps something a little closer to an estrous cycle - exit for the lining would be less straightforward, after all. We'll have to see exactly what happens after the birth, but there most likely won't be any problems."

"So you mean... we can still have more children?" Suzaku asked.

Julianna laughed. "We'll have to wait and see. In theory, the womb would still function, but of course, sperm may not meet the egg every time ovulation happens - and there's always still the chance that the channel may not open again or that he may not ovulate again at all after this pregnancy."

"We wouldn't know for sure; this case is the first of its kind, and we lack the facilities to carry out extensive research." Marc smiled knowingly at Lelouch. "Though I assume Your Majesty wouldn't appreciate being subject to examination and probing everyday, anyway."

"I certainly wouldn't."

"If all goes well though..." Julianna added, "Then yes, there's a chance you'll be able to have more."

A pause. Lelouch touched Suzaku's arm gently. "Let's... take things one step at a time, shall we?"

Suzaku looked at him and instantly found himself sheepish. "...Yeah." There would be plenty of time to worry about more children later. The morning itself was starting to feel a little overwhelming, and Lelouch was already looking tired. Suzaku wrapped an arm around him and kissed his cheek, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. "Are you all right?"

"Just an oncoming headache." Lelouch managed a smile.

Julianna looked at them understandingly. "It's been a long morning."

"The most interesting one I've had in weeks, though," remarked C.C., who was still observing them all with a smirk. Lelouch decided he was suddenly feeling too fatigued to bother passing a biting remark back and simply scowled at her.

"...Well then, if you have no other questions for now you should probably get some rest," advised Marc. "I imagine this whole checkup was quite a bit to take in."

"We'll come up again in four weeks if there are no other problems. Till then though, get in a good diet, give those books a look over, and..." Julianna grinned at Suzaku. "Try not to get under his skin."

"Got it." Suzaku nodded soberly. Even with Lelouch's 'Live' command still on him, there were, after all, many, many ways in which Lelouch could torment him without killing him, and he certainly didn't want to end up in any such predicament.

C.C. simply raised her eyebrows, now harboring her smirk behind her cup once again. Oh yes, this was going to be  _very_  interesting...

* * *

And so the doctors took their leave, and Lelouch went to have a lie down - though this eventually involved a lot more thinking than resting. When Suzaku checked on him and realized he wasn't quite asleep yet he climbed in gingerly with him, slipping arms around him from behind.

"What are you thinking of?"

Lelouch sighed a little. "Everything. But mostly the fact that I'm... going to be a parent. A mother, more appropriately."

As oddly thrilling as it was, the situation had still been unexpected ('unexpected' probably already being an understatement), and now that the fuss was over and his initial fears had been allayed, he'd spent the past ten minutes trying to gather more loose thoughts and fully accept all the facts. Children had never been something he'd actually considered before - and rightfully so. A year ago, two, three years - and even before he'd met C.C. and been given the Geass which had brought everything forward - in the infant stages of his scheming to rip apart the Britannian system, children would have been seen as weaknesses much like Nunnally, should he ever have fathered any - and that in itself would've been out of the question when there'd been so many more important things to grapple with.

But here, now... and... in this way...

Suzaku smiled momentarily at his words, but then nuzzled his hair again, murmuring his admittance. "...I'm still finding it kind of hard to believe, too."

"It won't be, in a couple more months." Lelouch's own smile was wry as he slipped his hands over his and pressed them gently onto his still quite flat abdomen, before adding quietly, "...There's something else we'll also need to remember."

"...What's that?"

"We're getting one more life in danger... if anything happens." If someone happened to find them, or if...

Suzaku moved to plant a kiss in between his shoulder-blades, voice soft but firm. "Nothing is going to happen."

"I know." They'd come this far, after all - the chances were very slim, and he still had the Geass, if all else failed, but - "I'm just... listing all the possibilities."

He felt Suzaku smile again as he squeezed his shoulders. "You're worried, aren't you? I thought worrying was  _my_  job."

"I'm not... worried. Given the situation now, it'll probably be easier for Cornelia to start dressing in  _pink frills_  than for us to truly be in harm's way; I just don't want us to be completely disregarding the - "

Suzaku chuckled knowingly, giving his shoulders another reassuring squeeze. "I know... I haven't forgotten." He said softly. "...But I'll be here.  _We'll_  be here to protect it. And nothing is going to happen anyway. So don't worry... okay?"

"Hhm." Satisfied with the answer, Lelouch let out another small, tired sigh and settled against him, closing his eyes. His head was throbbing mildly, but Suzaku was now rubbing soothing circles into his shoulders, which helped.

"...Lelouch?"

"Mhmm?"

"You're not... angry with me, are you?"

"...For?"

"For... this. I mean, I know you already said we'll go through with this, but... I know it must've been a shock as well, and I wanted to know if..."

Lelouch turned around, opening his eyes briefly again to smile at Suzaku's guilty-puppy face. "I'm not angry." He murmured laughingly. "Surprised, yes, tired, yes, cranky... perhaps I will be, perhaps I won't..." He actually snuggled into Suzaku's embrace. "But I think this is  _wonderful_."

Ah, how Suzaku's heart fluttered then. (After all, guilty as he still felt, somewhat, he had to admit that the thought was both warming his insides and giving him little butterflies as well.) There was a tiny voice in his head which was warning that Lelouch would probably be thinking it a lot  _less_  wonderful once the side effects kicked in good and proper, and another tiny voice which was trying to remind him about what Lelouch had said about torturing him the day before - but it was enough relief for now, to see that he did appear as happy about it as he was.

And Lelouch was already yawning, so he took comfort in the fact that Lelouch wasn't exactly blaming him (for the moment anyway), pulled him closer, kissed him lightly, and tried to enjoy the few hours (or possibly less) of domestic bliss and peace that he probably had left...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you interested in male lactation (yes, it exists) and its possibilities in real life: The Wikipedia entry on it has some good links right at the bottom of the page. See also the extensive article by Jared Diamond here: http://discovermagazine.com/1995/feb/fathersmilk468


	3. Three

Three

As it turned out, the side effects of Lelouch's hormonal balancing certainly didn't waste more time in making themselves well felt.

He'd rested well over the previous day and night, but early on Monday morning, Lelouch still got up on the wrong side of bed. Suzaku had risen earlier, so it meant that the warmth next to him was gone - not that he minded too much, since his own body temperature  _had_  been getting uncomfortably warmer - what irked him was the lack of someone to cuddle with upon waking. And was that... bacon and eggs?

Now, if you were there you would probably have agreed with me that the bacon and eggs Suzaku was busy making in the kitchen actually smelled  _good_. And it should also be made known that Lelouch ordinarily didn't mind bacon and eggs at all, it was just that on that particular morning...

Lelouch took one whiff, gagged, and bolted for the bathroom as his stomach gave the most sickening lurch.

One heave, two heaves, three -  _oh, merciful Gods_  - and  _another_  -

It was awful. And he could  _still_  smell the  _goddamned bacon._

"...Lelouch?" Suzaku was stepping in some seconds later, squatting by his side and stroking his back soothingly as he handed him a mug of warm water with the other hand. Lelouch took it, rinsed the taste of bile from his mouth, then sipped at the water slowly and miserably.

"...There's breakfast, when you're feeling better. I made bacon and e-"

The mere thought almost made him gag again. "No... no, just, no. Don't."

Suzaku looked at his ashen face and winced inwardly. "Are you... okay?"

" _No_ _._ "

It sounded so harsh and bitter that Suzaku flinched. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "I don't  _have_  to go, you know," he said softly. "If you -"

There were many ways in which Lelouch could've told him " _Leave me alone"_ , or  _"No, you have to go back to Nunnally."_ But because he was suddenly upset with a lot of things that morning (Suzaku not being there when he woke, the smell of bacon which had made him vomit horribly, Suzaku not knowing that the smell of bacon had made him vomit horribly, Suzaku being the indirect cause of all this in the first place, the birds twittering merrily away outside while he was here feeling so miserable), what came out was, "If you don't get out of my sight within ten seconds, Suzaku, I swear I am going to  _castrate_  you."

Suzaku gulped and shifted tentatively away from him.

"I'm going to start counting."

Suzaku hightailed it out from the bathroom and the bedroom with such speed, he probably broke his own bullet-dodging sprint record.

C.C., spread idly out on the couch, grinned at his highly disturbed expression as he stumbled outside. "You know he wasn't much of a morning person to begin with."

Suzaku rubbed the back of his neck, troubled. "Are - are you sure you'll be all right with him in this state?" He was already dressed to go (thankfully) - and Lelouch evidently wanted him out of the house right then, but he still felt bad about leaving both him and C.C. alone, especially now with Lelouch in his... delicate condition...

"I've spent much more time dealing with Her Majesty and her hormonal moods than you have in the past three years altogether, haven't I?" C.C. smirked.

"That's... true... but -"

" _What '_ _Her Majesty'_ _?_ " Came a screech from their bathroom, and Suzaku visibly cringed.

"Oh boy..."

"Don't worry," C.C. grinned again. "If it gets out of hand, he can always have Cheese-kun."

Suzaku stopped, stared, blinked. "... _Cheese-kun?_ "

"Never mind, you probably don't want to know." She got up and began ushering him to the door. "I'll be fine. Just make sure you bring back a truly ridiculous amount of pizza for my effort."

"Okay. Just... call me if anything happens, all right? And call Sayoko down if you need any help. I mean... well, you'll probably need to explain the situation to them first but just... well, don't leave him alone in the house..."

"Yes, yes. Don't forget the pizza." She smiled sweetly and shut the door in his face.

Left out on the porch with the birds still twittering merrily away in the trees somewhere, Suzaku briefly mourned the waste of his bacon and eggs (or maybe C.C. would eat those anyway), sent up a quick and desperate plea to the heavens for Lelouch's well-being and the safety of the entire household, and then finally made his way to the car still in complete puzzlement as to just what Cheese-kun had to do with pacifying the mood swings of hormonal pregnant wome-  _humans,_ humans - hormonal, pregnant... humans...

* * *

So Suzaku spent the week generally fretting and worrying some more. There was nothing to be heard from C.C., which was either a good thing or a very, very bad thing, and he was tempted to pick up the phone and call home once or twice mid-week when he had some privacy, but decided against it for fear that it would disturb Lelouch's rest and make him even crankier - or worse.

Nunnally noticed how he seemed a little distracted and asked him concernedly about it, but he was careful not to let his hands near her extra perceptive touch and managed to assure her things were fine, that it actually wasn't something she would be worried about, and that he would let her know in due time what it really was.

In the meantime, however, there was much to be learnt and done. He'd brought one of the baby books given by Julianna with him to pour over in his spare time, and he managed to pick up a ton more from the private royal library. Suzaku studied them diligently, going over pages in curiosity and taking note especially of sections headed  _Advice for Fathers_. By the end of the week, there was an entire pile of books, magazines and manuals in Zero's office, hiding behind his desk.

On Friday evening he finally decided it was safe enough to ring home - after all, he also needed to find out if there was anything in particular Lelouch or C.C. wanted from the supermarket before he made his trip back... (There was, of course, already a special order placed at Pizza Hut for a truly ridiculous amount of pizza - topped with a truly ridiculous amount of stringy, melted cheese.) C.C. picked up the phone first, thankfully.

"You owe me a new Cheese-kun." She reported a little sourly.

But the rest of the week had been mostly bearable on the whole thanks to her  _expert methods_ of dealing with hormonal bastards, she said - aside from Lelouch polishing off the rest of the pizza before she'd had a chance to gobble it first.

"Please don't tell me we need another order for a truly ridiculous amount of pizza," Suzaku said with a touch of desperation. How their wallets - or rather,  _his_  wallet - was going to suffer...

"No, blueberries."

"Blueberries?"

"If there's one thing that's been constant in his peculiar appetite pattern these few days, they're it."

Suzaku discerningly made a note on his list, right below  _Pre-natal Vitamins_.

"Hold it, I think he's awake now. I'll ask if he wants anything else." A short pause and some muffled groggy, grumpy responses later, C.C. came back on with, "Vanilla ice cream."

Suzaku made another note. "Got it. ...Is everything okay there? He sounded quite..."

"Oh, that's just the power of Cheese-kun," she informed him, sounding just a bit too gleeful and pleased and with herself.

"I still don't understand," Suzaku began protesting in confusion.

"Trust me, you don't need to. See you!"

A click, before he could say more. Suzaku put down the phone and sighed. And then he stared at the pile of baby books and wondered if any of them had anything to say about such a bizarre... bizarre... Well, the whole thing was just bizarre.

Perhaps he really was better off not knowing.

* * *

When he finally arrived back at the cottage late the next morning, Lelouch was still sleeping. C.C. delightedly claimed her reward of pizza from his arms and proceeded to secure her treasure safely away somewhere just in case Lelouch's tastebuds decided to call for more pizza again. Suzaku, meanwhile, found his love curled up and dreaming peacefully on their bed - Cheese-kun squished in a cuddle between his arms.

Asleep like this, he was a picture of bliss, and Suzaku found himself smiling both in fondness, and relief that he at least seemed well-rested. Gently, he approached the bed and climbed on to it before planting a soft kiss to his cheek.

Lelouch stirred and turned, his frown at being woken dissolving into a warm smile as he realized who it was.

"Hey,"

"Hey," Suzaku grinned back, amused at the huge contrast of his behavior compared to when he'd last left the house. Whatever Cheese-kun did for pregnant mothers at least seemed to be working. "I'm home -"

He'd barely finished the sentence when Lelouch pulled him down for a long, gratifying kiss.

...Which Suzaku was no doubt enjoying, until Lelouch suddenly bit down on his bottom lip. Hard.

"Ow!" He pulled back with a surprised yelp.

" _That_ , was for leaving me  _alone_  with that insufferable  _witch_  for  _the entire week_."

Suzaku decided to revise his theory on Cheese-kuns for the moment and protested woundedly, rubbing his sore lip, "You chased me out of the house!"

"...I did, didn't I?" Lelouch mused for a moment, then scowled. "You could at least have called or dropped by a few days later."

"But... how was I supposed to know if you no longer wanted to skin me alive?" He was almost afraid to try to defend himself any further.

"True..." Lelouch looked thoughtful as he sat up. "Well, I suppose it's fine then, since you're here now." He smiled, pressing a quick, tender kiss to his lips. "Sorry about that."

Suzaku didn't know whether to start laughing from bewilderment or crying from confusion.

Lelouch looked at him evenly through half-lidded eyes, blinking once, twice. And then something growled, quite loudly, and Suzaku did end up laughing. "Breakfast?"

"Hm," Lelouch stretched briefly, then got up in search of the aforementioned, leaving Cheese-kun behind.

Suzaku paused and looked at Cheese-kun. Cheese-kun stared calmly back up at him. Very calmly. With his/its usual docile, very innocent, very harmless expression.

"Are you going to return that to C.C.?" Suzaku called after Lelouch.

"Don't you even  _think_  about it."

...Alright, so he  _would_  have to get C.C. another Cheese-kun then. Still somewhat perplexed, Suzaku picked him/it up and studied him/it long and hard. "What is it that makes you so special anyway?"

Cheese-kun continued to stare plainly back, and said nothing. Suzaku sighed.

Meanwhile outside, Lelouch had stopped short on his way to the kitchen to stare at the small mountain of baby books now sitting on the coffee table. Suzaku had indeed outdone himself, he thought with wry yet fond amusement. Those would ought to serve for a good couple of months' reading, at least...

He shook his head. Hungry. Food first. Especially while he wasn't throwing anything up. Now, if Suzaku had remembered to stock up on the cornflakes as well... Oh yes, and there was  _ice cream_ , wasn't there? His stomach growled again.

It took two seconds for him to reach the kitchen.

It took another two seconds for Suzaku to come strolling after him, Arthur now in his arms.

And it took only two more seconds before Lelouch was blinking, nothing short of dumbfoundedly, at the dozen different colorful plastic bottles which had toppled out onto the counter when he'd emptied the first grocery bag.

"Suzaku, what -"

"...Pre-natal vitamins?" Suzaku offered a hopeful smile.

"...I can see that."

"Meow," said Arthur.

"They... all seemed necessary, so I kind of... just..."

"- grabbed every single one of them. Yes, I can see that too." Lelouch sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He supposed he'd simply have to give them a look over later and decide which of them to actually start tak- aha, ice cream. His train of thought now interrupted by the sight of the cooler bag, Lelouch reached eagerly for it, only to pull out, much to his disdain, a box of - "...Vanilla."

Suzaku looked up in the midst of setting Arthur back down on the floor (before the cat could bite him again). "Didn't you say you wanted vanilla over the phone last night?"

Baby Book rule number 1: The pregnant mother is always right.

" _Vanilla_ ," Lelouch said, conveniently ignoring his justification, "is the most unbelievably  _bland_ flavor you could have possibly picked up." He set the box down and placed his hands on the table. "Get me Pistachio. Or Rum and Raisin."

Baby Book rule number 2: Never, ever try to argue with a pregnant mother, _especially_ not during the first 3 - 4 months.

Negative Example: Kururugi Suzaku.

Suzaku frowned. "But I don't think there  _was_  any Pistachio... And there's alcohol in Rum and Raisin. The baby book said -"

Ah, yes, the Baby Book did say that alcohol was inadvisable for expectant mothers. But you see, our poor innocent subject, Kururugi Suzaku, also has yet to learn that the Baby Book can sometimes be about as contradictory as the Bible.

So now, as a result of this... very tactful response of his - Lelouch went very, very silent, very, very still - and glowered.

Baby Book rule number 3: If this happens, there are three options. a. Compromise b. Advise her at your own risk c. Refer back to rule number 1.

Suzaku, bless his poor soul, fortunately opted for a cross between a and c. He took a step backward, swallowing. "I'll uh... go get it now."

One and a half hours later, Suzaku was still desperately combing the third supermarket for Pistachio-flavored ice cream (because he wasn't going to let Lelouch have any amount of alcohol if his life depended on it, and because the previous two supermarts also didn't have the alternative option called Pistachio). And perhaps it was just as well that he couldn't find it, because then C.C. rang to say that Lelouch had changed his mind and wanted... Strawberry.

Suzaku bit back a sigh and rubbed a temple tiredly. "What are the chances that he'll change his mind again by the time I get back?"

"Good point," she said. "Why don't you just get a pint of every single flavor? They're smaller, and that way, I can slowly finish up whatever he doesn't want." He could almost see her grinning over the other end.

But it was a valid suggestion, and so Suzaku managed to procure a few more cooler bags and haul twenty-three different pint-sized tubs of ice cream back to the cottage in the car. (Living in exile was turning out to be a very, very troublesome thing after all.)

Lelouch had already eaten something else for breakfast while he was gone, of course, but the biggest reward of having to make that trip back for the mere sake of ice cream was the way his eyes quietly lit up and the way he then blissfully dug into one whole pint each of... Blueberry, and... Vanilla.

Ah, how relieved Suzaku was then that he'd taken C.C.'s suggestion; never mind the fact that the little ice cream spree had cost him considerably and that Lelouch had eventually settled for vanilla again. Lelouch's sheer delight was clear, and there was even a tiny little satisfied hum which escaped his throat as he finally polished off the last spoon, now looking absolutely contented.

"You know, at this rate you're only going to get -"

Suzaku nearly knocked over the table and two chairs in his frantic scramble to clap a hand over C.C.'s mouth.

Baby Book rule number 4: Never, ever make negative comments about a pregnant mother's weight, or call her "fat".

So Suzaku, who fortunately had done his studying in _this_ area, was already shaking his head at her in alarm, desperately trying to make his eyes communicate  _No no no don't say it, DON'T say it, or we're all DEAD._

"Oh lighten up," C.C. smirked, obviously disregarding his look of horror. "I'm just trying to have some fun."

Lelouch blinked unamusedly at both of them, his spoon still poised gracefully in midair. "I know very well what she was going to say, Suzaku."

Suzaku wanted to gulp.

But then Lelouch simply rose from his seat with his own smirk and a light, "We shall see about that, witch," and there was nothing more to that.

...Alright, so maybe the Baby Book wasn't always right about everything. That, or Lelouch was now plotting something devious and horrifically horrible. Suzaku chose to hope it was the former.

Thankfully the rest of the day did pass without  _too_  much mishap - there were only a couple more weird appetite demands, and many more little tiffs with C.C. (which always upsetted Lelouch, since he never quite seemed to win). But the blueberries, Cheese-kun, and cuddles from Suzaku ( _if_  Lelouch was open to receiving cuddles and/or cuddling back) helped to keep things more or less sane. And Suzaku remembered to make sure Lelouch started taking his pre-natal vitamins.

There was, however, to be a small problem in the upcoming week, and Suzaku finally found the chance to tell him about it that night as they got into bed. "...Nunnally has to see to a number of Britannian matters during the conference this week. It's... going to be pretty busy, so we both won't be able to make it down until Friday, or maybe Thursday evening... but we'll be back here as soon as we can. Okay?"

Lelouch looked at him accusingly. "I see. So in other words you're leaving me." The question was half a statement. "Again."

"Yes. - _No,_ I mean - I'd love to be here... I  _want_  to be here - and we both want to be here, I'm sure, but... we can't. At least not for this week." He tucked a lock of raven hair behind Lelouch's ear, already feeling horrible. Here Lelouch needed him and yet there was nothing he could do about the duties he still needed to attend to. The conference had been arranged months beforehand. "But I'll call." He promised earnestly. "Every day. Okay? And... if C.C.'s really that bad you could always call Sayoko down for help and... for extra company, you know."

"Fine." Lelouch sighed. The upset was clear in his voice, however, and he turned around with a huff and refused to face him, already emanating a brooding aura of gloom and unhappiness.

Suzaku reached toward him. "Lelouch-"

"Goodnight, Suzaku."

Suzaku heaved a silent, heavy sigh. This was turning out to be a little harder than he'd thought. After a moment's deliberation he decided to take the risk and wrapped his arms around him from behind, nuzzling into the crook of Lelouch's neck.

"I love you, Lelouch."

"Mhm." Came the disgruntled response. Lelouch didn't move, but then he hadn't tried to push him away either, so Suzaku supposed this was good enough, snuggled a little closer, and let themselves drift off to sleep.

* * *

Sunday, too, miraculously passed peacefully enough, despite another bad bout of Lelouch's morning sickness which onset around noon instead. Other than that the most interesting event was, perhaps, when they eventually called up Jeremiah and Sayoko to explain things - Jeremiah had listened and went silent for a short while, then burst into the heartiest congratulations, booming the news to Sayoko at the same time. And C.C. had her fun watching the young men's expressions waver from embarrassment, to awkward bashfulness, to utter embarrassment again as they attempted to respond with thanks to the delighted exuberance from all three (Anya and her teasing included) on the other end of the line.

And so it was settled - Sayoko happily volunteered to come down to help look after "Her Majesty" during Suzaku's absence for the week, already even offering suggestions:

"I helped change Milly-sama's diapers when I was a young girl. And bathe her, and feed her milk. There is  _much_  I can teach you."

"...Yes... ah... thank you, Sayoko, I'm... sure that would be more helpful than... attempting to learn it from just the books alone..."

Suzaku listened to the remainder of their phone conversation and smiled, reassured.

Lelouch was going to be just fine.

...Oh, but how very wrong Suzaku was. Monday did fly by without a hitch, but Tuesday... turned out to be one of the worst days of Lelouch's life.

"No, I'm NOT all right!" He seethed, almost screaming into the phone when Suzaku rang. "The sunflowers look wilted, the heat is  _terrible,_ the  _air-conditioning broke down_ , and I can't sleep! I can't even  _cook_  anything properly because we don't have enough  _carrots_  from the back garden, and I  _need_  carrots! I've thrown up  _THREE times_ since morning, there was a horrendous, enormous  _spider_  in the kitchen, Arthur killed a sparrow and brought it into the  _bedroom_ , and - I've never felt more horrible in  _my entire life!_  And this is  _ALL HAPPENING BECAUSE_ YOU HAD TO GO AND GET ME  _PREGNANT!_  I HATE YOU.  _I HATE YOU!_ "

By the time he was done Lelouch was indeed screaming, and Suzaku had (figuratively) shrunk to about the size of a pea on the other end, since he had been shrinking back with each complaint, flinching more and more and now overwhelmed by the tidal wave of Lelouch's distress.

"Lelouch..." He finally managed, cringing, "Calm down-"

"Oh, I will. Once I get Jeremiah to cancel that command so I can murder you. Slowly. With big, nine-inch long nails. Do you know  _how many times_  I've had to visit the bathroom today?"

He swallowed. How was he to handle this? "Okay, uhmmm... is C.C. there? Or Sayoko?"

"Yes, Suzaku, I'm here." Evidently C.C. had chosen that very moment to snatch the phone from Lelouch. Suzaku made a mental note to thank her later.

"What is going on?" It was difficult to keep the frantic strain from his voice.

"Well, you're looking at how things were last week - times three."

"That's..."

"It's everything Lelouch just said. Possibly worse."

Suzaku winced. "How are you holding up? What happened to... Cheese-kun? I thought -"

"He's grown out of it."

Well. That was fast. "And... Sayoko..."

"- is the only reason why the house is still intact."

Suzaku sank his head into one hand. "That bad, huh?"

A small chuckle. "We'll survive. It looks like her methods are a lot more... direct and practical."

As if on cue, Sayoko's voice was now floating in from the background, stern and firm, though not raised.  _"...Lelouch-sama. Get a hold on yourself, please. A bad day is still_ _no_ _reason to..."_

"Is she  _lecturing_  him?" Suzaku asked incredulously.

"Quite. With a couple of kunais pointed at him, too."

"With  _what?_ "

C.C. snorted. "I was just kidding about the second part."

Sayoko seemed to be finishing what she was saying.  _"... how worried he must be - and you're_ _not_ _helping."_

There was a short pause of silence, and then the sound of Lelouch murmuring helplessly,  _"Gods, Sayoko,_ _I don't know_ _. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Or why I even -"_

"...I think you'd better talk to him." said C.C., and the phone was transferred.

"...Lelouch?" Suzaku ventured.

There was the barest choke. "I'm sorry." Lelouch whispered. "I'm sorry - I didn't -"

"Oh, Gods." Suzaku breathed, his grip tightening on the phone. "Don't cry Lelouch, please -"

It was so mundane a situation and so rare of Lelouch that Suzaku would have laughed, but he knew enough (especially from the baby books) about how emotionally stressful and upsetting the changes Lelouch was going through could be and - ah, shit - he'd heard that sob, soft as it had been. Lelouch was really crying...

"Oh Lelouch..." There was nothing Suzaku wanted more in that moment than to rush back home, gather him into his arms, and hold him. "It's all right..."

 _"Great. Now they're both going to start wailing."_ He could hear C.C. remarking from the other end. Suzaku ignored the high probability of her statement and fought down the swelling lump of guilt in his own throat.

"Everything's going to be fine, you'll see." He tried soothing gently. "It's normal, it happens. Almost all women -"

"I'm  _not_  a woman!"

...Shit.

"I know, I know, of course not, I meant -" Suzaku ran a hand through his hair. Something occured to him then and he checked his watch. Time. There was still a little less than two hours before the next meeting would start, if he could just -

"Look. I'll come over right now, okay? It won't be for long, but at least -"

"No," Lelouch's response was almost immediate. "No." He managed again, firmer this time despite choking back another sob. "Stay right where you are - that's an order. I'll... I'll be fine."

Suzaku pressed the phone closer. "...Are you sure?"

A deep breath. "Yes. I'm just... I probably just need to rest. My mind's a mess. My body's a mess. I'm not even sure why I..."

"I mean it, Lelouch. I could always get Schneizel to pose as Zero in case I don't make it back on time..."

There was a sigh, though he was almost certain Lelouch had smiled at that image. "If you walk through that door right now, Suzaku, I can't guarantee you'll be walking out of it again anytime soon."

Suzaku chose to take the positive interpretation of that statement over the more morbid one. "Okay, okay..."

"Don't worry too much about me. I'm in good hands."

"...I know, I..."

"And... I don't hate you." He said softly.

Suzaku almost laughed, if it weren't for the sudden welling of tears in his own eyes from the whole mixture of guilt, relief and longing which flooded him. "I know that, too." He whispered.

And perhaps Lelouch had smiled again then (he hoped he had) but then "Sayoko wants to speak with you."

"Okay."

And Sayoko took the phone and poured out a flurry of steady reassurance. "Don't you worry about a thing, Suzaku-sama," she said, and told him she would see if she couldn't get more carrots from a nearby farm, if Jeremiah couldn't come down to see to the air-conditioning problems by the end of the day, and that she would fix Lelouch a nice comforting bowl of chicken soup once all of this was over.

Suzaku didn't know where they would be without her and how else to thank her.

"By not worrying," Sayoko laughed. "Now go get yourself back to work. He's going to be fine."

"All right," Suzaku managed a smile. "Tell him I love him."

"Of course, Suzaku-sama."

And so they said goodbyes, and Suzaku clicked off the phone, sighed, and picked his Zero mask back up. And  _tried_  not to worry too much.

He still decided to call again at night for good measure - just in case.

* * *

Lelouch vi Britannia, 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire, former world dictator, the man who made the impossible possible (now with added irony to this title) - was  _not_ this pathetic. Oh no, absolutely not. He'd taken over whole countries, he'd  _destroyed and recreated the world_ , and there wasn't a single soul on the planet besides Schneizel who could still beat him at chess, he was sure, so there was absolutely  _no reason_ why he had to be waited on hand and foot like an invalid - even though he'd probably thrown up an entire continent right after breakfast. Again.

Thankfully Sayoko had given in to his insistence this time and left him to his devices in the kitchen - and rightfully so, since he was still perfectly capable of preparing lunch (and a good, appetizing one, mind you)  _all by himself_. Oh yes, pregnant or not, he certainly wasn't going to sit there like some pitiful weakling and let everything else be done for him. It did awful things to his manly pride. He wasn't that pathetic and he would sure as hell _prove it_ , goddammit. Lelouch chopped the additional carrots they'd managed to obtain the day before so hard and fumingly fast, he almost sliced off part of his finger. Just _almost_ , of course - he was too refined for an accident like that to actually happen.

...In fact, the only reason why it had come so close to happening was probably because he  _was_  still feeling tired, because it had been difficult to fall asleep in the heat, and Jeremiah was only able to come by and fix the air-conditioning later that day, and even though Suzaku's extra call the night before had made things a little more bearable, it still didn't help the horrid, weakening sensation that the bad round of morning sickness had brought about, and -

No, no. This had to stop. Yesterday had been bad enough. He  _could not_  be this  _pathetic_. He wasn't going to allow it.

Lelouch set down the knife and steadied himself. He'd survived the previous week, and the weeks prior to that - and he  _would_  survive this one now, no matter how much worse things seemed to be getting.

Right. Now, there were noodles to boil, and -

There was what seemed like a tiny explosion when he turned the knob of the stove, and Lelouch found himself waving the cloud of smoke away from his face, coughing a little.

"Lelouch-sama, are you all right?" Sayoko's voice now, in slight alarm.

"Fine. Just a little trouble with the..." Oh Gods, there had  _better_ not be anything wrong with the  _stove_  now, or he was going to -

He turned the knob again. Nothing. No spark, no flame, no...

There was, however, the faint smell of... Lelouch thought for one second, then knelt, yanked open the cabinet below the stove where the main gas valve was located and reached in to check the clamp. No, everything seemed fine. He got up and examined the burners, the portholes... which also didn't appear to have problems.

He tried getting a flame yet again. Still nothing happened.

Lelouch shut his eyes, inhaled - and let loose a ruthless slew of the most colorful vocabulary in both the English and the Japanese language, flawlessly strung together in the longest curse ever known to mankind.

Sayoko came over, took in the situation in three seconds, and instantly placed firm hands on his shoulders. "Out of the way. There could be a gas leak somewhere, and you don't want to endanger yourself or your child, no matter how low the risk may be. I'll handle this."

And much to his inner dismay, Lelouch found himself powerless to argue.

Sayoko thus sent him off to rest while she checked for clogs and cleaned everything out just to be doubly sure. Ten minutes later, she reported that she still couldn't find the problem despite her best efforts, and that they would probably have to wait for Jeremiah to see if he could repair the stove as well.

Lelouch nodded defeatedly, head propped up with one hand on the armrest of the couch where he was reclining. "I expected that." With any luck, they'd probably have three more mishaps before the day ended and he was going to make it out of everything with the worst headache ever.

"We could still fix you a salad, if you're hungry. Or if you'd like, it'll only take about half an hour for me to get some fresh fish from the river. I am familiar with the ones which are free of mercury and rich in Omega-3 and I could always make you some sashimi -"

His hand flew to his mouth as his stomach turned in protest. "No... no, thank you Sayoko," he managed weakly, "but nothing raw right now, please." A pause. "...In fact, if you could just... leave me alone for the moment, I think I just need to..."

"Certainly, Lelouch-sama." She said understandingly and excused herself, and Lelouch was grateful that C.C., too, was somewhere else in her room or outside and not making things even worse for him with her snide remarks.

He groaned quietly and rubbed his hands over his face. Whatever his hormones were doing to balance themselves inside him had probably escalated this week and clearly wasn't giving him an easy time. However did women manage? With the vomiting, the trouble sleeping - and when everything else just seemed to keep going wrong? He'd spent the whole of the previous day just wanting to  _cry_ , (and he had, over the phone) and he was now feeling the same way all over again. It was a miserable, pathetic,  _helpless_  feeling - and the circumstances didn't serve to help - but he wasn't going to let the previous day's events repeat themselves, at least.

A moment passed. Lelouch took a deep breath, closed his eyes - and, for the first time since finding out that he was pregnant, spoke to the unborn child within him.  _I can't keep up like this, my little one... So please,_ _please_ _... if you can - let things settle in there... For both our sakes..._

Of course, he doubted that the fetus would understand or even pick up on his desperation in any way, but it did help him feel like he had a slightly firmer grasp on things, and Lelouch let his hand linger gently on the warmth nestled in his abdomen, a small smile now gracing his lips.

Here was the cause of all his problems, and yet...

The phone rang then, breaking him out of his musing, and Lelouch reached over and answered it, already knowing who it would be.

"Yes, Suzaku."

A tinkle of laughter. "It's me, Brother."

Ah. "Nunnally," he felt a warm smile spread across his face almost immediately. "How goes your conference?"

"Very well," she answered enthusiastically. "We have many new things planned for the motherland. I'm in Zero's office now, taking a break with Suzaku. And I'll be able to come back with him this time, once all of this is wrapped up!"

"Is that so? I'll look forward to seeing you both, then."

She seemed to pause. "Brother, are you all right? You sound tired."

"...I am, just a little." Lelouch admitted. "But it's nothing you need to be worried about." He considered things for a moment and eventually explained, softly, "Suzaku and I have something special to tell you when you get back, that's all."

"Oh?" He could almost see her eyes twinkling. "Now you'll have me all busy wondering what that is... Such suspense!"

Lelouch managed a light laugh, and she laughed back.

"I'll leave you with Suzaku now, then. I have to go see to some other matters outside... I just wanted to hear your voice again for a bit."

Lelouch smiled. Hearing  _her_  voice had lifted his own spirits a little. "I miss you, too."

Over on the other end, Nunnally smiled as well. "I'll be looking forward to your surprise. See you soon!"

Suzaku took the call a few moments later, while opening the door for her as she left his quarters to return to her work. "Hey," he said gently.

"Hey," Lelouch greeted back. Nunnally had been right - he did sound tired.

"How's your day been so far?"

"Moderately disastrous. The stove went up in smoke, and now it won't light. We'll get Jeremiah to have a look at it later when he comes down to fix the air-conditioning."

The  _stove_  now? Suzaku winced inwardly. Lelouch seemed to be handling things better than he had the day before, though, at least... "Are you okay, then? Have you eaten anything? How're you feeling?"

Lelouch sighed. "Tired, hungry and miserable. But I'll live."

Suzaku bit his lip and took a long moment to respond. Never had he wished harder... to be able to just  _do something_... There was nothing he could say which could actually make up for... "You have no idea..." He finally managed hoarsely, "how much I wish I could be there right now."

"Even with the chance that I might still rip your head off any moment?" Lelouch made a weak attempt at joking.

"Even so."

There was a pause, and Suzaku could sense him smiling. "Come home soon." Lelouch said softly.

"I will." He promised. " _We_  will. Things are set to wrap early, so we should be there in time for dinner. I'll call you again if there's any delay." He paused, now smiling too despite himself. "You've already hinted things to Nunnally, haven't you?"

"I have. Don't say any more, though... I want us to be able to tell her together."

"Of course," Suzaku allowed himself a grin.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow evening then."

"Yeah... Take care, okay? Don't - don't do anything silly."

There was a small, disdainful snort. "I won't."

Suzaku smiled. "I love you."

And as expected, there was the abashed, slightly flustered halt. "- Yes, yes. ...Shouldn't you be getting back to work?"

"I really, really love you." Suzaku kept at it, grinning fully now and only wishing he could be there to see the flush which had most probably already crept onto Lelouch's cheeks.

"I am going to hang up, Suzaku."

"Are you?" Suzaku pouted into the phone. "How mean..."

"Well, I can and I most certainly will."

"And yet you're still talking to me..."

"That's -"

He laughed softly. "All right, all right. But I really do."

"...I know." Lelouch finally replied, and Suzaku knew he was smiling again as well. "See you."

"See you," Suzaku returned warmly, and put down his phone just as a knock came on the door. Kallen walked in a moment later, documents in arms and grinning like she'd just won the lottery.

"Some secret lover I should know about,  _Zero-sama_?"

"...Something like that," Suzaku managed an even smile, hoping she hadn't overheard too much of the conversation.

"Oh? Being enigmatic now, are we?" She quirked an eyebrow, still grinning, and set a few sheets of paper before him "These need signing. Honestly, is it actually stated anywhere in the job description that I have to double as your secretary and personal assistant? Because that's what I'm really beginning to feel like instead."

"Perhaps," Suzaku looked up from scanning through the papers, his smile genial. "But then you're the only one allowed in here besides Nunnally, aren't you?" It was the reason why he could sit in his office unmasked, after all.

"Hmph."

There was silence for a few moments as he continued reading through the documents, and then Kallen leaned forward, grinning again. "So, who is it?"

"Hm? Who's what?" He asked distractedly.

"Who was that on the phone, you moron?"

"Oh." Suzaku hesitated, pen poised in midair as he looked up at her again. "Well..." Should he say it? Kallen was curious, and Kallen had asked, and Kallen  _did_  deserve to know - but the timing, and the situation... "Uhm..."

Her mobile buzzed then, and Kallen checked the message before snapping it shut. "Shit, I have to run. Hurry up with those, will you?"

"Right." Suzaku hastily finished signing the papers and she gathered them back up, winking.

"I'll get you some other time. I heard all that mushy stuff and I'm not forgetting it that easily, loverboy."

Suzaku couldn't think of anything to say in response to that, so he simply laughed a little. "See you then."

"Yeah." But then Kallen stopped at the door, turning back to smile at him with an almost wistful look in her eyes. "You know it's... always great to see you smiling again." She said softly.

And Suzaku found himself smiling back. "You too."

* * *

When Suzaku and Nunnally finally stepped in that evening it was with a quiet smile that Lelouch greeted them. Sayoko had only just left, and with the air-conditioning (and the stove) all fixed thanks to Jeremiah's cyborg eye and abilities, the day had been a great improvement over the previous two - but still the week had been emotionally exhausting for him, and seeing them again brought a certain comfort that Lelouch was immensely grateful for.

For a long, wordless moment, he and Suzaku stood before each other - and then Lelouch stepped forth, Suzaku reached, and they wrapped each other into a warm, tight hug - and nothing ever did need to be said.

"Geez, it's only been what, four days?" C.C. picked an imaginary tuft of fur off Cheese-kun, who'd since been fully reclaimed.

"They miss each other," Nunnally stated, smiling as she bent down to play with Arthur.

They did indeed. After another long moment Suzaku eventually drew back, asking softly, "How are things?"

"Much better, I think." Lelouch smiled, already knowing what else he was referring to.

"How is what?" Nunnally looked up curiously from scratching Arthur underneath the chin. Suzaku had, of course, kept the details of the bad week from her so that she wouldn't have worried, though he'd also been asking about the baby - which Nunnally still didn't know about.

Suzaku and Lelouch exchanged looks, and Lelouch smiled at his younger sister. "Remember what I said about us having something special to tell you?"

"Of course," her eyes shone.

And so they settled down on the couch, and C.C. flopped onto the armchair with Cheese-kun, watching them with mild interest. Nunnally was ready to hear it, and Suzaku and Lelouch were finally ready to share the news with her - the only question now was, where to begin...

"So," Nunnally beamed eagerly at them. "What is it?"

"...Well," Suzaku spoke first, eventually settling on, "The thing is... if everything goes well... you're... going to be an aunt."

Her eyes widened in delight. "Oh, you're adopting a child?"

"...No..." Lelouch said slowly, almost laughing and reddening a little. "That's... not quite it. You see, Nunnally, we've belatedly realized that when C.C. granted me the power of Geass..."

And so Lelouch extended his hand to her, just so she could be sure he wasn't lying, and they proceeded to explain - how the ability from C.C. had manifested in him, how he was now pregnant with Suzaku's child, and how they were going to get through things.

A number of expressions shifted on Nunnally's face as they spoke - from mild puzzlement, to surprise, and then finally to pure, sheer delight. And when they were done she remained still for a good long moment before finally whispering, enthralled, "...I don't know... what to say."

"I told you she'd be delighted," C.C. smirked, and Lelouch and Suzaku exchanged smiles, not for the first time that evening.

"Oh Brother... oh,  _C.C..._ "

"The pleasure's all mine." C.C. grinned smugly.

Nunnally looked at both Suzaku and her brother. "I'm so happy," she said softly, already almost tearing. "For both of you... When you first told me you had something special to share I thought perhaps you were going to get married but this... this is..." She pressed her fingers to her lips and made a small, happy sound, burying her face into Lelouch's chest, and Lelouch let out a soft chuckle, stroking her hair lovingly.

"...It's perfect." She whispered. And then there were a few more seconds of happy silence before she looked up at them again. "...Oh but...  _do_  you want to get married? I've been wanting to suggest this for the longest time, but I... didn't want to push things. But..." She blushed a little. "I just thought that this would be a wonderful time to ask..."

"Oh Nunnally," Lelouch smiled, half-laughing. "I'm sure we'd love to, but it won't make any difference. Suzaku and I are already dead on record -"

"Oh but it doesn't  _have_  to be in the state records," She said with twinkling eyes. "I can still solemnize the marriage for you, if you wish for it..." She looked to Suzaku, who now had the most pleasantly surprised, grateful smile spreading across his face.

"You... you would?" He asked softly.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I? You've only had to ask..."

Suzaku and Lelouch found themselves gazing at each other for a full moment.

"...You know, I've actually been wanting to ask that for a long time," Suzaku said quietly. "It's just that I never..."

"Thought it necessary, or possible?" Lelouch smiled knowingly back.

"Yeah." He grinned. "But now if Her Majesty Nunnally is willing to have us married..." Suzaku took a breath and then started getting down from the sofa and on one knee before him.

No, no, no wait - Suzaku wasn't  _actually_  going to - "...Suzaku, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

Nunnally gave a delighted gasp and a huge smirk was already dancing on C.C.'s face. "Oh, how sweet - a proposal."

Lelouch could only gape in a cross between mortification and disbelief. " _Suzaku -_ "

"I know, I know it's a sudden decision," Suzaku took hold of his hand gently. "But... I'd like to vow my commitment and love to you again, Lelouch - and this time, not just as your Knight." He smiled. "And you did just say you'd love this too, didn't you? So..." The smile widened and his green eyes were shining. "Will you marry me?"

He'd said it so purely and gallantly that Nunnally made another delighted little noise, and C.C. let out an amused snort. It seemed this little sharing session had now developed into something far more interesting.

"Surely you're not going to turn him down, Brother?"

"You're practically already husband and wife, after all." C.C. quipped. "Complete with a precious little one on the way."

Lelouch had to admit she was right. Given the way things were between them, it wasn't going to make a very big difference... though he supposed a simple ceremony would be nice all the same. And he had a feeling now that Suzaku was going to keep kneeling there till he said yes. (Not that he could find much room for argument, anyway.)

And so he sighed, allowing himself a wry smile. "How can I say no?"

Suzaku grinned, let go of his hand and leaned up to gently wrap an arm around him and kiss him, and when they drew apart Nunnally was smiling and tearing in pure joy and C.C., too, was grinning. "Will you be wearing a dress?"

"... _No_ _._ "

"Aww but Lelouch... You'll look  _beautiful_." Suzaku coaxed.

"Oh  _yes_ ," Nunnally enthused, reminding him with her eyes shining hopefully, "I have yet to get a chance to see Brother in a dress, too. I wasn't able to see again yet, the last two times..."

"No, no,  _no,_ _no_ _._ " Lelouch was adamant. "Absolutely not. I've had enough of -"

Suzaku had started to pout. His eyes grew large, wounded, and pleading. His bottom lip stuck itself out a tiny bit and everything was just enough to make him look exactly like a little puppy with wilted ears and - even Nunnally was looking a little disappointed now.

Lelouch irrevocably decided that he hated puppies.

* * *

And so they were married, a week later, on a lovely, bright and sunny day, with the sunflowers back in full bloom and the birds twittering happily in the trees.

The bride: Lelouch vi Britannia, 99th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire

The groom: Kururugi Suzaku, his Knight of Zero / Zero

The priest(ess): Nunnally vi Britannia, 100th Empress of the Holy Britannian Empire

The (self-appointed) bridesmaids: Shinozaki Sayoko and C.C.

The honored guests: Jeremiah Gottwald, Anya Alstriem, Marc and Julianna LeBlanc, and Arthur the Cat

Suzaku did remember to get them rings - two simple, silver bands, but the real highlight was the full bridal gown that he and Nunnally brought back for Lelouch to wear, all white and lovely and not too heavy or overly decorated - though it still had little flowers and lace on the egdes... and it was shoulderless.

Lelouch no longer knew  _how_  he'd gotten himself into such a humiliating mess, but he was certainly beginning to regret allowing C.C. and Sayoko to dress him up, and was beginning to completely regret agreeing to wear the bridal gown in the first place.

But it was too late. The door was locked, doom had descended, and despite his many, many valiant last-ditch attempts to back out of things - from adamance and fierce refusal, to growling death threats, to even exploiting his state of pregnancy/hormonal inbalance and allowing himself to go close to tears - C.C. and Sayoko were clearly on crack, and he simply didn't stand a chance.

So in the end he was perfectly dressed from chest to toe in the gown, which they'd tightened and secured around his bosom (or lack thereof), with white silk gloves to match and a bouquet of white lilies. A slender, silver coronet sat atop his hair, holding the veil in place, and Sayoko had  _insisted_  on some light makeup despite his already fair complexion, to further "bring out your eyes," she said with the most mischievous, evil sparkle in her eye.

The women (those horrible, wretched, inhuman excuses for women) had giggled and laughed throughout, and when they were finally done Lelouch stared at his sullen, defeated reflection in the mirror and sighed miserably. "Isn't the wedding day supposed to be a joyous occasion for the  _bride_  as well?"

"Oh, he's finally acknowledged himself as the bride!" C.C. crowed, and she and Sayoko once again erupted into mirthful chortles.

Lelouch took a deep breath and tried his best not to scream or cry. This was for Suzaku and Nunnally, he reminded himself. All for Suzaku and Nunnally, all for Suzaku and Nunnally, all for Suzaku and Nunnally...

C.C. paused to look his reflection over, one thoughtful finger tapping slyly at her chin. "There's still something missing..."

"What now?" Lelouch almost whimpered.

" _Ah_ ," Sayoko reached for the bouquet of lilies and plucked out a stem, smiling. "Here we are."

"Oh no." Realization dawned on Lelouch and he decided it was high time he started getting up from the chair and  _out of the room_. "No no no. There will  _not_  be any flowers in my hair.  _NO flowers in the hair!_ "

But Sayoko held him firmly down, chiding and motherly and still smiling gently. "Now, now, Luluko-sama -"

" _Stop calling me that!_ "

There was a knock at the door. "Brother, we're ready!" sang Nunnally's sweet voice.

"Are you ladies done?" Suzaku's voice came next, cheerful and lightly teasing.

"Yes!" Lelouch said, desperately. Anything,  _anything_  to stop this madness, even if he'd just answered to the term 'lady' -

"NO!" The women chorused at the same time.

" _They are trying to put_ _flowers_ _in my hair!_ "

Outside the room, Nunnally's eyes widened and she put a hand to her mouth to hold back the giggle; Suzaku exchanged looks with her and started chuckling. He was going to look  _lovely_ , Suzaku was sure, but oh, poor Lelouch - he sounded so horrified, and if only he could see the expression on his face right then...

" _Don't_  stand there and laugh at me,  _HELP me!_ "

Suzaku couldn't help it; he chuckled some more.

"-  _Suzaku!_ "

"Come on Lelouch... you know I'd be no match against C.C.  _and_  Sayoko in this..."

"You  _bastard_." Lelouch seethed from behind the door. But then Sayoko was already smoothing back some of his hair and expertly tucking the flower behind his ear, and...

"There we go."

Lelouch gave a thunderous scowl at his reflection, but then found that he looked... less ridiculous than he'd expected to, at least. Sayoko had at least chosen a smaller lily, and it  _did_  look... "Oh, fine... FINE. Just  _ONE_."

It was C.C.'s turn to chuckle. "Don't look so glum now, will you?" She teased, poking his cheek lightly with a finger. "It's your wedding day, after all."

"Some wedding indeed." Lelouch said bitterly, before gathering up his skirts, marching to the door and yanking it open before they could stop him or do even more damage - and coming face to face with the bridegroom and sister who'd been waiting outside to see him.

And yet despite looking like the most disgruntled bride on earth, he was still utterly...

" _Beautiful..._ " Nunnally breathed, her eyes shining with such awe and delight that... Lelouch did feel himself soften and smile a little at her. (All right, so perhaps it was still worth it, somewhat... It was the first time she was seeing him in a dress, after all.)

Suzaku laughed. "See?" He smiled, taking one gloved hand and pressing it lovingly to his lips before leaning in to nose the flower behind his ear and whisper, "You look  _enchanting_." Green eyes were warm when he pulled back to look at him again, and Lelouch was unable to stop the color from flooding his cheeks.

"Shut up."

Sayoko and C.C. came up from behind, beaming and grinning with all womanly pride possible at the results of their effort. "All right, veil's up." Sayoko picked up the first layer of the tulle and brought it carefully over Lelouch's face. "Off with you now, loverboy, and you too, Nunnally-sama."

They were holding the ceremony in the garden, before the flowers, and there were small exclamations of surprise and adoration from their little audience as Lelouch finally stepped out in full bridal regalia, fortunately maintaining his now regained composure with perfect grace as he walked slowly over to where Suzaku and Nunnally were now waiting, smiling bridesmaids in tow. (Because dress or no dress, of course everything Lelouch did had to look fabulous.) And no one would have guessed that any commotion had gone on inside the house just minutes ago.

Suzaku himself looked smart in his black coat, as did Nunnally, in her own white and blue dress. By the time he stood before Suzaku, Lelouch found himself looking at him serenely from behind the veil, and, smiling, Suzaku took his hand as Nunnally led them through their vows.

Knights of Britannia who allowed a royal to claim them for their own often undertook a similar vow - to stay by their royal's side, to lay down their lives for them if necessary, to trust them and to put them above themselves. Suzaku had sworn thus, on that night when there were no stars in the sky; bound himself to Lelouch and to the culmination of the Requiem. For Nunnally. For Euphemia. For their sins. For the world.

But not this day. Not this day, when their lives no longer needed to be broken by the direction the world needed to take.

On this day they were just two men, they were just two boys - best friends who had loved and hated, trusted and betrayed, lived, and taken, hoped, and despaired - and yet come out of it all, wounded but still understanding, still undeniably loving, still  _here_ , binding themselves to each other once more, giving their lives to each other, for better or worse...

And the world... was mending. And they were... why, they were going to have a  _family_ , and there was actually  _new life_  within him, and Suzaku was smiling with soft eyes, and  _everyone_  was smiling, there was just so much joy - when a year ago he would never even have  _dreamed_  they would come this far, never even have considered...

Lelouch realized his heart was suddenly feeling so full that his chest  _ached._

He forgot about the dress, forgot about the fuss, forgot about how flustered he had been - there was only the rapid pounding of his heart, and a sudden,  _overwhelming_  joy... And then Nunnally was pronouncing them married, and Suzaku was lifting the veil and pulling him closer and they were kissing - so softly and gently, and tears were already beginning to slip down his cheeks...

Suzaku looked at him and wiped them gently with a thumb, smiling through his own wet and glistening eyes. "You all right?"

Lelouch nodded, making a hasty, futile attempt to wipe away more tears, and trying not to choke. What was he  _doing_? "Ignore me. I just - I'm making an utter fool of myself." This was ridiculous. It was just a simple wedding, and it wasn't as if this was going to start a completely new chapter in their lives, and yet here he was - "I don't know  _why_  I..."

Suzaku chuckled and tucked his hair gently behind an ear. "Mood swings, probably." He offered with a benevolent smile and leaned in to kiss him again, murmuring, "I love you, Lelouch."

And it was useless. No longer able to keep the tears from falling, Lelouch wrapped his arms around his neck as a soft sob finally escaped him. "I love you too," he whispered, drawing a soft ripple of  _aaawww_ s from all their witnesses, save for Arthur, who purred his own approval loudly.

Nunnally smiled at them, tears already in her own eyes, and Suzaku grinned back, then swept Lelouch off his feet and into his arms, as was tradition. He earned himself a small, startled yelp followed by a heated gaze (despite the tears), and they kissed again as everyone laughed and cheered.

And then there was the bouquet - and the young men exchanged knowing smiles before Lelouch flung it... deliberately at Sayoko, who, as intended, caught it out of reflex and stared at it for the briefest, bewildered second, then smiled at Jeremiah as he wrapped a steady arm around her waist.

Anya gleefully snapped a photo of that moment and called for more pictures, and the rest of the morning went by in an almost heady rush. By the time it was noon Lelouch had lost count of how many photos they'd been forced to take - with everyone, with Nunnally, with Arthur, or just with each other in front of the sunflowers - but tired and happy as he was, there was the realization that he was ultimately still a little fed up with one thing:

"Now can I  _please_  get out of this dress?"

Everyone laughed again.

* * *

Later that evening as they finally snuggled up in bed, Suzaku wrapped his arms around him and kissed his nose.

"How do you feel?"

Lelouch's smile was soft, contented - the morning's little embarrassing ordeal insignificant now that the reality and the quiet joy of the marriage had had the time to settle in. "We shall have to thank Nunnally for that suggestion." He traced Suzaku's chin. "I don't think I've ever been happier."

Suzaku grinned, moving to kiss him on the lips. "You should wear a dress more often. They always look great on you."

"Not a chance." Lelouch responded firmly, though he was still smiling when he returned the kiss, eyes drifting lazily shut.

Suzaku laughed softly, mirthfully, one hand sliding up his arm to clasp his shoulder gently and pull him closer as he slowly deepened it - and Lelouch let him, pressing against him, his feet and ankles tangling with his, breaths warm and shallow when they finally parted.

"...You know we haven't really..." he murmured. "Since..."

"I know." Suzaku murmured back against his lips, smiling and closing his own eyes again.

"Hhm." Was all Lelouch said. But Suzaku felt his smirk, got the message, and chuckled.

It was their wedding night, after all.

And so he kissed him again, long and deep, massaging Lelouch's tongue with his and leaving Lelouch breathless and panting slightly as Suzaku began to trail the kisses to the side of his face, grazing his ear with his teeth, feather-light, before he took the lobe into his mouth and sucked. Lelouch had been about to tug down the waistband of Suzaku's pants but gasped, his hand gripping Suzaku's hip and his throat making soft noises of appreciation until Suzaku relented and moved on, kissing down his jawline to his neck.

Lelouch slipped a hand down Suzaku's pants, fingers finding him and stroking deftly as Suzaku undid the first button of his nightshirt to kiss and lick at more skin, his other hand caressing Lelouch's side and back tenderly. Suzaku was about to thumb the second button through when he suddenly hesitated and looked back up, going almost rigid.

"...Something wrong?" Lelouch asked huskily, kissing him again, and Suzaku tried very very hard not to react at the clever flex of Lelouch's fingers in that moment, because -

"...What if the baby knows?"

That did it. Lelouch stopped, drew back, and looked at him as if he couldn't believe the words that had just come out from his mouth.

"What if the baby  _what?_ "

"What if the baby knows? I mean, I just realized - "

Lelouch almost choked. "The baby doesn't...  _won't_  know. How is that even possi -"

"Kid's intuition! You know... how some can always sense things adults can't? Or how they can...  _feel_  things when they're in the womb... See, the baby books all say sex is safe during pregnancy, but they never actually..."

Lelouch stared. "You can't be serious."

When Suzaku stared back, eyes wide and dead serious and his expression unwavering, Lelouch opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again - and finally managed with an incredulous, "I don't believe this."

"No, really - I mean, the brain has already started developing, right? What if it's going to inherit your level of intelligence? And -"

"Suzaku are you  _out of your mind_? The fuck have you...  _The baby doesn't know!_ Will you just -"

"But what if it  _does_? Or it... I don't know, _feels_ it in some sort of way? No one  _actually_  knows for sure so I'm just saying -"

Very, very calmly, Lelouch took hold of his shoulders, closed his eyes, and said very, very slowly through gritted teeth, "Suzaku. The baby. _Does. Not. Know_.  _Anything._  It  _will. Not. Know. Anything._  I am _barely_   _three months pregnant_. At this stage of development it is  _impossible_  for it to comprehend, process, or even  _sense_  what's going on outside, and even in later stages, there is  _no way_  it will ever perceive the nature of what we're..." He trailed off and opened his eyes to see Suzaku chewing a lip in uncertainty. "This whole theory of yours just isn't  _logical_."

"Well I  _know_  it's kind of ridiculous but I was only wondering about the chances..."

" _Gods_." Lelouch groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "You know what, forget it. Just -  _forget it!_ " He reached and frustratedly adjusted the pillows behind his head before turning away in a huff. "I can't  _believe_  I actually just  _married_  you."

"Okay, okay..." Suzaku reached for him sheepishly, apologetically, planting a kiss behind his ear as he hurriedly attempted to smooth his ruffled feathers. "I said I  _was_  wondering. I get it, I get it, I'm sorry... It's just... I just thought -"

"Good  _night_." Lelouch said stiffly.

Apparently damage control had been enacted a little too late. "Aww Lelouch..."

" _GOODNIGHT!_ "


	4. Four

"There's its head," Julianna pointed at the screen. "And its hands... and here..." She moved the probe to a slightly different position on Lelouch's stomach so the overall image would be clearer, "The feet."

At three months now, things were a lot more distinguishable during the ultrasound scan, and Lelouch smiled as Suzaku, enthralled, squeezed his hand softly. 

Though still small, the fetus could indeed be easily made out on the screen this time - little limbs and all, and its heartbeat, now picked up by the doppler, was in a steady, comforting rhythm. Warmth filled them both and Suzaku pressed a kiss to Lelouch's cheek, eyes shining as he gripped his hand a little tighter.

Julianna smiled at them. "Do you want to know the sex of your baby?"

"- Wait! Don't tell us," Suzaku cut in excitedly before Lelouch even had the chance to open his mouth. "The baby books said it could be more interesting -"

"Will you-" Lelouch had to keep from scowling in protest. " _Enough_  with the baby books!"

Suzaku grinned, sheepish. "Sorry." A pause, and then, wistfully, "I really think it'll be more fun that way, though..."

Lelouch looked at him and eventually relented, sighing. "Very well." Confirmations weren't necessary anyway, because he was confident his guess would be right in the end (and certainly, absolutely  _not_  because Suzaku had developed a certain wide-eyed expression of longing on his face). He caught Julianna's knowing, amused gaze, and managed a dry smile back. "I suppose he does have a point."

The doctor laughed, understanding, and proceeded to make a few more checks on the progress. Lelouch hadn't yet put on a significant amount of weight despite the near doubling of his appetite in recent weeks, though this was attributed to the slim nature of his frame and how the bad rounds of morning sickness were still affecting some of the food intake. The baby was growing healthily, however, and his middle, though still visibly normal, was definitely becoming firmer to the touch.

All was as it should be, Julianna reassured. She scheduled the next month's appointment, and even managed to get in a few teasing questions about how married life had been for them in the past week before finally bidding them well.

...And no sooner had they waved goodbye from the doorway than the debate began.

"So," Suzaku murmured against his neck, hands slipping around his waist from behind. "What do you think it is?"

"Hhm." Lelouch's smile was soft. "A girl."

"Really?" Suzaku grinned. "I'd like a princess, too... but I've got a feeling it's a boy."

Lelouch quirked an eyebrow, scoffing lightly. "A feeling."

"Well what makes  _you_  so sure? Don't start saying mother's intuition." He teased, and Lelouch scowled.

"My predictions have rarely been wrong."

Suzaku laughed, nuzzling the crook of his neck again. "This isn't the battlefield  _or_  the chessboard, Lelouch."

"We shall see then, shan't we?" Lelouch gave him a smooth smile from over his shoulder.

"Mmm," It was Suzaku's turn to hum. Even this way he could now feel the difference in Lelouch's lower abdomen under his palms - a gradual firmness which had been increasing over the past couple of weeks and a sign of the life developing within him, slowly but surely. "...I can't wait." He whispered, still grinning.

"To see who's right, or to see when things finally start to show?" Lelouch smirked.

"Hmm... Both?"

Lelouch laughed shortly, tactfully disentangling himself so he could make his way back into the house (and to avoid more fondling before it became a bit  _too_  much). "I'm telling you, it's a girl."

* * *

Suzaku wasn't the only one eager for things to progress further. C.C. kept a watchful eye on Lelouch's waistline, often with an evil glint in her amber irises, but days passed, and Lelouch was still the same size he'd been before the surprise had even come upon them.

The morning sickness was fading off, however, and Lelouch still ensured a healthy, balanced diet for himself and the baby even though the appetite changes and cravings still visited every now and then. (It was a relief that none of them turned him off any particularly nutritious food for very long.) As for the occasional mood swings which remained - well... there was always Suzaku. (He made a much,  _much_  better Cheese-kun for both good and bad days.)

Married life, as they'd told Julianna, wasn't very different compared to how things had been - the biggest difference perhaps being the liberties C.C. now took with labeling them both "the hardworking husband and the beautiful, perfect housewife." "How quaint," she'd said, and smugly pronounced that they were going to have a household full of adorable little children running around before they next knew it. But things were good, on the whole - Suzaku himself delighted in teasing Lelouch, often asking how his "dearest wife" was every time he returned from the capital, and it was always endearing when he managed to get a blush out of Lelouch despite the latter's attempts to tolerate the affectionate reference with a straight, if not disdainful face.

And then there were the blueberries. Of all the cravings which had sprouted up so far, this one simply had  _not_  waned, and Lelouch had developed a fierce love for them, though he'd never once openly admitted this. Not that there was a need to - he could go through four bowls in a day, his favorite flavor of ice-cream was now blueberry, in the mornings there was bread with blueberry jam, and at night, if he woke hungry - or at any time, in fact - a combination of blueberries, yogurt, some cornflakes if he felt like it, and lots and lots of honey made the perfect snack. Suzaku had shuffled into the kitchen in search of him after midnight, once, and caught him in an adorable state of blueberry-yogurt-and-honey-induced bliss; Lelouch had been spooning the second or third scoop into his mouth with the happiest little sound and lightly flushed cheeks.

He'd been utterly embarrassed, hastily trying to resume his usual expression of nonchalance when he realized that he'd been seen, but Suzaku had laughed, teased lightly, cuddled him and very thoughtfully brought back three large pots of flowering blueberry plants to add to their garden the next day.

Despite all this, however, the growth of Lelouch's belly still wasn't quite yet noticeable, and Nunnally looked at him with slightly laughing eyes, patting it carefully and gently when she managed to visit again over the weekend.

"It must still be a very small baby."

"Perhaps," Lelouch smiled warmly. "But probably not for much longer."

It was common for a first pregnancy to take a longer time to make itself show, though Lelouch supposed he was a little glad things weren't happening so fast - after all, it was hardly flattering to imagine himself with a bulge regardless of how wonderful Suzaku kept insisting he would look.

But then one day it became a little tougher to zip up and button his pants. It was the same thing with his jeans, and if he pulled one of his more fitting shirts over himself, Lelouch realized that it felt a little tighter around the middle too.

"You're getting bigger," C.C. finally got her chance to sing gleefully.

"Be silent. Your over-eagerness to see it happening is simply creating illusions in that twisted mind of yours."

"Denial. I saw you trying to put on your pants."

And there wasn't even room to ask  _how_  she'd managed to do so, because then C.C. began teasing him  _mercilessly_ , and Lelouch could only scowl and blush and scowl and blush some more. This only doubled her taunting, of course, and eventually he resorted to shutting himself in the room and refusing to come out, until Suzaku returned home that evening, crawled under the covers where he was hiding and fussed and cooed and coaxed and fondled till he scrambled out of bed, red-faced, flustered, and utterly scandalized.

And so there it finally was: the little flowering evidence that he was indeed with child.

Suzaku took to touching the small curve at almost every opportunity, often stroking and cupping it as he rested his chin on Lelouch's shoulder with a little sigh of content.

"Not so hard to believe now, is it?" Lelouch murmured to him with a languid smile as they lay curled up one night.

"Hhm," Suzaku breathed his affirmation, pressing their foreheads together to kiss him softly as one hand continued its caress of the gentle bulge that was their growing child.

 _Their_  child. There would be moments where Suzaku would still stop, and marvel with indescribable gratitude at where they were, how all this was even possible - especially after all that had happened... and all that they'd done. Their child was a miracle of their new lives bestowed upon them much like everything else in the past year - the very manifestation itself of how their lives had melded together, half his, half Lelouch's - a precious, precious miracle he had unwittingly fathered and that Lelouch was now carrying within him.

There had never been a thought more humbling and warming, or terrifying and thrilling in his entire life.

Lelouch's fingers rested at the nape of his neck as he returned the kiss, slow and gentle like Suzaku's caresses, and after a moment Suzaku found himself whispering, "Do you think... I'll be able to hear anything...?"

There was a fluttering of eyelids as Lelouch opened them again, smiling as his fingers moved to trace under Suzaku's chin. "Why don't you find out?"

So Suzaku shifted, carefully, and Lelouch moved a little to accommodate him as he slipped the material of his shirt slowly aside. In the moonlight Lelouch's skin was pale, the old scar from the sword wound dark against it but small and less stark now next to the still-gentle rounding of his stomach. Suzaku kissed the scar first, before letting his lips brush across the skin and bestow a feathered, reverent kiss to the womb.

When he finally turned to press an ear gingerly against it, Lelouch's hand was running gently through his brown curls, and Suzaku's gaze upward was met with soft violet eyes.

And there was nothing distinctly baby-related to be heard yet, actually - not by ear... perhaps just the cushion of water gurgling coupled with little noises being made by Lelouch's stomach. He'd just been curious and hadn't really expected to hear much, though, and the smile Lelouch gave him after reading his face told him that he hadn't been expecting anything exceptional either... at least not at this stage.

But everything -  _everything_  was still wonderful, and Suzaku smiled back and turned slightly to brush another kiss on his belly. Then he shifted to find a more comfortable position and closed his eyes as he continued to listen. There was a soft laugh from Lelouch as his fingers continued to lovingly stroke his hair, and Suzaku let the low gurgling sounds and the constant motion slowly lull him to sleep.

* * *

"You all right?" Kallen stopped from her cleaning of the Guren momentarily to peer at their reflections on the polished red metal.

Lelouch himself had slept just fine the night before, one hand loosely cradling Suzaku's head, but Suzaku had woken from his own position the next day with a horrible stiff neck and Kallen had probably noticed this when Zero turned to hand Nunnally her cup of tea, his movement less fluid than usual.

Nunnally smiled at him sympathetically but in knowing amusement, and Suzaku afforded himself the slight roll of a shoulder, wincing a little behind his mask.

"Fine. Just a little stiff." He paused and Nunnally's smile grew, her eyes twinkling with laughter. "I... didn't exactly sleep well last night."

Nunnally had chosen to spend her tea break privately with Kallen while she polished and cleaned the Guren in the hangar, so that confidential topics in their common knowledge could still be talked about at leisure, much like what Kallen laughed and said next, almost fondly, "There was a day Lelouch had a nasty stiff neck too, once. I'll bet it was from falling asleep in class again. It's funny... when you think about it now. He could only manage those stupid gestures of his with one hand."

She stopped talking with a caught smile, suddenly staring too hard at a spot which was already gleaming. One fist slowly clenched in the cloth, and down below Nunnally did not sip her tea.

"How do you do it?" Kallen asked softly, finally turning to direct her gaze downward at the two of them. "When I lost my brother I..." She bit a lip, frowned. "But you both... I see you smiling so happily now you... you look like you've moved on so well - even  _I_  sometimes..."

Suzaku's gloved hand found Nunnally's.

Back up the top rung of the ladder, Kallen was shaking her head as she flopped to sit on it, one leg hanging casually over with the other drawn up. "How did you do it?" She repeated. "Or... is there actually..." Here she paused, looking at them as if searching for the right words to continue, skepticism and uncertainty laced in her voice."Is there actually something that... See - don't get offended, okay, it's just that I've been thinking..."

But Nunnally had already answered Zero's questioning glance with a nod and a smile. This was the moment they'd all subconsciously been waiting for. Suzaku looked upward, cleared his throat a little, and managed, "I think...you may want to come down from there first, Kallen."

* * *

"I knew it." Kallen gripped the arm of her chair with one hand, eyes wide as she whispered, "I  _knew_  it. All this  _time_..."

She'd come down from the ladder, as requested, quizzical and brows arched but with her heart thumping a little harder, because maybe - just maybe her suspicion... But then Zero had said nothing else and instead led her and Nunnally straight to his office. Once the doors had been shut, however, Suzaku had taken off both masks, set his hands on the table, and finally managed to look her in the eye and say quietly, soberly - "What would you do... if I told you Lelouch is alive?"

"How... when?" Was all that came out from her mouth once she found that she could breathe again. A fist clenched involuntarily - she suddenly didn't know what to think - but then Suzaku and Nunnally took turns to explain it all - how they'd saved him, how they'd hidden him, how they were living now.

"We wanted to tell you," Nunnally finished softly, "But we didn't at first because we weren't sure how you'd take to the news. But Brother said you'd be ready when you asked - and now you have."

Kallen realized she couldn't blame them. It was an immense risk they'd taken and with the tensions as they'd been a year ago, they couldn't have afforded to have anyone know. A year ago, she herself couldn't guess what she would've done if she'd found out that Lelouch had lived, despite how certain she'd already been of the true nature behind everything that had come to pass.

But the world was on its current path now because of that. Because of what they'd done. Kallen knew this, had known it deep down from the start, and though she'd borne a quiet admiration for the truth, sometimes the knowledge had left her with a terrible ache, because Lelouch was... or Lelouch was  _supposed_  to be...

But he wasn't. He wasn't dead, and she'd been right - right to second guess Suzaku's and Nunnally's smiles and disappearances,  _right_... And she hadn't realized she would be so fiercely triumphant and  _joyful_  at the news that she'd actually be fighting back tears.

"I understand." She finally whispered, and there were smiles on Suzaku's and Nunnally's faces once more.

To think that Lelouch was actually living suddenly made it feel like she hadn't seen her cocky former classmate and leader in forever. Kallen fully understood the need for secrecy on the matter, but then there was the thought of...

And then something else occurred to her and she nearly burst out laughing.

"That was  _Lelouch_  on the phone the other time, wasn't it?" She gasped, leaning forward to jab an accusing, teasing finger at Suzaku, who blinked for all of one second and then flushed so hard his ears went red.

"I don't... know what you're talking about."

"Oh Gods. It  _was!_ " One look at his expression and Kallen was grinning enormously. "It all makes sense now. I  _thought_  something had been up with you two,  _at least_  when he was ruling. And then you come and tell me you went to the extent of breaking your orders to  _save_  him and...  _Gods_ , you were showering him with such  _sappy_  -"

"Okay, okay, yes... That was... uhm. We're..." Suzaku faltered, swallowed, and looked to Nunnally for help, still blushing. He wasn't actually uncomfortable with anything - Kallen's choice of words and her unexpectedly gleeful reaction were just making things a little more embarrassing to finally admit. And Kallen  _could_  have figured out the nature of what his relationship with Lelouch had become, but she didn't know that they'd actually even married and  _certainly_  wouldn't be aware of Lelouch's... current condition. Suzaku realized he was unsure of how much ought to be broken to her at that moment, but the young Empress simply smiled at him in an indication that it was entirely up to him.

Kallen was already leaning back in her chair, shaking her head but still grinning, though now with a slightly wryer twist. "And some of us wondered why he never seemed that interested in women."

It was a joke, of course; it had been clear to her that Lelouch had at least possessed a measure of care for her, for Shirley, and probably even more so for C.C.. Romantic inclinations, however, had probably always received a much lower priority on his list in light of everything. But then Suzaku... it seemed that, for Lelouch, Suzaku had always been a different case altogether. Kallen had not been privy to the details of their friendship, but it was obvious that it had endured much and ran deep, and there was no telling what they could've been up to during Lelouch's reign as the Demon Emperor.

The thought of it stalled the rest of her musing once again. She really did miss him, that goddamned asshole.

"Can I see him, sometime?"

Here there was something that made Suzaku grin as though trying to hold back a laugh, and he seemed to debate for a moment on something else before he finally nodded. "This weekend, if you like. You can come along with us. ...Oh, and of course -"

"- Make sure no one else is watching my whereabouts, make sure no one else knows, yada yada yada, the whole secret operation drill." She concluded with a smirk.

"...Yeah," Suzaku smiled, and so Kallen looked at both him and Nunnally and grinned.

"Deal."

* * *

Now, after having not seen Lelouch Lamperouge - or rather, Lelouch vi Britannia for one year and thinking that he'd been dead the whole time, the general, expected procedure would probably have been to greet the man with a sort of quiet awe (at the fact that he was alive and standing before you, not at his usual stunningly beautiful appearance) and perhaps even allow yourself a couple of tears at the profound wonder of it all.

This was, however, not how Kozuki Kallen Stadtfeld reacted when she finally stepped into their humble abode that weekend.

For a moment she almost balked and thought that they'd gotten it wrong, that it wasn't actually Lelouch because Lelouch couldn't possibly have... But it  _was_  Lelouch - the same, smooth smile, the same striking eyes, the same regal poise and self-assured, uppity air - it was  _definitely_  Lelouch, save for  _that_ , which, Kallen realized in disbelief, could only mean one thing -

"Did you get  _FAT?_ "

There was a momentary pause, during which Lelouch's lips formed a very calm, very prim smile. "It's lovely to see you too, Kallen." And then he directed that smile toward Suzaku with a very slow, and equally calm batting of eyelids. "I see Suzaku has failed to inform you of a few important details."

Suzaku only grinned. "Well I  _was_  going to tell her, but then I realized she wouldn't have believed me. Or at least, she wasn't going to until..."

"Believe what?" Kallen snorted. "That Lelouch got fat?"

Lelouch closed his eyes briefly, inhaling slowly in an attempt to maintain his composure and keep a straight face. "As ridiculous as this is going to sound, I'm afraid  _fat_  currently only makes up a small percentage of this." Offended exasperation had crept slightly into his tone despite the light blush which was rising to his cheeks.

Kallen scoffed. "Yeah right. So if it's not  _fat_ , then what is it?"

A sudden uncertain, almost uncomfortable silence settled upon all of them. Suzaku looked at Lelouch, Lelouch looked at Suzaku and Nunnally, Nunnally smiled, C.C. smirked, Arthur licked a paw and Kallen looked at all of them, frowned and groused,

"What?"

"You're slow, aren't you?" C.C. spoke before the rest of them could, and dropped the bombshell with astounding subtlety. "His Majesty is pregnant."

The joke was so bad and yet so appropriate that the first thing Kallen wanted to do was to collapse with laughter - but then no one else was... laughing. Suzaku had an odd, almost sheepish smile caught on his face, Nunnally herself smiled gently at her when she looked at her, and Lelouch hadn't even snapped at C.C. for that quip, in fact, his  _blush_  had only just...  _worsened_.

Kallen opened her mouth, took one step back, and after a full ten seconds of gaping, finally uttered a very succinct, "You're  _shitting_  me."

...Okay. Perhaps it  _was_  possible, perhaps it had something to do with the Geass, that was the  _only_  way this could have possibly - but still, this was... this... it...

But then Lelouch smiled at Suzaku, and that glance between them was... and it...  _did_  seem that Lelouch had only put on weight around his abdomen, and  _so -_

"Sweet Gods above," Kallen almost choked but managed to breathe, "It's a freaking,  _gay, YAOI_  baby!"

And then she  _did_  explode into roars of laughter, guffawing so hard she had to clutch the back of a chair to support herself.

" _Yaoi baby_." C.C. repeated the Japanese description with mild amusement, sipping her tea with a slightly raised eyebrow and a small smirk behind the rim of her cup.

Suzaku crossed the room to Lelouch, who was now making an impressive variety of offended, frustrated, and embarrassed expressions all at once. He wrapped an arm around him and kissed his cheek, murmuring with a slightly strained smile, "Sorry."

"...I suppose this was coming anyway," Lelouch eventually conceded with his own dry smile as Kallen's laughter continued. Nunnally herself was smiling and shaking her head, fingers pressed to her lips as if she'd almost wanted to laugh as well.

And when Kallen was finally done and gasping for air, it was with a joking, incredulous, "What are you going to tell me next - that you're  _married?_ "

Somehow this seemed to make the young men stiffen a little and give each other another look. Lelouch suddenly seemed caught in between the decision to hide his left hand or leave it as it was, but of course it was too late because then Kallen realized that without Zero's gloves, which he'd finally taken off upon stepping into the house, Suzaku's own hand bore an identical, gleaming silver -

"Oh... Gods..."

C.C. grinned. "I'll get the photo album."

* * *

"I can't believe you let me  _miss_  all that." Kallen stabbed at her last piece of steak and sulkily shoved it into her mouth before brandishing the fork. "That's my only complaint. You held. your wedding.  _without me!_ "

"Regretful as that is, I am actually grateful that there was one less crazy woman with their merciless hands on me that morning," Lelouch responded evenly, rising to clear their plates from lunch before Suzaku caught his wrist and stopped him.

"No, come on, let me do it."

Lelouch smiled at him and gave in for once, while C.C. smirked at Kallen. "Besides, if you're going to hold a shotgun wedding without drastic alterations to the dress, you've got to do it fast."

"...True," Kallen grinned in acknowledgment, and Lelouch conveniently pretended to ignore their banter and busied himself with pouring more juice for Nunnally, biting down his chagrin for about the dozenth time that day.

It had taken Kallen a good fifteen minutes of sniggering and grinning wickedly (and supposedly delightedly) at the sight of their wedding photos, before she'd eventually asked more about the pregnancy - only, of course, to collapse into sniggers and snorts yet again upon hearing the explanation. All things considered, however, Lelouch decided it was still good to see her smiling and laughing again with that unmistakable fire for life still in her, and a little later when he invited her outside for a walk with him she took up the offer without hesitation.

It was easy to talk, to ask her how well things were going with her, her mother, the Black Knights, how different things actually were with Suzaku as a leader in his place - and it was even easier to tease her about what he'd also heard about her relationship with Gino, in return for all the jibes she and C.C. had poked at him and Suzaku over lunch.

Kallen blushed a little and declared the last question none of his business, though it was obvious from the reaction that they  _were_  now an item and that she was happy. She changed the topic by jokingly asking if life had become an utter bore for him now that he had only delicious meals to cook, no more battles to direct and nothing to conquer.

"I'd hardly call the approaching joys and perils of pregnancy and parenthood 'nothing to conquer'," Lelouch arched a slender brow, a trace of a wry smirk on his lips, and they both laughed shortly as they turned to look down the little hill they'd climbed at Suzaku, who was now laughing and playing with Arthur and Nunnally by the sunflowers outside the house.

Kallen studied Lelouch, saw the warmth in his gaze as he watched what there was of his family, and she caught the further softening of his eyes and his small, knowing smile as Suzaku paused to look up and smile back at them.

"You really love him, don't you?" She asked softly after a moment.

"He is the first... and only real friend I've had," Lelouch acknowledged, the smile taking on a touch of irony, "even throughout all that happened. But among all the others I knew..." He turned back to face her. "You were one of the hardest to push away."

It was said simply, a matter of fact - and Kallen knew he was referring to the moment in which she'd bid him farewell. Lelouch had been silent then - so silent, and she'd later realized it had all been because he hadn't wanted to drag her down the same path, but of course by then...

Lelouch looked at her now, his vivid eyes perceptive and his smile as charming as she remembered it to be, and Kallen understood that he was actually pleased there was no longer a need for him to hide things from her. With a wry smile back she recalled the trust he'd always placed in her as Zero, and confessed, "It was difficult... for me to walk away, too."

"I liked that kiss, just so you know." A smirk crossed his lips.

Kallen blushed despite herself. "Yeah, but that was while I was blissfully unaware that the stupidly attractive Demon Emperor was already in a sordid homosexual affair with his Knight." She grumbled in mock complaint, and Lelouch chuckled, and somehow that eventually led her to join in the laughter again.

And because he'd never held her in his arms before ( _Kallen_  had always been  _his_  bodyguard, a woman of iron will who'd never needed any masculine form of support or reassurance from  _him_ ) and because anything else would've been too awkward, Lelouch settled for a soft touch to her shoulder instead, smiling. "It's good to see that you're following my last order... Q-1."

"...To live on, huh?" Kallen grinned, looking like she was trying hard not to laugh again as she took in the sight of his stomach once more. "You bet that little bulge of yours I am."

Lelouch let out another quiet chuckle at her expression. "I'd rather not bet this on anything, if you don't mind." He placed a hand gently on the slowly ripening curve, and Kallen snorted.

"So uh, what is it anyway? A boy? A girl?"

"Suzaku wanted to keep things in suspense." Lelouch's smile was indulgent. "He thinks it's a boy, but I'm certain it's a girl we're expecting. Either way..."

"You're gonna be a couple of mushy-eyed overjoyed parents," Kallen surmised with a roll of her eyes and another grin, and there was nothing much Lelouch could say to disagree.

After a slightly awkward pause Kallen cleared her throat, looking as if she wanted to ask something but wasn't sure if she should, though she finally got out, lifting a hand slightly, "Can I...?"

Lelouch gave a light laugh. "Go ahead."

And so Kallen extended her hand, slowly, hesitantly, till it finally rested on the firmness of the little bump, and she found herself smiling when she glanced up to see Lelouch's eyes, soft and smiling as well in his watchful gaze. As weird as it still seemed, there was life nestled and budding in there, someday soon Lelouch and Suzaku would be parents to this blessed little thing, and Kallen decided she'd say hello and tell it a few things.

"Hey little kid," she greeted softly. "You're a lucky one, you know that? You're going to be born into a world free of war, where people are laughing..." Much like Ougi's and Viletta's child, but this baby, she was sure, was already even more special, especially considering... Kallen grinned. " _And_  you've got two of the most loving, sappy, magnificent gay bastards for parents."

"Watch your language," Lelouch's gaze flicked back up to her with a mock sternness, but then he smiled. "This is Kallen." The gaze turned contemplative, jesting as he lifted an eyebrow, smirking again. "Or would you prefer to be called Godmother Kallen?"

"...Geez, thanks, now I feel old."

"Well then, little one, pay no heed to Godmother Kallen and her foul mouth."

 _Asshole_ , Kallen started to say, but then checked herself at his warning look and sulkily mouthed it instead.

Lelouch laughed.

* * *

Kallen was staying the night, so after dinner all three girls were able to sit around and talk and laugh for a couple more hours before they finally headed off to bed. Lelouch and Suzaku chose to stay up a little longer, reading on the sofa.

The various literature Suzaku used to bring back for Lelouch to keep him occupied had already given way to the mountain of books on pregnancy, infant and childcare Suzaku had over-enthusiastically hauled back a couple of months ago - some had actually proven more useful and informative than Lelouch had thought they would be and he would spend his evenings slowly going over pages in considerable fascination. Suzaku himself brought a couple with him to study every time he left for his duties, and as Julianna had said, the books were indeed helpful in providing quick answers to certain questions which popped up every now and then.

"When do you think you'll start feeling it moving?" Suzaku mused over the pages of his book with a small grin. "They all say it can happen as early as eighteen weeks."

"I know," Lelouch looked up from his own, smiling. They were speaking in low tones so as not to wake the others and it was satisfyingly comforting to be able to enjoy the rest of the evening with Suzaku in peace. "It's only been seventeen, though. And it's normal not to feel anything up till about twenty-two."

"It says here others may be able to feel the movement by then, too, if they're lucky." Suzaku pointed to a page, still grinning.

Lelouch leaned for a closer look, reaching to flip the page around to the next. He'd been through this book before. "There was something here about being able to hear its heartbeat by ear as well. A little later on..."

"Really? By when?"

"Eighteen to over twenty weeks as well, I think - but again, only if you're lucky."

Suzaku shut the book and bent to place his ear on Lelouch's belly with a playful smile that was unsurprisingly child-like and hopeful. "Let's try that now."

There was a soft laugh. "I'm quite sure it's still too early for that." But Lelouch let him listen, running his fingers gently through his hair like he had when Suzaku had first put an ear to his womb. "...Anything?" He asked after a few moments.

"Mmm... still just your stomach." Suzaku sighed, straightening. He shifted closer then, murmuring wistfully as he slipped a hand around his waist and over the small bulge, "I want to be around... when you first feel it."

"I'll let you know the moment it happens," Lelouch reassured, placing his own hand over his. "Whether you're here or not."

Lelouch's smile was soft and radiant under the glow of the reading lamp, and in that moment Suzaku could only think of how much more beautiful he looked, the gentle rounding of his belly under his shirt singing subtly of the life blooming within. He'd been sincere with every compliment whispered to Lelouch since it had first started to show - and not just because the baby books had emphatically advised making partners feel better about their weight gain.

"You look wonderful," Suzaku whispered huskily again against his cheek, then moved to kiss him on the lips.

It was soft and chaste, but when Lelouch's eyelids lifted sultrily after, Suzaku found himself leaning in again - this time for a longer, hungrier one, cupping Lelouch's cheek, coaxing his mouth open as Lelouch subconsciously pulled him closer with a little sigh.

Happy to comply, Suzaku pressed in further - steady, sensual, passionate, lips moving and tongue stroking hotly till Lelouch's hand fisted in his shirt, a small noise forming in the back of his throat. Suzaku had always delighted in knowing just what to do to draw such noises from him, and he was intent now on coaxing more out of him as he lowered them so that Lelouch was resting with his back on the cushions, sucking gently on Lelouch's tongue and well aware of the answering heat in his groin as Lelouch moaned.

He slid a knee in between Lelouch's thighs and Lelouch parted them for him, hands settling on Suzaku's shoulders as he canted his hips up a little and Suzaku shifted against him.

"-Ah, S-Suzaku," Lelouch's whisper was breathless against his lips, doubtlessly having registered the feel of Suzaku's hardening length against his own crotch. "-Wait." A gasp as Suzaku licked a slow line over the pulse on his neck. "Not here. The girls..."

Suzaku pulled back momentarily to plant a quick kiss on his nose, smiling. "But they're all already asleep..." From Lelouch's abdomen he had already slipped his hand under Lelouch's shirt, caressing his skin as it traveled upward.

"There's still a chance they -  _Mnn._ " The next kiss had Lelouch arching into him, breath hitching as Suzaku found a nipple and ran a thumb over it, gently. _Sensitive_ , Suzaku found himself recalling from the books with fond amusement, laughing softly against his mouth as one of Lelouch's legs hooked over his, hips lifting and fingers digging into Suzaku's shoulders, another small gasp escaping him as -

_THUMP._

"Ow!"

Both young men sprang apart reflexively, hastily untangling themselves and sitting up to look in the direction of the noise, only to find a tangled heap of green, red-pink, and pajamas in the doorway to C.C.'s room, where the door was now  _suspiciously_  ajar.

"Clumsy pig," C.C. spat, shoving Kallen off herself. "Now look what you've done."

"Oh, as if  _you_  don't get to see something like that everyday." Kallen growled, brushing herself off.

"Well as a matter of fact, I don't, especially now with Lelouch being a moody priss -"

"Ladies," Lelouch's voice interrupted smoothly. "We happen to be quite capable of hearing everything you're saying." His smile was calm and even, though Kallen thought she saw an eye muscle twitch, just barely - and there were tell-tale flushes of pink on both his and Suzaku's cheeks.

"Uhm..." She began. "You're not going to believe us if we said we were just stepping out to get a midnight snack... are you?"

Lelouch's answer came in the form of a raised eyebrow, folded arms, and another, very subtle twitch.

"Dammit." But even then Kallen still had enough guts to grin, "I  _have_  to say, though, that was the  _sexiest_  thing I've seen two men do in -"

"Yes, well, we'll be going back to bed now." C.C. cut her off and yanked her back into the room before giving them a saccharine smile. "Please feel free to carry on. We're  _terribly_  sorry for the interruption." Her own head popped back in and the door slammed shut.

"...They're going to be listening the whole night, aren't they?" Suzaku asked after a few moments.

"I did warn you." Lelouch stood, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear in an attempt to regain nonchalance, still trying to fight down the second wave of blushing which had flooded his face at Kallen's comment. He was only grateful that Nunnally didn't seem to have woken from all the noise, or, god forbid - happened upon their little heated encounter.

"So I don't suppose..."

"Well." Lelouch gathered the books into a neat pile before the corners of his lips turned up in a subtle smirk. "If you still want to..."

Suzaku chuckled and got to his feet as well, giving him another quick kiss as he lowered his voice to a whisper. "You  _can_  manage without making too much noise, right?"

Lelouch scowled, yanked him by the collar to kiss him again, then pulled him into their room and turned out all the lights.

* * *

Lelouch, Suzaku had long since learnt, always had a backup plan for just about anything. Inevitably there were one or two smart comments from Kallen and C.C. over breakfast, but Suzaku had a good feeling that the lack of further teasing had very much to do with how Lelouch deliberately kept Nunnally close by and smiled very, very sweetly (too sweetly, to be exact) if either one of them made so much as another peep about things. And a too-sweetly-smiling pregnant Lelouch wasn't exactly something Suzaku would ever wish upon anyone.

Nonetheless there was still sufficient reason for Kallen to have enjoyed her weekend visit, and she left with a grin and a spark in her eyes that said she was already looking forward to the next time. They'd decided to let her inform Gino of the whole situation as well, provided discreetly and if she wanted to - since Gino too had since figured out who Zero really was, and believed in what they'd done. Kallen gave them the assurance that the knowledge would stay safe with them both (in her own words, that she would Radiant Wave Surge him with the Guren a million times over if he ever opened his golden mouth to anyone else) and that they would both be there to share in the happiness with them when their bundle of joy finally arrived.

Meanwhile, the days continued to pass, and it wasn't long before Lelouch was forced to sit in front of the sewing machine with a few pairs of pants and old jeans, snipping off the top portions - zippers, buttons and all - so that he could attach a more stretchable, roomier material in their place. As planned (and much to his relief) the altered pants were comfortable, made way for more growing room just fine, and hence effectively negated the need for any maternity  _dresses_.

Under his careful nurturing the blueberry plants were also bringing in their first fruit, plump and juicy, and it wasn't difficult to see that soon there would be enough from their garden alone for delicious pie to be had by everyone.

It was while cooking lunch one afternoon that Lelouch suddenly went still, the spatula slipping from between his fingers and clattering onto the pan as he stood, stunned for a full two seconds.

" _Suzaku_." The whisper finally made it out of his mouth, hoarse, and Suzaku, who'd been dicing the vegetables at the counter, was by his side and holding his shoulders in an instant, frantic with worry.

"What's wrong? Is something wrong? What's -"

Lelouch's only response was to lift the bottom of his shirt, then grab Suzaku's hand and press it to his belly. "There." He said softly. "Right there."

At first there was nothing. There was nothing for a good few seconds, in fact, but then Suzaku felt it - the lightest,  _faintest_  tickle against his palm, just for the smallest moment - and his eyes widened as he looked to Lelouch, who smiled at him, violet eyes now warm and shining knowingly.

Speechless with delight Suzaku pulled him into his arms from behind, and they exchanged quiet, enthralled gazes as Lelouch let himself lean a little against him, placing his own hands over his. Everything else ceased to exist in that moment, there was only each other, and the first, wonderful recognizable movements of their child, and -

"The pasta is burning," C.C. said helpfully.

Lelouch gave a little yelp, Suzaku let go of him in equal alarm, and they both jumped back into action to rescue the lunch.

Still, it wasn't enough to stop Suzaku from grinning at Lelouch like an excited little child himself for quite awhile after that, and when C.C. tactfully left them to do the dishes he slid his hands back under Lelouch's shirt and over his middle in a warm caress, arms once again encircling him from behind.

"It hasn't moved again yet, has it?"

"Not yet," Lelouch's laugh was light as he dried off the plates with a towel. "Nothing else I've felt, anyway."

Suzaku pulled him closer with a curious whisper. "...What  _does_  it feel like... from the inside?"

Lelouch smiled. "Like... a butterfly," His eyes softened further as he seemed to recall the moment, "Fluttering."

It was enough to make Suzaku settle his chin on his shoulder with a dreamy, wistful sigh, and so Lelouch smirked a little at him. "Since you seem so eager to get a proper taste of all of this, shall we devise a way for  _you_  to get pregnant the next time?"

"...I wouldn't mind that, you know," Suzaku confessed, grinning, and when Lelouch raised a highly skeptical eyebrow he insisted truthfully, "Really!"

A pause then, as he realized, "-wait... So we  _are_  having more kids?"

Lelouch let out something in between a scoff and a laugh. "I'd like to actually get through with this one first, please."

He stepped away to keep some of the plates and Suzaku picked up the towel and continued drying off the rest of the dishes, smiling as he watched him. Despite Lelouch's words Suzaku was certain that getting through parenthood would be little trouble for Lelouch, at least; Lelouch had always borne a softer, motherly side which few actually got to see but could shine like the sun in spring.

Perhaps it had been all the years of tender caring for Nunnally in Marianne's place, but even when younger, when they'd first been abandoned in Japan right after losing their mother Suzaku had realized that despite his slight frame there was a remarkable inner strength within Lelouch that loved, protected and provided for his sister not unlike what a mother sparrow did for her young.

Having lost his own mother when he was very, very small, Suzaku had spent most of his growing years without the genuine motherly care most children were fortunate enough to receive - but had longed for it enough, at times, and still been discerning enough to recognize it when he'd seen it. When one of the chicks on the farm had wandered too far from the brood, Suzaku was the one who'd caught it but it had been Lelouch who had returned it to its family with delicate, gentle hands and a careful, studious eye which had inspected it for any injuries. When there'd been a runt in the cat's next litter Lelouch had rescued the kitten, taken it aside and nursed it meticulously to proper health, and it had even grown into Nunnally's favorite playmate among all the animals. And Suzaku's younger self had watched all this with fascination and an unconscious admiration for the boy's capacity to care, especially for the young and the weak.

Seven, eight years later Lelouch's actions had seemed almost contradictory, fueled by vengeance and a long-nursed hatred, but even then - ruthless and unfair as Suzaku still felt some of those actions had been - even then love had been in the picture as well; almost everything Lelouch had done had been for Nunnally, and Suzaku was only glad that they'd still been able to right some of the resulting chaos in the end. Love, when Lelouch gave it, was a powerful, powerful thing, and Suzaku had no doubt about the kind of mother Lelouch would make or the strength already in his love for their unborn child.

"You're thinking." Lelouch's smirk indicated the tease that said thinking wasn't something Suzaku did very often. He'd returned to the counter and was leaning against it slightly, studying him with the violet rich through half-lidded eyes.

Suzaku smiled. "Yeah,"

"And what of?" Lelouch's breath was soft against his lips.

"Of how far we've come," Suzaku murmured back indulgently, fondly and then kissed him, and acknowledged, not for the first time, that they couldn't possibly ever ask for more.


	5. Five

Suzaku was humming. It was a soft, happy tune he was making up as he went along, though it wasn't something he was doing while carrying out the housework, or dangling a cat toy in front of Arthur - at least, not this time.

Instead, he was on the bed (as he'd been for the past twenty minutes) with his lips pressed gently to Lelouch's abdomen, laughing every now and then as the vibration from his voice seemed to produce a subtle reaction from within. It had been a month now since they'd first felt the fetus move. With Lelouch being naturally slender, it had become easier to pick up its movements each time and Suzaku had recently discovered, while kissing Lelouch's stomach with a hum of content one night, that the baby appeared to  _like_  what he was doing.

It stirred again, now against where his palm was resting on Lelouch's navel, and Suzaku gave another mirthful chuckle at the response.

"Haven't you had enough for one night?" Lelouch looked up from his book with a small sigh, though he was smiling as well, not unkindly.

He was reading with the pillows propped up behind him, and Suzaku pressed another playful, musing hum to his skin. "Hmm... What about you, little one? Have you?"

There was another movement - this time, what felt like a little punch or kick. Suzaku grinned.

"I think it's getting annoyed." Lelouch went back to his literature, still harboring a smile behind the pages. The baby was definitely already capable of recognizing voices from the outside, and while he couldn't be absolutely certain of what it was feeling, Suzaku had been 'playing' with it for awhile now and its initial, seemingly delighted tickling back was turning into more pronounced actions, which, Lelouch thought affectionately, were considerably strong for its age, though not quite hard enough yet to be causing him much discomfort -

Suzaku laughed softly against his belly again and there was a sudden, tiny bump within his womb which made both of them start and look up at each other in slight alarm.

"What was  _that_?" Suzaku asked, eyes wide just as there was another little pulse-like sensation - and another - and Lelouch closed his book with a thoughtful frown and sat up further, one hand braced on the mattress as the other smoothed over his belly.

"It... feels like..." The tiny spasms continued, one after the other, noticeable to both him and Suzaku but not violent, almost like a small, rhythmic...

Lelouch realized what it was and almost laughed. "It's hiccups... it's hiccupping."

It had never happened before and Lelouch chuckled at the way Suzaku's expression melted. " _Oh._ "

Within moments Suzaku had bent to nuzzle his stomach, cooing with a soft "aww," while the little one continued hiccupping inside him. Due to the not inconsiderable reading it was known to them both that hiccups were normal and in fact a good sign of growth, and Julianna had also had nothing but positive comments during Lelouch's fifth month check-up not too long ago - so it wasn't a cause for worry - but something seemed to occur to Suzaku then and he looked up again, a little anxiously.

"Do you suppose they're uncomfortable?"

Lelouch smiled in reassurance. "They can't be much worse than a normal bout of hiccups." Suzaku was suddenly looking adorably over concerned, and Lelouch leaned forward to brush a kiss against his forehead with a low chuckle. "I'm sure it'll settle soon enough." He smoothed a hand comfortingly over his stomach again as the baby hiccupped twice more, marveling and warming inwardly at the intricacy already in the small life within him. "There now, my little one."

The baby moved around as if trying to get out of its little dilemma, and Suzaku gave Lelouch a small smile before spreading both hands over the curve and stroking it gently as well, pressing a kiss to his belly in an attempt to soothe.

It hiccupped again and Lelouch continued the caressing, finding himself smiling almost sympathetically.  _There, there_...

The baby stirred a little more - and then there was a sudden flurry of movement and Suzaku's eyes were widening again as he asked in laughing surprise, "Was that a..."

"A somersault. Yes, I think so." Lelouch grinned. They exchanged smiles and Lelouch gave his belly a soft, pensive rub. There was nothing more in the next few moments, and slowly it began to feel like the baby was finally settling down. "I think they've stopped."

Suzaku smiled and kissed his tummy once more. "Maybe we should let it rest."

"I'm not the one who's been disturbing it all evening," Lelouch gave him a pointed smirk, lightly reprimanding, but decided to reward Suzaku's sheepish look with a soft laugh and a kiss as the latter finally straightened and shifted closer to him.

"Maybe we should all get some rest." There was a yawn coming on and Lelouch had difficulty stifling it, but then there wasn't a need to say anything else.

Suzaku smiled warmly, kissed him again, adjusted their pillows and reached to turn off the lamp, and before long they were curling up together under the covers, the rounding curve of Lelouch's stomach nestled into the inward curve of Suzaku's waist, safe and snug between them.

Suzaku buried his face affectionately into the crook of Lelouch's neck and breathed in the scent of the hair at his nape.

"I love you, Lelouch."

"Mhmm. I love you, too."

* * *

The growing weight of the baby was starting to put a strain on Lelouch's back at last, and maintaining grace was becoming an issue for him sometimes when getting up or sitting down, but Lelouch generally managed this with slightly slower and more careful movements. Fortunately Suzaku was also around often enough, returning from work in the evenings as much as he could to attend to him loyally with his usual showers of affection and now, back rubs - oh, the  _back rubs_. Suzaku was a fast learner and as much as it embarrassed Lelouch to admit it, Suzaku was capable of coaxing long moans and sighs from him with every massage and the way his hands slowly and deftly relieved the tension which had been subtly building up in his muscles over the day. Suzaku of course found this all very amusing and massages were often littered with loving chuckles and teasing ("There? Harder?") - and it was only unfortunate that shoving him away would result in the interruption of his very,  _very_  effective attentions.

Suzaku loved to listen to his belly frequently now too, besides humming and talking to the baby, and at times he was already able to hear its heartbeat by ear alone. It was the same tiny, rapid rhythm they'd both been able to listen to using Julianna's stethoscope on her latest visit, but Suzaku still whispered with vivid, shining eyes every time, describing and mimicking the sound to Lelouch with soft noises and an enthralled smile while he pressed an ear to the skin above his womb.

Slowly Lelouch's belly had grown from a gentle, protruding pout to a steadily rounding thing, and the baby was becoming increasingly active, its kicks and movements growing stronger and more distinctive with each passing day. Lelouch was now usually able to sense if it was in a wakeful moment or asleep, and on some nights it was beginning to get a little more difficult to fall asleep himself with the little one happily doing acrobatics inside of him the whole time. But every movement - even the hiccups which now came occasionally - was still a charming reminder of the tiny life he was carrying, and at times Lelouch found that his own heart would still flutter in response when it stirred. It appeared to like his voice as well, often responding with seemingly contented wiggles when he spoke to it, or was just speaking to anyone in general.

Being pregnant was certainly not something he'd given much thought to before, much less imagined himself as, but with the experience now actually upon him and his acceptance of it Lelouch had quickly realized that it was far more than what biology and even the baby books could ever impart. There weren't words which could perfectly describe how it felt to be an expectant mother, or how tiring yet rewarding some side effects could be, how the thought of bringing a new life into the world sometimes frightened or sobered... and least of all the immense love and responsibility one could already feel toward the life within.

Vaguely he remembered the look he'd sometimes seen on his own mother's face, when she'd been pregnant with Nunnally and gazing out across the palace gardens - and Lelouch wondered if there were moments now where he looked the same, a warmth he'd never quite felt with anything else blossoming within him each time he caressed the unexpected gift nestled in his abdomen.

Marianne had been a good mother - strong, loving, warm, and kind - even Cornelia had looked up to her greatly and there was still a hollow ache in a part of Lelouch at the thought of her, of her and his father, what they'd truly chosen in the end and how he'd been forced to...

But that had all passed now. Qualities that had shone in the mother Marianne had been to him - in the mother he'd striven to take the place of while younger and looking after Nunnally - Lelouch kept in his heart, and there wasn't need to look back at anything else. They weren't their parents or what their parents had become, they would never be, and he'd reassured Suzaku as such one night, upon the latter's slightly troubled confession that the thought of being a father still worried him sometimes.

"You're not the man your father was." Lelouch, knowing the meaning behind his words, had whispered to him in the dark after giving him a silent, fierce kiss - and that had been enough.

Suzaku had a good heart, and a warmth and love earnest beyond measure; Lelouch himself knew his own heart and what it was capable of, and though there was still a little anxiety that came with the thought Lelouch was certain that raising a child was going to be more rewarding than harrowing for the both of them. And they'd been blessed... blessed to be given a little one to bring up in a world now out of conflict, though even in danger Lelouch knew there was already enough love in him and Suzaku both to make them willingly give their lives for their child, if necessary.

"Marianne would be proud to see you like this, you know," C.C. remarked with a smile one afternoon as Lelouch stood, observing the growth of the tomato plants with one hand rubbing gentle motions up and down the curve of his belly.

Lelouch gave a distracted hum and his female companion smirked from where she was sprawled out lazily on the grass.

"Being kicked again?"

"Relentlessly," Lelouch acknowledged with a sigh. He reached down to prune a few leaves, his other hand moving to support his back lightly as he stooped, and the baby protested this change in his positioning with a wriggle, a somersault, and another kick. "I swear it's like Suzaku doing spin kicks in there." Lately the baby's favorite movements had involved exactly that - turning a half or full somersault followed by a playful kick in whatever position in had spun to, and while this was both heartwarming and amusing Lelouch was beginning to wish it hadn't chosen to pick up such a trick while still inside his womb.

C.C.'s eyes twinkled with something close to laughter. "I think my day's just been made."

Lelouch managed a tired smile in return and patted his stomach as the baby kicked him again.  _Just a moment, little one. At least allow me to get some work done._

He trimmed off a couple of overgrown branches as C.C. watched him with amused silence, and Lelouch stopped after a moment to see her smiling.

It was clear that she'd been having the most ridiculous fun, especially now given his and Suzaku's current situation, but C.C. was also clearly content where she was, with all of them, and if he had to Lelouch would admit that despite all the harassment and teasing, it was always a good thing to see that quiet, genuine glow on her face every now and then.

"C.C."

"Hm?"

Lelouch set the clippers down, smoothing a hand over his belly again as he decided to voice the question he'd been meaning to ask for some time. C.C. had said she'd remain by his side till the end; of this Lelouch had no doubt, but then... "Eventually Suzaku and I will disappear from this life, too. After that, what will you..."

"Oh, I don't know." C.C. rose to her feet with an idle smirk. "Watch over your children and your children's children, and their children's children's children, I suppose. Until the world falls into conflict once more and someone needs the Geass again. Or wants my 'ability to have babies'." Here she grinned pointedly and Lelouch found himself smiling again - this time in silent understanding.

" _The Power of Kings makes people lonely,_ " C.C. had mused the familiar line aloud to him once on a lazy afternoon, eyes lifted to the sky and the same, new smile on her lips. " _I suppose that wasn't quite true, was it, Lelouch?_ "

And her words now - as lightly as she'd just said them, carried with them a steady reassurance and confirmation. C.C. was happy. No longer lonely - and no longer afraid to live.

And so, satisfied with her statement as well as with his work on the plants, Lelouch decided to relieve the baby of the supposedly cramped positioning and get to his feet as well. He was in the middle of doing this when the weight caused something to go slightly off in his usual elegance and center of balance, and C.C. caught hold of him, laughing shortly as he swayed a little.

"Careful!"

Lelouch laughed as well despite his embarrassment, steadying himself, and then there was a moment where both of them paused, looking and smiling warmly at each other.

"I love you too, you know," he said softly, reaching to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

C.C.'s amber eyes were warm and twinkling. "I know, Lelouch." She murmured. "I know."

* * *

Work was, Suzaku supposed, in its own way a blessing. Granted, Lelouch was never far from his mind, and with him already in the early stages of his third trimester Suzaku found a growing reluctance to leave his side each time, but as Zero, there was much quiet happiness to be found as well.

Within the year that had passed almost everyone had found joy and a certain peace again - it was evident on their faces despite the many different projects and agreements they constantly had to work on.

Seeing his homeland being restored, his people with life in them again - knowing that it was what both he and Lelouch had envisioned when they had first set out on this path... They were all moving forward. That was reward enough.

Gino, having been told the news upon his return from exploring South America, took it well despite not having the chance to see Lelouch just yet. Kallen had managed to make him believe her somehow and he was already winking and clapping Suzaku good-naturedly on the back when they ran into each other, sometimes even with a teasing, hinting question or two provided no one - or at least, no one who would suspect much - was watching.

There was indication, of course, that those among the higher ranks in the Black Knights also had a good sense as to who their new leader really was and what the Zero Requiem had truly been for. They knew better than to press anyone for anything, however, and only went as far as to raise mildly curious eyebrows whenever they happened to notice Kallen and/or Gino shooting pointed grins at Zero.

But then a certain day came where the Black Knights were solemn, somber - brought to the memories of the battles they'd fought and of their fallen comrades. Most would never forget the date, and on the third anniversary of the Black Rebellion, Suzaku and Nunnally, too, took a moment aside in honor of one who'd borne so special a place in both their hearts.

_Euphemia. Euphy._

There were still times - many times - when Suzaku would remember: the radiant smile, those bright, bright eyes, the gentle touch of her hands which had always spoken so much.

As a symbol, Zero had no business here, but as the person, as the boy whose heart the princess had won - Suzaku did. And now, exactly three years from the day she'd been taken from him too soon, he watched as Nunnally laid their flowers at the foot of her grave.

They were the only visitors in the whole of the royal graveyard.

A handful of other royals who'd died in Japan during Britannia's rule had also been buried here, and, like Lelouch's, the headstone of Euphemia's grave was simple. Just a name, the royal title she'd held as princess, the years she'd lived.

There was nothing - no inscription on the exact cause of her death, no defamatory words on the Massacre Princess or the Genocide Princess - a name which had instead lived on the people's lips and memories until Lelouch had, in all megalomaniacal glory, replaced it with his own.

Suzaku had adored Euphemia. Loved her, even - though he'd never thought himself worthy of such an angel's love in return - loved her so much, and he'd been so angry,  _so very torn and angry..._

But then so much had changed yet again. Lelouch had shown no remorse, had never said he was sorry, though Suzaku had known for a long time that he was. And when they'd made the choice - the promise of the Zero Requiem... Lelouch had finally revealed everything.

In the end it had still been Lelouch's fault - how she'd died,  _why_  she'd died. But it had been the cause of a single most tragic, unfortunate mistake, at a time when the Geass had simply been undoable. And though Lelouch had used this to turn things to his advantage back then, though it had been difficult at first, Suzaku had, at last, come to -

Nunnally touched his gloved hand and Suzaku came out of his reverie to realize that a silent tear was already making its way down and wetting the black cloth over his face.

"Brother loved her very much, too." She murmured quietly.

The look in her eyes became distant, soft and sad as she turned back to gaze out over the graveyard. Suzaku gently squeezed her smaller hand in return.

"I know."

"  _'The dead won't come back no matter how much you cry for them.'_  Isn't it so?" A voice came from behind them, almost so suddenly that Nunnally let out an audible gasp of surprise.

Cornelia li Britannia stood, leaning against one of the decorative stone structures, arms crossed and a dry smile on her lips. "That was what Lelouch said when Queen Marianne, his mother, died." Slowly she uncrossed her legs and made her way over to them, her eyes seeming to find Suzaku's even through the mask. "  _'Right now we should be concerned for those still with us.'_ "

Finality rung in her words and at that look, Suzaku realized in one mind-numbing moment that  _she_   _knew_.

She knew Lelouch was alive.

There was a certain fear that sparked through him; he felt it in Nunnally's grip as well. Fear, fear for Lelouch, for their unborn child... Dimly he recalled Lelouch saying once that Cornelia was the biggest risk they were taking, because Cornelia was discerning, shrewd in her own way and though she would probably have understood, there was still the small chance that she wouldn't trust.

"Your Highness -" Suzaku's throat was dry when he finally spoke, and Nunnally's echo of "Cornelia... Sister, I..." was tentative, laced too with a sudden anxiety.

"Don't worry," Cornelia smiled again then, half a smirk this time as though she was explaining something to small, ignorant children. "I haven't done anything and I won't." She stepped forward to her full sister's gravestone, sobering a little at the sight. "Your secret is safe with me. The rest obviously aren't as sharp and don't possess enough authority to have figured out the things I did."

Relief, first, though some of the wariness remained, and then another few moments before Suzaku found himself able to speak again, carefully. "How long have you...?"

"Known? I sensed something amiss during the funeral. I know my family well enough, and I'm not as blind as some of the others, Kururugi."

Cornelia knelt before the grave. "I know what it was you were trying to do. I'm going to say it's commendable." There was a pause then as her fingers traced the date of death inscribed, her voice quiet. "But there are still some answers I wasn't able to find."

The former princess turned to look at him. "You were Euphemia's knight.  _And_  my brother's best friend."

Suzaku understood then that confirmation was what she was seeking. He swallowed and nodded, solemn. "I... told him to lie, till the very end." And Lelouch, he recalled, had played the part perfectly. "But in the end..." In the end Suzaku had still recognized the look in his eyes. In the end, when Lelouch had finally bared the truth to him... "He never did give that command to Euphemia on purpose. It was an accident."

Cornelia's eyes softened for the briefest moment, before she gave a satisfied nod and stood. It was all she'd needed to hear.

"He wouldn't have." She looked ahead resolutely, but for once there was the slightest waver in her otherwise firm voice. "He loved her too much. As did everyone."

Nunnally reached out to her elder half-sister, soft and understanding. "Cornelia..."

But Cornelia simply gave her a reassuring smile, and clasped Suzaku steadily on the shoulder. "I trust in what all of you did. Keep an eye on him. But tell him... that if he somehow decides to reappear to wreak havoc again," she grinned, though more in jest than anything else, "I'll have his head."

She turned to leave, then, and Suzaku and Nunnally watched her go, exchanging looks as they did so. Nunnally smiled, and it was small, but relaxed.

It didn't seem like Cornelia wanted or needed to see Lelouch anytime soon, and she didn't appear to be aware of the other details either. It was inevitable now that she would find out the rest, someday, but after seeing how she'd accepted everything else Suzaku was certain that when the time came there would probably only be a reaction of horror and momentary disbelief, followed by laughing and the strange, guarded kind of fondness Cornelia always seemed to give.

There would be time for that.

* * *

Later that night and back home, Suzaku entered their room to find Lelouch standing silently by the window, violet eyes lifted toward the stars.

It wasn't difficult to guess what - or who, was on his mind.

"...It's been three years." Suzaku finally murmured after a long moment.

Lelouch's affirmation was quiet. "Yes."

Another pause of silence, as Lelouch finally looked back down, and then -

"I'm sorry."

It was the same regret which had been hidden in his eyes from the very beginning. The utterance of it was long overdue, but then it had never quite been needed in the first place, and brought with it a recollection of memories and emotions instead.

Things were different now, from the time Lelouch had first told him the truth - back then there had been other, higher concerns, back then there had been time only to press relentlessly forward without once looking back - not at their childhood, not at the loved ones they'd lost, not at all the ways in which they'd wronged each other.

"So am I," were the only words Suzaku could find beyond a whisper.

He moved to encircle him from behind, slowly, one hand coming to rest warmly over Lelouch's now well-rounded belly as the other tilted his head gently toward him. Suzaku kissed him softly and Lelouch made a small noise in his throat as he leaned against him and into the kiss, somewhere in between a tired sigh and one of content.

In many ways Suzaku supposed it could have been different. Things could have turned out so differently; he could have remained Euphemia's knight, married her, even, maybe, if she'd asked him to. And yet ironically it was still Lelouch in the end, still Lelouch - himself stained with blood, himself capable of monstrosities - still Lelouch who'd looked to Suzaku and understood, loved him for all that he was,  _despite_  all that he was - the boy, the man, the murderer, the traitor, the friend.

And now... Suzaku found a smile as he pulled away, green eyes warm and voice soft. "But... I'm glad we're still here."

Lelouch laughed softly. "Glad we're still here, moving forward into tomorrow and into the new things in life which await us?" One slender eyebrow arched pointedly as he smirked. As if on cue there was a particularly solid kick or punch, right under Suzaku's palm - and Suzaku chuckled against Lelouch's neck as the latter made a slight face.

"Yes."

The answer caused Lelouch to smile in return, however, and Suzaku kissed him again, this time on the cheek as the hand on his stomach caressed it lovingly.

Another moment had passed before Suzaku chose to murmur, "Cornelia knows."

It was both a trifle amusing and utterly heartwarming to see that Lelouch's first, instinctive reaction was to place a hand protectively over his belly, over Suzaku's own hand and over the baby as he stiffened and turned to look at him, though he kept his voice steady. "How much?"

So Suzaku told him, of the day's events, of the encounter with his sister and of all that she'd said.

When he was done Lelouch had settled himself down on the edge of their bed, his smile half-fond, half-dry, and affirmative, knowing. "I did suspect something like that would come from her, eventually."

In a sense there was also triumph, and relief, because it meant that the last uncertainty which had been growing at the back of his mind had at last been settled. Cornelia had looked for the truth and found it - and hadn't doubted their intentions or attempted to persecute them, as he'd both hoped and calculated. She'd been sensible in this and they were safe, and consequently there was no reason for his half-sister to bear ill intention toward their child whenever she would find out about it, either.

Suzaku gave a small smile back, settling down beside him on the mattress, and when he touched a hand to his back Lelouch leaned gratefully into the signal, allowing steady fingers to begin working out the knots from the day.

"I think... many among the leaders understand now too, actually." Suzaku mused as he massaged. "Now that the world is as it is."

Lelouch smiled. "They would...  _Oh._ " Suzaku reached a particularly effective point and he was unable to help the soft gasp at the relief and pleasure spreading through his tired muscles. "Right there... mm."

Suzaku dutifully focused his attention on the task at hand, centering on the identified spot on Lelouch's lower back and using the heel of his palm to rub it in slow, firm circles and strokes. Lelouch closed his eyes, and soon found himself having to bite back an embarrassing moan.

It was... very, very good.

"Gods... Suzaku -"

"Don't stop?" Suzaku suggested with a playful murmur, smiling against his ear.

"-You -  _insufferable -_  You're supposed to help me  _relax,_  not -" Lelouch could do no better than a frustrated hiss at the teasing image, only to arch helplessly against Suzaku's hands again with the beginnings of another moan as the rubbing continued.

Suzaku was laughing, voice soothing. "Okay, okay..." Eventually the movement of his hands evened out, spreading expertly, soothingly over the rest of Lelouch's back and the areas which usually ended up with larger aches. Suzaku kept from teasing him further, his touch constant and calming, and by the time he was done Lelouch had gone almost limp against him, eyes half-closed in content.

Suzaku kissed the side of his head, then got down and shifted to start work on his feet.

All Lelouch could manage when he realized what he was doing was a soft, chiding, "You fuss too much over me."

But he didn't have the heart to stop him, and when Suzaku cradled a foot, pressed a kiss to his ankle and looked up with a smile that said it was merely all part and parcel of going through this  _together_ , the baby fluttered within him as well and Lelouch found himself smiling warmly back.

Suzaku ran a thumb soothingly up and down his sole, musing again with a tilt of his head, "Do you miss the city?"

"Sometimes, yes." Memories of all the days spent in the Tokyo Settlement, at Ashford, skipping class with Rivalz to gamble the hours away came flitting back, and there was a fondness which stirred within him at the thought. Life at home here was peaceful, simple, reminiscent of their childhood at the Kururugi shrine, and in general they had everything they needed, but there were times when Lelouch would still find a small longing for the sights and sounds he'd spent almost all his teenaged years with. "But this is the life we chose, isn't it?" Lelouch looked at him with mild interest. "Why do you ask?"

"Well... Nunnally and I kind of figured you'd still miss it, a little... so we were thinking of a way to take you back, just for a day, and C.C. had this excellent idea..."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes a little. "And just what might that be?" If  _C.C._  was involved, then there was bound to be some sort of devious catch somewhere.

Suzaku leaned forward, clearly excited to explain this wonderful plan even as he began massaging Lelouch's calf. "Well we all know that anything that requires you to walk around with me while I'm dressed as Zero is too risky, because it'll draw too much attention. But... you're obviously expecting now, aren't you, and the last thing  _anyone_  is going to suspect is that Emperor Lelouch is alive and is now a pregnant lady strolling down the streets in broad daylight, by her husband's side. It'll just be the two of us. It's perfect. I mean... I've already got my own disguise that I use when traveling, and Nunnally's managed to get hold of some of your mother's dresses, I'm sure they'll fit you fine -"

"-No."

"But it's just for a day. It'll be like the school's reverse gender festival again. You could wear a wig, and we could get you some other contacts and even a voice changer, just to be safe..."

Lelouch shook his head, almost wanting to laugh at how carefully they seemed to have thought it through. And it was sweet, in a way. He wasn't too happy with the part that involved the dress, of course, but it was a valid idea which deserved credit. Then again... "I don't doubt how convincing a disguise like that would be, but we'll be putting ourselves in far too unpredictable a situation."

Suzaku seemed to understand exactly what he was referring to and smiled. "What if I say I've arranged for Kallen and Gino to follow and watch out from a distance as back-up, too?"

Lelouch actually considered this for a moment. "...Suzaku, even then... if the worst should happen - say if a premature labor is somehow triggered while we're there - public attention will be on us right away, I may not be in a condition that will allow me to use the Geass, let alone think straight, and the LeBlancs obviously won't be the nearest form of help."

"Oh Lelouch," Suzaku started laughing.

"I'll agree that the odds of that happening are next to nothing, but have you thought of something like that?" It was indeed a highly unlikely scenario, of course, but Lelouch convinced himself that he was just... trying to be prepared for everything.

Suzaku grinned. "You're just making up excuses because you don't want to wear a dress."

"...I am not."

"Yes you are. Come on, don't you want to see how everything's changed in the past year? And... you know we're going to have to look for baby furniture and everything else sooner or later anyway."

There was a point in that. It wasn't as if Lelouch hadn't considered other options - there were always catalogs, for one, but browsing through those things was going to be nothing compared to the opportunity to survey something they intended to use for their child first-hand. Gods knew if Suzaku would even place the correct order anyway, if things were to be left to him, or if he wouldn't end up buying up the entire shop instead in his excitement.

And... Lelouch  _was_  also going to need at least a couple more shirts soon enough - most of what he had was getting too tight around the middle now and Suzaku, who wasn't very different in size, didn't have any spares which would be roomy enough for the later months either. And then there were clothes for the baby, bottles, blankets -

Suzaku sat back on his heels, placed his hands on his own knees and looked up at him, eyes twinkling. "Of course, I guess I  _could_  always go shop for those myself..."

Lelouch looked at him, closed his eyes, took a deep breath - and decided that perhaps he was going to have to wear a dress again after all.

* * *

"I look..." Lelouch stared at himself in the mirror, not too many days later. Eyes wide, and now blue with the lenses, coupled with his now flowing hair, he looked almost... "Like my mother." He finished softly.

Marianne's eyes had been just as vivid, though rounder, and she'd had fuller lips often defined with a little more color, but in essence - and especially while clothed in one of her favorite blue maternity dresses, the reflection that stared back at him was a fair reminder of what she'd looked like while she'd been carrying his sister.

Suzaku, his own eyes now hazel brown and hair a reddish blond, came to stand next to him, smiling as he kissed his cheek. "You look beautiful."

The dress matched Lelouch's now-blue eyes perfectly, light and flowing around his feet, its sleeves long and of a lighter material still, but slit open such that there was free room for arm movement and such that they became part of a simple but graceful design instead. Lelouch had certainly made a lovely choice from among the few dresses they'd brought back.

C.C. had helped them obtain the suitable contacts to cover Lelouch's Geass (blue versions of the violet ones Lelouch normally used), and she'd also very delightedly helped Lelouch to "fill out his chest" - just a little, and so that the outfit sat even more convincingly and naturally on him.

Lelouch sighed and shook his head, still somewhat embarrassed at how he looked and not quite used to the alto, though decidedly more feminine voice when he spoke.

But the voice patch was working splendidly. The male bass had disappeared, the sound gentler and deceptively female, but Suzaku could still clearly make out the tone, the richness, and the smooth quality that was essentially Lelouch's.

"Looking good, Your Majesty," Gino grinned when they finally met him at the doorway of the house. He and Kallen had dropped by so they could begin tailing them from the start of their travel to town - and Lelouch tried to ignore the fact that the first time the former Knight of Three was seeing him after the Zero Requiem was while he was dressed as a beautiful pregnant lady, and instead mustered up the most dignified, ladylike smile he could as a form of practice.

"Thank you, Weinberg."

Kallen had to clap a hand over her mouth to cover up a bark of laughter at his voice. "I'm sorry," she choked, having trouble holding it in as it all came out in tiny snorts and giggles instead. "I'm sorry, this is just... too weird."

"Well, you can thank C.C. for her handiwork and also for this...  _ingenious_  scheme which I have somehow been cleverly manipulated into." Lelouch glanced pointedly toward the grinning witch and the 'husband' by his side, petulant but with the trace of a reluctant, already defeated smile, and Suzaku smiled in return, slipping an arm gently around his.

"I told you they were unbelievably sappy," Kallen nudged Gino with a grin.

Gino grinned back. "Well then, my Lord... and Lady, shall we?"

* * *

C.C., who already visited the city as and when she liked, was content to stay at home as long as there was the promise of more pizza, and Nunnally had to attend to official matters, so it was indeed a couple's outing for Lelouch and Suzaku - though of course, with the addition of two capable escorts always a safe distance away. They'd stopped at the outskirts of the city and Kallen and Gino had fallen back to let them wander ahead first, so as to follow them without being too conspicuous to the public.

The park here had been one of those left untouched by the FLEIJA warhead when it had landed, and its greenery and landscape was only all the more beautiful now. In choosing to set foot in it first, however, Lelouch had also a definite purpose.

 _"If we're going into town,"_ he'd told Suzaku softly when he'd first agreed to the plan,  _"then there's also one more thing I'd like to do."_

Here there was a graveyard, bathed in gentle sun, and there was someone he'd never gotten the chance to say a proper goodbye to, not till now.

_Shirley._

There were so many things he could have done, or not done, so many other ways he could've tried to save her - from Mao, from the Geass, from his own foolishness which had caused everything, but in the end love had both saved and killed her, and though her death had set him down a path he hadn't looked back on till he'd lain close to his own, Lelouch hadn't forgotten.

Suzaku, gaze somber, stood beside him while he knelt, and Lelouch closed his eyes.

There weren't words he could say, nothing he could do now to bring her back, but there was something he wanted to give, and he wondered what Shirley would think if she saw them now - him visiting her grave dressed in such a manner, a child in his womb and Suzaku by his side, both their lives started anew...

And in a moment of clarity, Lelouch realized that she'd be smiling.

As if in affirmation the breeze caressed his face lightly, the grass dancing, and Lelouch found the words he'd been looking for.

Slowly he pressed fingers to his lips, then touched them gently to the headstone.

_Thank you._

For everything. For showing him. For loving him when she hadn't known the truth and even when she had, and for being part of the reason why he was where he was on this day. It was a silent murmur but it was enough, and Suzaku smiled a little back at him as he helped Lelouch to his feet, one hand steadily supporting his waist and the baby's weight.

And beside the flowers - because the other grave was not here and because he knew she'd have wanted him to, as a sign of forgiveness from him and her both - Lelouch left a little folded paper bird.

For the boy, the little brother who'd wounded her in misunderstanding, but had also only been trying in all his own earnestness till the end.

_Rolo. Thank you, too._

* * *

The whole place had a calming feel; flowers were blooming and the birds were chirping distantly in the trees, and so they decided to walk through the rest of the park to get to the town center. Their stroll was pleasant, undisturbed, and by the first few minutes any apprehension Lelouch still had about returning had almost all disappeared.

Suzaku kept a tender hand on his back and kept him close, looking smart and also cleverly disguised with a coat draped over one arm, and a black hat that not only went well with his shirt and vest but helped to shade his face partially from view. Lelouch had always been the slightest bit taller, but the difference was hardly noticeable even while next to each other like this (in fact, Suzaku looked taller with the hat) and they looked exactly like a picturesque but ordinary couple enjoying their late morning walk in the park.

On a weekday there were fewer others strolling by, and those that did smiled warmly in greeting at the lovely-looking pregnant mother and her husband; Britannian gentlemen touched the tips of their hats if they had them and Suzaku would return the gesture with convincing elegance.

"Are you warm, dearest wife?" Suzaku asked after awhile, tenderly but with a playful smile, and Lelouch decided to indulge him in the banter, allowing Suzaku to draw him closer and curling his arm a little more around his as he gave him a soft smile in return.

"Warmer for having you by my side, dear husband."

They shared a quiet chuckle, and then Suzaku appeared momentarily startled - it seemed Kallen or Gino was saying something to him through the little earpiece which had been fitted in one of his ears. Since they'd only had one of those things and Suzaku was the one wearing the communication device, Lelouch reacted quickly, focusing on keeping their pace calm and unhurried and trying not to tense unnecessarily before he knew what it was.

Then he became aware of footsteps behind them, brisk, approaching fast and not at all the footsteps of someone who was taking a similar leisurely walk.

"I'd recognize that pretty face  _anywhere_ , reverse-gender or not." Before he had time to react, that someone had grabbed his wrist from behind, and Lelouch turned to see two people that weren't Kallen and Gino - but every bit just as familiar.

Milly Ashford grinned triumphantly, Rivalz Cardemonde running up close behind her.

" _Lelouch._ "


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working mostly on [A Dawn of Wyverns](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4883062) right now (which will also contain mpreg, though mpreg will not be the main focus there) - but then I remembered that I left my edit/import for this fic hanging for the longest time, so in between my work/updates on _Wyverns_ , I'm going to try to finish polishing and posting the rest of this fic here.
> 
> By "polishing", though, I'm only referring to minor tweaks to sentence structure and some of the dialogue. Other than that, I need to make the disclaimer that **this work remains a product of its time** , because I don't see a way for me to do any major overhauls. 
> 
> It feels a little strange to come back to all the happy characters and situations here, after all the more serious things I've been writing of late, and at times I now find myself wondering if I transitioned them too quickly into the healed, happy stage of things - or if I made them too dorky, even (especially Suzaku in this chapter, orz). Then of course, there are all the smaller issues I am spotting, such as how my earlier writing here seems less mature than I'd like for it to be, such as the few gender-related jokes I no longer quite like, and so on. However, I suppose we all start somewhere, and since this fic still seems dear to many people (on ffn, at least) and still holds a special place in my own heart, I will definitely finish backing this up here eventually. It'll be backdated accordingly once I'm done.
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading, and I hope this story will still bring smiles to you too.
> 
> \- Dec 2015

Six

By the time he turned around, Suzaku was being forced to acknowledge that it was indeed too late to do anything. Kallen had been quick and precise with her warning but Milly had been quicker still – Lelouch was already face to face with their former schoolmates and knowing Milly, there was no way she was going to let either of them go now without an explanation.

Of  _course_  she would've recognized Lelouch, she'd been the first person to have put him in a dress in the first place,  _how_  could he have overlooked –

Suzaku swallowed, vaguely aware of his hold tightening protectively around Lelouch's waist as his mind raced. Granted, they  _were_  Milly and Rivalz, who were their old friends, who  _could_ probably be trusted, who  _did_  have their proper memories back, which  _would_  make explaining things to them easier, but – But then Lelouch's hand on his arm gave it a steadying touch, and Lelouch was smiling, smooth and of the utmost calm.

"Hello, President."

"...I'm not dreaming." Milly hardly seemed perturbed by the more feminine voice exuding from him, though her own tone had softened to a murmur as she looked perceptively at them both. "It really is you. Both of you."

"President," Suzaku began -

"President!" Kallen and Gino were now hurrying over in a jog, causing Rivalz to turn and blink in further surprise.

"Kallen.  _Gino_."

"Well well well," Milly smiled at them. "You too, huh? Seems we've got ourselves quite the little reunion here."

"Milly, please, it's... not what you think –"

"It's all right, Kallen." Lelouch cut her off reassuringly. "I think we can trust that the president will do us no harm – at present, at least."

That much was true. Other than surprise, Milly and Rivalz hardly seemed alarmed about their presence, and Suzaku relaxed a little further, remembering again how Nina had discreetly explained some of the things the two were confused about upon getting their memories back. When Suzaku had last seen them proper at the reopening of Ashford Academy Milly and Rivalz had both appeared to understand what Lelouch had truly done as well – and it'd seemed like they missed him, too.

Perhaps there really was nothing much to worry about after all.

Meanwhile Milly was grinning. "Everyone's going 'President, president, president.' You'll have to be more specific now, you know?"

Rivalz beamed, a little proudly. "I  _am_  the current student council president, after all."

"So I've heard," Lelouch exchanged a meaningful smile with Suzaku.

"Mm-hm." Milly huffed a light breath and settled her hands on her hips, direct as ever. "Well then, since we seem to have broken the ice so nicely... Are you going to tell us what's going on?" There was a knowing twinkle in her eyes as she looked at them. "Nina's told us quite a bit, but she certainly didn't mention that you'd still be...  _alive_ , of all things."

"That would depend on how far that information is going to circulate," Lelouch's smile was smooth again, almost a smirk. "Especially considering the fact that you're still with the media." It was said lightly, and his own eyes were composed – but they were also subtly assessing her intentions, and Suzaku knew that Lelouch was only taking extra precaution with his trust.

Backup – in any situation of course, the Geass was always the backup, reluctant as he and Lelouch both were to cast it on others again...

But Milly met Lelouch's testing words head on, fearless with a grin and a flip of hair over her shoulder. "Fear not, Your Majesty, I'm on my day off. Means no bugs, no broadcasting equipment, nothing. Nada. Zilch."

"Now that I can vouch for," Rivalz added, now grinning as well. "See, we were going for a date, actually -"

"Oh hush, Rivalz." Milly waved a hand to shush him, not unkindly. "The point is... we definitely wouldn't have approached you like that if there were other eyes on us." She said softly, turning back to them. "We know."

Suzaku saw her meet Lelouch's gaze meaningfully, recognized the outwardly expectant but quietly understanding smile on the face of the former student council president – and felt Lelouch slowly and completely relax in his hold.

Milly and Rivalz could still be trusted after all.

And as old friends, maybe they did deserve to have things fully explained to them too, now that it had come to this.

Gino stepped forward a little jokingly. "Shall we frisk them just in case?"

"We'll want to avoid drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves, Weinberg." Lelouch smiled, warmer this time and genuinely at ease, and beside him Suzaku found the warm beginnings of a smile as well. Lelouch turned to look meaningfully at him, voice soft. "...I suppose we can give old friends the benefit of the doubt."

The baby stirred within Lelouch, underneath his palm that was still half-resting on Lelouch's belly, and Suzaku grinned.

"We might as well."

To the passersby, they simply looked like two couples engaged in friendly conversation. Milly had found all of them a comfortably shaded, slightly more secluded area with benches, and Kallen and Gino bought ice-cream and settled down not too far off as well.

"What do you already know?" Lelouch had first asked. An understanding of Geass and how it worked was going to be needed to explain the answers to certain questions their two friends were bound to have – and though Nina, Lloyd, and Cecile had all been aware of his Geass while they'd been assisting him, what they'd known hadn't been extensive. Lelouch had been happy to hear that Nina, at her own discretion, had helped Milly and Rivalz to understand things, and he was agreeable that they were worthy of trust – Milly for instance, despite all her outward frivolity, had kept many secrets well before. Still, Lelouch also believed that Nina would've been wise enough not to give away every single detail too quickly.

"Not that much, actually," Milly admitted, confirming his guess. "After Sir Gottwald brought our old memories back, Nina did fill us in on things, but... not all of it." She pursed her lips. "What she said about you was that you possessed this ability to enforce obedience, which was how you'd risen to power so easily." She paused, her smile small. "And of course, that both you and Suzaku had known everything you were doing from the very beginning."

"That it was all part of your plan to bring things to where they are now," Rivalz added, leaning forward and looking like he already believed it wholeheartedly but wanted to hear it from Lelouch all the same. "It's true, isn't it?"

Lelouch smiled. "I can't say it isn't."

And so he and Suzaku briefly explained what else he felt they needed to know – from how he'd received the Geass and what it was, to his masquerade as Zero, to why the student council had aspects of their memories rewritten after the Black Rebellion, to what had really happened with Shirley and Rolo, to what they'd originally planned for the Requiem and how Suzaku had saved him instead, at the last minute – and why.

"...Whew," Rivalz let out a breath when they were finally done, blinking as he took it all in. "That's... well. At least a lot more things definitely make sense now." He gave them a slow, wry grin. "I never wanted to believe that it was my old buddy Lelouch Lamperouge doing all the stuff you did, you know, but at first..."

"Well, the idea  _was_  to convince the world, wasn't it?" said Milly who'd been listening intently throughout. "We were confused at first too," She admitted, then paused, pressed her lips together and murmured softly, "But even then... after Nina shared the truth with us, after everything... there were still missing pieces. With Shirley, with Rolo, with what you did - and there were no answers... till now, that is."

At her mention of Rolo her eyes had turned a little sad. Lelouch had admitted Shirley's death as an accident on both his and Rolo's parts (which was true) and explained how Rolo had later given his life to save him – and for Milly and Rivalz, who still loved him as part of the student council even after finding out the truth, and who'd been wondering what had happened to him the whole time, the confirmation of his loss was still grim.

"Sorry to hear about Rolo," Rivalz echoed this, soberly, and for a moment Lelouch exchanged a look of quiet regret with Suzaku as well, both remembering full well all the tragedy which had been brought about in the aftermath of the first FLEIJA attack.

"I know."

"But well," Milly whispered, clasping Rivalz's shoulder and smiling a little. "He did a very, very noble thing."

Rivalz smiled back. "Yeah... at least there's that."

"I'm sorry not everyone was there to watch the fireworks like I promised." Lelouch was rueful, but then Milly managed a grin.

"Nonsense. I'm sure they were watching from somewhere too. And we had a pretty good reunion at Ashford that time anyway, didn't we Rivalz?"

"We did," Rivalz affirmed, smiling again. "You still kept your promise, in a way."

"And... all's said and done... it  _is_  good to finally hear the full story from both of you." Milly sat back and looked at Lelouch and Suzaku again, a satisfied shine and the spark of exuberance slowly returning to her eyes as she spoke. "And to see you both alive, of course – what's more, looking so  _lovely_  together too." Here she gave a pert little smirk that was quintessentially Milly, the spark now fully returned, and Lelouch and Suzaku shared a smile between themselves, both blushing lightly.

"I actually feel compelled to give you credit for your disguise," Milly was continuing, scrutinizing their outfits once again with a finger to her chin and eyes still twinkling. "If I hadn't put Lelouch in a dress myself before, I wouldn't have taken a second look at you at all."

Suzaku gave a small laugh. "Trust you of all people to have recognized us."

"She  _is_  President Milly." Rivalz grinned. "So... what are you two doing out here anyway? I thought you said you were in hiding."

"Mhmm. Well whatever it is, they've clearly thought it through very well." It was Milly's turn to lean forward now, eyes flickering down to study Lelouch's abdomen with a playfully curious tilt of her head. "...From escorts to the idea that no one would suspect the Emperor is now a pregnant wife... it's not just some plain old cushion, is it, you've obviously done something to make it look so realistic..." She seemed to be reaching out to touch it before she hesitated halfway, looking at him questioningly instead.

Lelouch allowed himself another smile. "It's... not completely a disguise." He exchanged another look with Suzaku, who smiled knowingly, and in that moment as the baby moved inside him again Lelouch made a simple decision.

"Would you like to give me your hand?"

Milly's eyebrows quirked at his even smile and his own gracefully outstretched hand, but she gave in, curiously, and let him place her palm gently right over the area where the baby was kicking.

There was a second's pause. Milly's eyes shot wide as she looked up at him. "You're not – " and in the next instant she was grabbing Rivalz's hand as well to place it on the same spot.

Poor Rivalz appeared very, very puzzled for a moment – until he felt it too. And then he only did a very natural thing.

Slowly, slowly, Rivalz turned to gawk at Lelouch's serene smile, at Suzaku, at Lelouch's tummy, then back to Lelouch again – and promptly and very neatly passed out.

* * *

It took about twenty seconds – plus Kallen and Gino hurrying over to help – to get Rivalz awake again. Milly had caught him before he toppled right off the bench, laughing her head off, Suzaku went into a state of embarrassed, flustered panic as he leaned over and tried to wake him with a flurry of, "Oh Gods, sorry,  _sorry!_  It's - it's not like that - I mean - well... it  _is_  probably - But... oh, gods..." – and poor Lelouch himself was having trouble trying to look as though he'd anticipated all of it when he actually hadn't quite foreseen such a reaction from Rivalz either.

Fortunately Kallen managed to cup some water from the nearby drinking fountain and sprinkle enough on Rivalz's face to startle him back to consciousness, after which Rivalz could only blink, stare at Lelouch again, and splutter, "You're - you're  _really_  a woman?" Which of course got everyone laughing again as Lelouch swallowed and tried to maintain his composure despite his blush.

"Certainly not. At least... not quite." He bit back a sigh, then gave Milly and Rivalz a slow, simple explanation of how they'd met with the unexpected side-effect of the Geass - which the two fortunately seemed to take quite well after a few moments, owing to the fact that they'd both been able to undeniably feel the baby earlier.

"So we're out as 'husband and wife' to do some shopping, you see, for baby stuff." Suzaku said, helpfully.

" _Husband and wife_ , eh?" Milly was highly amused at all of this new information, blue eyes twinkling impishly once again.

Rivalz blinked. "Wait. Do you mean _clever-disguise_ husband-and-wife or really- _really_ husband-and..."

"Yes," Lelouch sighed - audibly this time - but smiled a little as Suzaku affectionately intertwined a hand with his left one. "With thanks to Nunnally, we did indeed get married."

"...Well." It took a moment's pause for the fact to really sink in, but when it did Milly was reaching up to dab at her eyes with a soft murmur. "Isn't all that just wonderful?"

As usual she was playing up the drama, but her smile was genuine, and slowly Rivalz began to grin as well. "Yeah... Yeah, I think it really is, actually."

"See? Everyone's always delighted to see you both so happy," Gino commented jovially from next to them where he and Kallen were standing, and Kallen grinned back at him as he looped an arm around her shoulders.

Suzaku gave Lelouch's hand a little squeeze, still smiling, and Lelouch smiled back once again as –

"CUT, CUT,  _CUUUT!_ " Milly suddenly declared loudly, clapping her hands together. "All right, enough with the mushy sappy sobstory moments!" Her eyes were now very, very bright and deviously eager, and Lelouch, Suzaku, Rivalz and Kallen had all had enough experience by now to recognize that they were all doomed. "Now, we really don't have any more time to lose if you're here to do some  _serious_  shopping."

"Just a minute, president –" Lelouch tried to begin before disaster struck, but it was too late.

"- Count yourself lucky because you've run into the perfect person for the job! Milly Ashford is going to bring you around and make sure you get the retail experience of your  _life_  – pre-natal style." And then she looked at all of them and grinned. "It's a  _TRIPLE DATE_!"

And well, there really wasn't much else to be said after that. When one dealt with Milly Ashford, one generally learnt that there was no way one could disobey orders once she'd made up her mind - and even more so if Milly Magic (TM complete with sparkles) was in employment. (In fact, when it came down to it, it was probably just as powerful as Lelouch's Geass.)

And so by the sheer power of Milly Magic alone, Lelouch and Suzaku (and therefore Gino and Kallen as well, as their escorts) were whisked into town – despite Lelouch's repeated attempts to decline help and protests that it wouldn't be necessary – and dragged around more than ten malls and over two dozen stores to look at baby clothes, baby products, baby furniture, and of course, maternity clothing. Rivalz, good-natured as he was, was only too happy to be spending time with old friends, and even Kallen gave up grumbling about all the running around and seeing only boring baby stuff as she merrily joined Milly in picking out "exquisitely ladylike" maternity blouses for Lelouch and forcing him to try them on, purely because of how entertaining his reactions always were.

By the end of the day, they'd gotten everything they needed (plus a few more elegant slightly-less-frilly blouses which Milly had insisted on buying for them as well), and it had still been enjoyable with everyone's laughter – seeing the sights of the Tokyo Settlement again, looking at the wide range of baby  _everythings_  (some of which they hadn't even known existed before) with their little one in mind - but Lelouch was, to put it mildly,  _exhausted_.

"You've really wiped him out this time, President." Suzaku remarked laughingly when it was finally time to say goodbye, taking another look at Lelouch's face and wrapping his arm a little more securely around him for support.

"All in a day's work," Milly grinned. "But it's worth it, isn't it?" She looked to Lelouch, who managed a tired but admitting smile back.

"I'll settle for 'rewarding enough'."

At this she gave a triumphant chuckle, but then smiled, voice softening. "It's been wonderful seeing you again... really. And don't worry – we wouldn't dream of telling anything to anyone else."

Lelouch nodded as an indication of his trust. "Thank you. For all you've helped us with today, too."

Milly laughed lightly. "Oh, any time, and you know it." She reached out to clasp his shoulder briefly. "Take care, okay? And let us know when the baby arrives."

"We'll come to visit," Rivalz added with a grin.

"We will," Suzaku promised.

And so finally, after thanking Kallen and Gino for their help as well, they were able to head for home. And the first thing Lelouch did after slipping off his shoes and stepping in was to peel the voice-change patch off his neck and sink into bed, rolling onto his side with a soft groan as he rubbed the hollow of his back. Carrying the weight around the whole time with hardly any rest had been an arduous task and his back had, in fact, been protesting sharply ever since the second half of the day.

Suzaku was quick to climb up alongside him, taking over with tender hands and a comforting nuzzle. He'd been helping with little rubs along his lower back while they'd been walking, ever since he'd first noticed Lelouch rolling his knuckles against it and wincing – still, it was always more effective like this, with Lelouch pliant against him so his hands could do their work.

"Are you still glad we went?" He murmured as he rubbed steady circles into Lelouch's back.

"Mhm." Lelouch made a weary sound of acknowledgment, eyes already drifting shut. "But we are never doing that again."

Suzaku merely chuckled and planted an affectionate kiss to his neck. He was still kneading the stiffness out of Lelouch's muscles when Lelouch reached behind to bring one of his hands slowly forward to his belly, voice soft. "Feel that?" His eyes were still closed but Suzaku could sense him smiling a little. "It's at it again."

Sure enough there was the little spin of a somersault, and then a kick, and then another spin, and kick, kick. Suzaku grinned into Lelouch's shoulder, stroking the curve of his stomach with a thumb. "Oh, little one."

He'd warmed with both wonder and quiet pride when Lelouch had first brought his attention to the baby's imitation of his own combat habit some weeks ago; it was a strangely heartening thing but it also made Suzaku a little more nervous with excitement each time – and sheepish, knowing the discomfort it sometimes caused Lelouch as well. "Come on now," he coaxed, still speaking to it as he smoothed his palm gently up and down the bump. "I'm sure Mommy's already had enough activity for one day."

Lelouch laughed a little, which seemed to trigger more feather-like whirls of supposed delight from within, and Suzaku smiled, eventually sliding his hand back to continue massaging Lelouch until he was nestling his face in the pillows with a long, quiet sigh.

"...By the way," Suzaku murmured teasingly against his ear after a few moments, unable to help himself, "You’re not really planning on staying like this, are you? Of course, I’m not going to mind either way, but–"

Lelouch opened his eyes with a small start, seeming to remember only then that he was still fully dressed in a wig and women's maternity wear – but he was already too tired to do anything beyond giving a frustrated groan into his pillow.

Laughing, Suzaku kissed him again below his ear, then lifted him despite his startled protests and carried him into the shower for a nice, warm and long bath together.

* * *

The new clothes seemed to fit Lelouch fine, allowing for more space around his middle without looking too baggy on him. Aside from the simple blouses Milly had picked out Lelouch had mostly gone with more sweatshirts and stretchable tops, the material cozy and soft to the touch whenever Suzaku was nuzzling or caressing the growing mound of the baby.

And then there came a day when Arthur decided he  _absolutely did not want_ a bath, which resulted in an overturned basin, a soapy floor, and one very soaked, very scratched up Suzaku – while Lelouch stood observing the mess with the back of his hand perched on his lower back and a distinct scowl of disdain on his face. Suzaku took one look at him and almost laughed aloud despite the situation, because in that moment it had never been clearer that even with the protruding tummy, the way he had to support it, and everything else that supposedly came along with weight gain in pregnancy, Lelouch  _still_  managed to make himself look downright fabulous.

Lelouch, seeing his expression, frowned a little. "...What?"

So Suzaku told him - and Lelouch simply sighed, rolled his eyes, then tossed him a towel with a flourish and a smile which Suzaku thought only further proved his point.

Kallen had made a teasing comment during the outing however, on how Lelouch had begun taking on the fabled doe-eyed look often associated with pregnancy, and Suzaku was discovering that it truly hadn't had anything to do with the blue contacts on that day after all. Though his expressions and mannerisms remained classically Lelouch, Lelouch's eyes, to one who knew them well, had indeed become a little softer, a little wider, a little more delicate. It was a very subtle change, noticeable only if one looked a second longer, but coupled with the hint of a rosy flush that all the increased blood circulation was bringing to his pale skin, Lelouch looked perfectly (and unintentionally) adorable sometimes – even while scowling or peeved – and well, as long as Lelouch wasn't busy being pissed, it always made it tempting to snuggle and kiss even more.

Lelouch was still having it easy with the excess weight gain, too. Julianna mentioned how envious she was, and they were all beginning to suspect that Lelouch's middle was indeed the only thing that was ever going to change significantly in size throughout the entire pregnancy. Meanwhile the baby simply minded its own business and continued growing at a healthy pace.

Its increasing weight, though, was starting to make it rather suffocating for Lelouch to lie resting on his back, and soon this was hardly possible for him. Even while on his side, gravity would now seem to pull the small bulk of everything downward, and neither Lelouch nor the little one found this very comfortable – so they fluffed up a few extra pillows, and Lelouch never slept now without one or two tucked snugly on either side of him, to help prop up the weight regardless of which side he rolled to. The whole sight of Lelouch sound asleep in a mountain of pillows in the morning only made leaving for work even more difficult for Suzaku, though thankfully enough, he and Nunnally were already making arrangements so that he could be home more often as the due date drew nearer – and during the months that were to be the baby's first few, plans were already in place for Zero's complete absence; Nunnally herself was making time for more personal retreats as well.

But while Suzaku was gone there was always help, once again, in the form of Sayoko. She was there often now, since there were certain tasks Lelouch couldn't quite carry out anymore due to his condition (or, as became Suzaku's favorite overprotective excuse, the risk of overstraining his back). Sometimes, even while Suzaku and Nunnally were both around, Sayoko would be there too, not only lightening the workload but teaching the parents-to-be some valuable lessons beforehand.

Lelouch could cook, sew, and look after an invalid Nunnally perfectly, right down to cutting her hair, but caring for a baby wasn't quite the same thing and he hadn't the experience Sayoko had had while working for the Ashfords. Suzaku of course was no different, and Sayoko had them take note of and practice a number of things, from the appropriate temperature for bottled milk, to the proper way of holding and bathing a young infant, and so on.

Kallen wanted to help prepare for the baby's arrival, too. Suzaku returned home one day with two very "thoughtful", as she claimed, presents from her: the first, a brand new frilly, frilly pink apron, not unlike the ones Milly had made the boys wear in the kitchen during their school days, and the second, a comprehensive guidebook on knitting baby wear, complete with balls of pastel-colored yarn and two new and shining knitting needles.

"She has," Lelouch raised an unamused eyebrow when he saw the gifts, "a remarkable sense of humor."

But perhaps it was all just as well, because a week later the old apron tore (but  _of course_  it had absolutely nothing to do with C.C. being bored and picking up the nearest cloth object to wave in Arthur's face for a little fun) – and eventually, restless from not being able to do much while Sayoko was monopolizing the housework, Lelouch found himself taking out the book, the yarn and the needles - just for a little experimenting, of course, since he didn't exactly have anything better to do besides setting chess puzzles for himself...

" _Remarkable sense of humor_ , huh?" C.C. smirked when she came out to the living room and caught him already halfway through a pair of baby booties, yarn all over his lap and a look of deep concentration on his face as he frowned at the book's instructions and absently shooed Arthur away from his precious handiwork yet again.

"Shut up."

C.C. just laughed.

* * *

"We still need to think of a name," Suzaku murmured to Lelouch from beside him one afternoon, one arm wrapped around him so his hand could caress his belly as they admired the sunflowers from the porch. There was a strong breeze that day and the plants were swaying subtly, happily to and fro in the wind.

"I've been playing with a few ideas." Lelouch informed him, then raised a brow with a slight smile. "Don't tell me you want to name it after a flower."

Suzaku laughed softly, not surprised at how he'd made the link. "Just a suggestion." He kissed his cheek. "If it really is a girl." He turned back to look at their garden for a moment, musing, "...I think something to do with the sun, or a flower would be nice."

At this Lelouch chuckled, but acknowledged his words with another smile. "...Nothing's truly struck me yet, actually," he admitted, leaning against Suzaku as he then whispered, eyes softening a little further, "And I'd still like to see it first before we make a final decision."

Suzaku smiled and pressed another kiss to his cheek. "That sounds good, too."

* * *

That evening it so happened that they were left alone, with C.C. out and Sayoko back on the farm with Jeremiah. The breeze from earlier in the day had ended up bringing on a torrential downpour, but besides this things remained relatively peaceful and cozy inside, Lelouch settling into the armchair with more yarn as Suzaku attempted to take on the role of baking blueberry pie for breakfast in the kitchen.

Lelouch – being Lelouch – had of course gotten the hang of knitting quite easily after the first pair of booties; at Suzaku's adoring encouragement he'd since made a couple of bonnets and had now decided to start on mittens. Kallen had been surprisingly observant and chosen yarn colors similar to the baby clothes they'd picked up while shopping: fewer gender-coded ones, more yellow, pale green and white - not that color ultimately mattered to either parent in the first place.

If the baby  _was_ , however, by some chance a boy indeed... Lelouch began knitting evenly, letting more considerations for names run through his mind while the little one merrily continued its stretching and kicking exercises inside him.

He and Suzaku had ended up discussing things a little further and had at least managed to rule out a few things, one being keeping to the naming tradition in Suzaku's family. Following the custom meant that  _Seiryuu_ or  _Byakko_  could be used regardless of whether the baby was a boy or a girl, but then neither name sounded right to both parents, and Suzaku was also understandably reluctant at the significance and at the idea of continuing the family line down that path.

No,  _Kururugi_  would remain as the sole family name no more – not with  _vi Britannia_  now following after, both lineages now combining into a new one of hope...

Yes,  _hope_  was a fitting enough word to describe things, Lelouch decided, giving his stomach a gentle rub as there was another kick. There was still always the small, underlying fear that something would go wrong somewhere, especially since his body had never been wired for this, but with everything that had been happening and Julianna's capable and positive diagnoses Lelouch was confident that their child would be just fine. And the baby's playful movements, as always, were the best reassurance of this... despite how uncomfortable they could sometimes get.

It kicked him again, hard and near what felt like his stomach - and Lelouch almost winced, but smoothed a hand over the curve instead with a smile of fond exasperation.

_"Rascal" suits you just fine right about now._

At seven months and counting he supposed there was slightly less room for its favorite activity of somersaulting now, though he could still sense the little one whirling around inside at least once a day. On the whole, however, it seemed to be channeling more of its energy into other shifting movements and stretching - or, as with the current situation, complaining restlessly about whatever he was doing or not doing.

Kick, kick,  _kick_.

Lelouch sighed and put aside the knitting. He was about to get up and see if a walk around would help the baby to settle a bit when there was a sudden loud  _BOOM!_  that came from the kitchen.

The baby jumped within him, startled – just as the entire house then plunged into darkness.

Whatever it was, it certainly hadn't been thunder. Lelouch rubbed his belly comfortingly at the now tiny, uncertain stir coming from it and tried not to sigh again at the thought of what the noise could have possibly been.  _It's all right, little one, it's just your idiot of a father in the kitchen._

He felt for the arm of the chair with his other hand and sat forward, eyes still attempting to adjust to the pitch black surrounding him. "Suzaku?"

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" The call came back from the kitchen. At least Suzaku did sound all right, if not a little frantic.

"What is it this time?"

"I'm uh... I'm not sure. Look, just -  _stay there_ , okay? I'll go get a flashlight or something."

Over the sound of the still ongoing downpour Lelouch could hear a bump, some rummaging, then more unsuccessful fumbling around. Here, away from the city with all their lights out, a storm raging outside and no moon, it really was pitch dark, so it was no surprise that Suzaku wanted him to stay put even though he was clearly having difficulty looking for a torchlight himself.

"You'll find one on the mantelpiece," Lelouch told him, suddenly remembering that he'd seen one there and thus saving Suzaku the trouble of groping the whole way to their bedroom for another.

A few seconds later, "Okay... I think I'm there, just hang on a bit..."

Lelouch's assumption that Suzaku was already feeling around the shelf for it was confirmed when there was a sudden, high-pitched meowing yowl of protest, followed by Suzaku's resultant hiss of pain as Arthur rewarded him for grabbing and startling him out of slumber by mistake.

" _\- Ouch!_  Ah, Arthur what are you  _doing_  here? Ow..."

Bright lightning flashed in time for Lelouch to see the cat hopping off the mantelpiece and slinking indignantly away. The baby jumped a little again at the particularly loud clap of thunder that followed soon after and he stroked his womb soothingly once more as the beam from the flashlight finally came on.

"Got it." Suzaku announced triumphantly.

Lelouch rose from the chair, smiling apologetically as he made his way over to him. "Are you all right? Sorry I didn't expect the cat to be there either."

"I'm okay," Suzaku shook his injured hand with a wry grimace of a smile and looked back at the kitchen. "We should... probably try and figure out what happened..."

"First things first," Lelouch allowed himself a small laugh. "Let's get the lights back on, it's not as if the house is about to burn down."

"...Right." Suzaku grinned, sheepish.

He pulled up a chair to stand on so he could reach the circuit breaker, while Lelouch took the torchlight and directed the beam on the box from below. "Can you see it?"

Suzaku peered at the array of switches before him and eventually found the main one. "- Yep." And he was just about to reach and flick it back on when something under him gave a very timely _crack_.

"Watch it!" Out of reflex Lelouch flung out a hand to steady him as the chair seemed to give way, though in the few seconds and sudden flurry of things Suzaku's toppling and the baby's weight affected Lelouch's own balance and before either of them quite knew it they'd both landed on the floor in total blackness once again, Lelouch on his bottom, and Suzaku somewhere near him.

"Oh,  _Gods -_ " Suzaku seemed to choke with sudden panic, feeling frantically for him in the dark. " _Lelouch -_ "

Lelouch found Suzaku's arm, understanding his worry immediately and laughing softly as the baby gave a little wiggle inside him, quite all right. "We're fine." Suzaku was bent over him now, close and concerned and Lelouch brushed a light kiss over his jaw to reassure him. "You?"

"...I'm good, yeah."

They stayed that way for a few more moments, both still catching their breaths. Lelouch felt for the flashlight which he'd dropped in the tumble, picked it up, and tried to turn it back on with no success - even when he hit it a few times against his palm.

"...The flashlight's broken now too, isn't it?" Suzaku asked defeatedly.

"It is."

And then somehow something caused Lelouch to start chuckling, low and mirthful.

"What's so funny?" Suzaku was curious, though Lelouch could feel him already smiling as well, affected by his laughter.

"Just a realization." Lelouch grinned a little. "Here we are – former world leaders, formidable Knightmare pilots, commanders of battalions, the two people who've destroyed the world and recreated it whole... and yet somehow we just don't seem quite as capable of getting ourselves out of a simple fix like this."

"... But... that's just sad, Lelouch."

"You're telling me."

A second passed and they both burst into laughter at the irony of it all, Suzaku leaning and managing to nuzzle Lelouch's cheek, and Lelouch searching for his mouth to plant another laughing kiss there in return.

And so after their little celebration at being given the opportunity to brave the struggles of a simple and mundane life together Suzaku ended up having to grope his way to the bedroom to get another flashlight after all, after which they discovered that the whole fall had occurred because one of the chair's legs had been weak and given way. So they brought another chair over, and finally, after testing it for stability and with Suzaku insisting that Lelouch stand further back this time in case the same thing happened again, they got the house's lights and electricity back on.

This, however, only brought their attention to another mini disaster as they entered the kitchen. In his panic Suzaku had left the tap running; the sound of gushing water had blended in perfectly with the noise of the rain while they'd been busy tending to the blackout and they hadn't noticed it at all, and so now the kitchen was starting to flood, water spilling from the overflowing sink and all over on to the floor.

"- Shit." Suzaku raced to shut off the tap, "shit, shit, shit shit  _shit_  -" and in his hurry, skidded on the soapiness of the growing puddle and landed rather unceremoniously on his bum, smack in the middle of it all. "...Ow."

Lelouch crossed the floor carefully and with delicacy, deliberately ignoring Suzaku's worried protests of "No wait it's dangerous you're -", and reached and twisted the faucet slowly, firmly shut.

Then he stood with his dry hand on his hip, took in the sight of Suzaku sitting and sopping wet in a puddle of water and suds, and gave a thin, dryly humored and mocking smirk.

"I wonder why this looks so oddly familiar."

Suzaku's smile was a little forlorn. "...Sorry?"

In another situation Lelouch might have found himself a little more exasperated, but as it was, there was no point getting worked up over Suzaku's occasional eager-to-please stupidity and the whole sight was actually rather comical to behold, so he could only shake his head with a small, reluctant smile and extend a hand to help him back up.

"It appears," Lelouch nodded toward the oven, having smelt the blueberries and thus noticing it once he'd stepped into the kitchen, "that our oven is now covered in blueberry sauce."

Suzaku was drying his hands off on the front of his shirt. "Well, I did already put the pie in, so -" It was his turn to notice that the oven hadn't come back on though they'd fixed the power trip, and then that its transparent door was now dripping with purplish sauce from the inside. Suzaku blinked. "The  _pie_  was what exploded? In the oven?"

"It certainly looks like it." Lelouch frowned. He crossed over to the still-dry part of the kitchen, knelt, and slowly pulled open the oven, Suzaku following behind to peer over his shoulder.

A hundred pieces of scattered blue glass fragments glistened back up at them, amidst the ruined pie and dripping sauce. Lelouch recognized the crystal-blue immediately.

"...Suzaku, isn't this the glass dish that I normally use for placing fruit on the table?"

"Um... yes?" Suzaku responded tentatively.

"And you thought that it would make a suitable pie dish... why?"

"Well it was there and empty, and I thought it'd look nice with your pie, so..."

Lelouch pressed his lips together. "Did you check to see if it was oven-safe?"

Suzaku's answer was a very informative "...Uhm."

At this point Lelouch realized that strangling something – or someone – would probably have felt good after all. It would probably have felt  _very_  good, but instead he turned unblinkingly back to the mess, ran a finger through the sauce coating the inside of the oven door, and popped it into his mouth. Then he closed his eyes and sighed deeply – both at Suzaku's utter and complete idiocy, and at the warm taste of berries on his tongue.

At least the sauce was good, too. That was important.

And again, on the practical side of things, allowing himself to get too exasperated over this was only going to drain him of the energy they were now going to need to clean up the entire mess.

And Suzaku had only been trying.

"...Lelouch?"

"Mhm."

"You know, if you want to kill me, any time now would be fine. Just saying."

"...We're about seven months too late for that." Lelouch opened his eyes with a wry smirk. Suzaku was currently looking at him as though there was still a chance Lelouch would decide to do something heinous to him with a knife, but he was also looking absolutely morose.

Lelouch smiled. "Besides... I've got a much better use for you at the moment." He softened and placed a reassuring hand on Suzaku's shoulder. "Go get a mop for the sink area. You clear that up, and I'll handle things over here. How does that sound?"

* * *

An hour and a half later, Suzaku was still feeling pretty bad about everything.

They'd managed to clean up all the mess in the kitchen, and he'd unclogged the sink and mopped up the floor in time to help Lelouch finish wiping out the oven and wash up everything else. In slight paranoia, Suzaku had also insisted on checking every chair in the house to make sure there weren't any other faulty ones and to prevent Lelouch from ending up in any accidents before the baby was born. And fortunately, they'd managed to get the oven back up and running after a few tries.

Still, none of this was going to change the fact that there would be no more blueberry pie the next day, that he'd broken one of the display dishes Lelouch had liked (plus one chair and one flashlight), that he'd nearly caused a serious accident by not reacting fast enough when the chair had suddenly given way, and that he'd been the cause of all the trouble and mess in the first place – it’d been only one small oversight, but... still.

Suzaku had only wanted to bake Lelouch a nice breakfast for the next morning and let him rest – he really had. Instead he'd only ended up creating more headaches and work for them both.

They'd cleared up everything and showered and Lelouch, towel still wrapped around his hips, had noticed him washing his hands under the bathroom tap and wincing. "Let me see," he'd said softly, then taken his injured hand, looked at the still-open wound, and promptly sent him off to wait on the bed while he got dressed himself and readied the first-aid kit.

And it didn't help that Lelouch was now here, gingerly and tirelessly tending to the nasty wound Arthur had given him earlier – with not a single cutting remark, even after everything that had happened.

Suzaku didn't think he deserved it at all.

The bite was indeed a deep one this time, since Arthur had only been reacting in startled defense – and so the antiseptic now stung terribly. Suzaku couldn't stop himself from wincing again as his finger twitched, and wordlessly Lelouch brought the affected hand closer to his mouth and began blowing gentle streams of air over the wound, soothing the pain.

The tenderness with which he did it only made Suzaku feel worse.

"I'm hopeless, aren't I." He finally murmured miserably.

Lelouch blew on the wound gently one more time, then set his hand down and picked up the bandaging, smiling comfortingly. "You're not hopeless." He lifted his hand again and dressed the injury, wrapping the gauze neatly, carefully around his finger. "An idiot, clearly – but not hopeless."

And then he secured the dressing and paused, looking back up at him with a small smile. "And I love you anyway," he said softly, planting a tender kiss to the now well-bandaged digit.

Suzaku managed a weak smile in return – warmed, touched, and feeling just a little bit better.

Lelouch knew him well, though, and pressed in to kiss his lips next, brief, softly wet, and just as tenderly as before. "Now stop fretting."

Despite everything, Lelouch would admit that he found it all oddly sweet – Suzaku's protectiveness, concern, and constant over-eagerness to help and do things for him only arose from his own love and care after all – and though Lelouch had to grudgingly give in to more dependency in certain areas as the little one kept growing he was also greatly warmed by how Suzaku was doing his best as a primary form of support. That Suzaku seemed to have a tendency to make things worse instead from time to time was simply a little unfortunate.

Lelouch  _was_  a bit tired, and of course it would have been nice if Suzaku had used his head a little more before deciding to place display glass in the oven, but Suzaku needed to know that Lelouch wasn't mad at him, and that it didn't necessarily make him a failure.

Slowly Lelouch reached to touch the side of his face, running a thumb across his cheek and looking into green eyes still tinged with guilt. "What matters to me is your earnestness in whatever you've done." He whispered, then gave him a meaningful smile. "And accidents do happen. Weren't we just laughing at ourselves a couple of hours ago?"

Lelouch's eyes were soft and beautiful, not in the least accusing, and Suzaku – at his words, his reminder, the warmth of his palm on his cheek – could only cover his hand with his own, heart swelling with an emotion he couldn't quite name; a mix of gratitude and love. There weren't any other words he could find in that moment, and it was difficult not to smile as he finally breathed, " _Lelouch._ "

And Lelouch looked at him, chuckled softly, and kissed him again. It was slow and long and sweet, both Lelouch's hands now cupping his face gently as Suzaku pulled him closer with a careful tenderness, and when it was over Lelouch kissed his forehead and murmured again, "Idiot."

But it was affectionate, and his smirk only light and teasing as he got up to put back the first-aid kit. Something caused him to stop halfway, however, and Suzaku saw the smirk turn into a grimace as his hand went to his back.

"Aches...?" He asked just to be sure.

"- Yes." Lelouch sighed but smiled a little. "Nothing beyond the usual. Don't worry."

Suzaku gave him a sympathetic, still-somewhat apologetic look anyway and stretched out his arms. "C'mere," he said softly, and made Lelouch put the kit on the side table and sit back down on the mattress, while he shifted behind him and went to work.

It was a little trickier this time with his index finger all bandaged up, but Suzaku was an expert by now at using both the heel of his palm and his knuckles, and he focused instead on listening for the small sounds and hitches of breath from Lelouch which always helped in letting him know the areas to concentrate on. After the evening's events Suzaku was determined to make it  _good,_  and before long Lelouch was letting out a soft moan as he leaned into the massage, head tilting slightly back with his eyes closed.

"Better?" Suzaku murmured against his neck after awhile, still running a palm soothingly up and down his back.

"...Much." Lelouch's sigh was one of relief. He turned to look at him, smiling. "I'm a little surprised you managed that even with that finger."

Suzaku held up his carefully bandaged finger and looked at it innocently. "This?" And then against his better judgment – just to prove how effective it still was thanks to Lelouch's tender loving care – he grinned back and used it to give Lelouch a sudden, small and playful poke in his side.

"No no no  _don't -_ " Lelouch seemed to realize his intention in time but his protest was too late, and he flinched away from the tickle as Suzaku laughed at how adorable he'd looked.

But then there was a low growl, and the smile immediately vanished from Suzaku's face.  _Oh, hell -_

Perhaps his usual lightning-fast maneuvers were getting a little rusty, or perhaps it was because he was a little tired, or perhaps it was because Lelouch was a little heavier now with the added weight of the baby and everything in his womb - but somehow Lelouch, in seething vengeance, managed to push him down and settle himself neatly on his hips, and in between very unsuccessfully trying to squirm out from under him without hurting the growing mound of his belly in front, Suzaku was tortured, ravaged, and mercilessly attacked in all his weak spots Lelouch had already discovered way back in childhood – particularly the sensitive flesh just right under his left ribcage – until he was howling with laughter, gasping and close to tears in surrender.

"Okay! Okay! Sto-Stop! You win, I give up! Gods,  _Lelouch_  – " Suzaku was still laughing, and when Lelouch didn't cease the tickling he tried to seize his hands blindly (because he was laughing so hard) to no avail. "Okay I surrender, I'm sorry!  _I'm sorry!_   _Stop_ , please, stop..."

Lelouch finally seemed satisfied with this and relented but didn't climb off him, settling further into his hips instead with the smuggest, most vindicated smirk Suzaku had seen in awhile. His violet eyes were brilliant and deviously lidded, and now that more coherence had returned to his mind, Suzaku was forced to revise his theory on the softening, vulnerable effect pregnancy was _supposed_  to have on former world dictators, because clearly, Lelouch was still fully and completely –

"- Evil," he gasped, still getting his breath back while trying to roll onto his side. "You are just... plain..."

Lelouch leaned over him with a slow and terrifying smile. "What was that?"

"Ah - nothing!" Suzaku was quick to cover up and feign innocence. Lelouch looked very glorious up there, however, dark lashes, lips curved, a subtle pregnant glow and all and Suzaku wanted to kiss him – but at that thought, realized laughingly, "Gods... you haven't done this to me in...  _years._ "

The last time Lelouch had managed to pin him and render him powerless in a strategically, specifically-targeted surprise tickling attack like that had been when they were children, and he'd been sitting atop him with the exact same expression he was wearing now –  smug, beautiful, and divinely evil. Apparently Lelouch remembered this very well too, because he smirked again, "I know," and then deftly prodded the area under his ribs once more with just the right amount of pressure.

Suzaku gave a laughing yelp of protest, hands automatically flying to his defense, and Lelouch's smirk only grew. "You haven't changed at all."

Except he had... they both had, in so many other ways, and once again Suzaku was brought to amazement and humble gratitude at the reality of where they now were – what they now had, blossoming within Lelouch – as he finally pulled him gently down to meet his lips with his own, still laughing softly. Lelouch was chuckling too against his lips and the kiss was loving, much like the one from just before, but deeper this time as Suzaku slipped his tongue further into Lelouch's mouth, a slow, warm slide against the sensual stroke of Lelouch's own.

The baby was no longer a little thing that fit snugly into his own waist like the missing piece of a puzzle whenever they were pressed together like this, but Suzaku now found compensation in the ability to slide his hand from Lelouch's spine to his side, warmly cradling its roundness and the child within while his other hand moved up to tangle in Lelouch's hair.

And Lelouch's heartbeat was intensifying slightly against his, which had to have excited the baby – or the baby must have wanted to participate in the tickling as well, because when Suzaku finally drew back it was to the feel of its tiny flurries of movement against his abdomen, through Lelouch's own.

"...That tickles, too." Suzaku whispered quietly, smiling and enthralled as always as he kept himself perfectly still, half-wishing the moment wouldn't pass.

Lelouch's smile was knowing and soft. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually laughing along with us the whole time."

And at this Suzaku chuckled softly, tilted his head up, and kissed Lelouch sweetly again, all other worries and the night's disasters finally fading and no longer so important – because it had become clear that no matter how many chairs he'd broken, or how many pies he'd destroyed – and no matter what wrongs they'd both done in the past... their baby was happy and safe, they still had each other, and in the end, that was all that truly, truly did matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, the cottage they got for themselves can't have been brand new since I had a lot of fun using it to throw them into domestic troubleshooting scenarios throughout the course of this fic. Poor old cottage. It's probably still comfortable and lovely to live in, though. 
> 
> This chapter, in my personal opinion, also remains the sappiest, most diabetes-inducing chapter of the whole thing :'D


End file.
